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“Do you love him?” Ren asks. I blink away a few tears, knowing the answer but not ready to admit it. If I say it out loud, my devastation becomes that much more real.
“It doesn’t matter now,” I murmur, my voice cracking at the end.
“Do you want to leave? We could sneak out now. No one is paying attention to us.”
I bite my lip, debating it. I glance across the room to where Ryker is sitting with King Koda, Queen Salem, and King Romer. He’s standing close to the edge of the little stage, talking to one of the other girls in the ceremony. My heart sinks.
I feel nauseous and yet cold and empty at the same time. How can I feel the loss of Ryker so deeply when he was never even mine in the first place?
“Yeah, let’s get out of here,” I choke out.
Ren nods, and I take one last look at Ryker before I follow her around the edge of the room and out the door.
“Do I have time to take a quick shower?” Ren asks as we stop outside her bedroom door.
“Yeah. I doubt anyone will even notice we’re gone. Take your time.”
She nods, giving me a sad smile before disappearing into her room.
I’m almost to my room when loud footsteps sound from behind me. I whirl around, shocked to see Ryker hurrying after me.
“Are you okay?” he asks once he reaches my side.
I look away from him, trying to remain calm and neutral. It’s not his fault I got caught up in the fantasy of being his queen. “Yeah, I’m fine. Should you be up here?” I ask him. He frowns.
“What?”
“Should you be away from the party? From the… guests?” I almost choke on the last word, picturing Ryker chatting up that girl who was up on stage with him. If she’s his queen, he should be with her, not following me to my room.
“Yeah, it’s fine. What are you doing up here?” he asks.
I pause. Should I tell him Ren and I are leaving? Will he try to stop me? Do I want him too?
“I just wanted to change my shoes. These are kind of pinching my feet.”
“Oh. Here.”
“What?”
Before I can react, he swings me up in his arms and carries me into my room. My head naturally falls to his shoulder as I curl up in his embrace. It feels so good, so perfect right here. Why can’t he feel it, too?
“I could have walked,” I tell him as he sets me down on my bed.
“You said you were hurt.”
My heart threatens to burst out of my chest, and I have to remind myself how weird and dismissive he’s been acting all night to get my emotions under control.
“I’m fine now. You should get back downstairs.”
“I wanted to talk to you about something. Actually, I wanted to show you something,” he says. That nervous energy is back again.
“Okay,” I say slowly. This is it. He’s going to tell me he fell madly in love with one of the other women and it’s best for me to leave.
He looks away from me, and I can see the internal struggle behind his mismatched eyes. It’s like he’s at war with himself, not sure how to put his thoughts into words.
“Ryker?” I ask after he hasn’t said anything for a few minutes.
He blinks, coming back to the room, but my stomach sinks when I see his hands tightening into fists again. I try distracting myself to stem the tears from breaking free, but a few escape, along with a pathetic sniffle.
