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"Dexter?" Jezebeth asked after a minute or so of no one moving. "Are you coming?"
"He can't drive home," Mykie murmured, staring at the door. "Not in that state."
"Should I go after him?" Dexter asked.
"I've talked to him enough. He'd rather see you than me," she responded.
Dexter nodded quickly. He went over to the shoe pile and started pulling on his own shoes.
"Be careful out there. You said it was slippery," Jezebeth stated.
Dexter didn't answer her before he ran out the door, which he closed behind him. Jezebeth huffed and leaned her head against the hallway wall. "So much for a relaxing evening."
"You're telling me. I'm the one who had the long day. I think I'm going to head to bed again, actually." Mykie pushed herself up and off the floor with the help of the coffee table.
"Sounds like a good plan. I'll put the food in the fridge before I go back to bed," Jezebeth said, standing up straight from where she was leaning in the doorway. She turned around and went towards the kitchen.
Mykie collected the bottle of alcohol and set it in her room before she grabbed the glasses and box of wings. She carried them into the kitchen, where Jezebeth was already bent over stacking the pizza boxes into the refrigerator. Mykie set the box of wings on the counter beside the fridge and set the glasses in the sink to clean in the morning.
She paused in the kitchen doorway, looking back at her roommate. "Hey, Jez?"
"Hmm?" Jezebeth hummed.
"How's it going with Dexter?"
A sigh came from the other side of the open fridge door. "He's the only constant in my life right now. You're here, but you have your own life and own problems to deal with. Dexter...He's there whenever I need him."
"Do you love him?"
Mykie stood in the doorway for a few minutes without receiving an answer. The only sounds in the kitchen were the clanking and scraping of items being rearranged in the refrigerator. She almost turned and left, but Jezebeth spoke up just before she moved.
"It's the closest thing I can compare to love." Jezebeth pushed herself up just enough to grab the box of wings before she sat back down. "Do you love any of your boys?"
An image of the boys sitting around a table at Pearl's, minus Ryker came to her mind. They were all smiling and happy with each other, but their smiles widened when she approached their table. She pushed it out of her mind with difficulty, rubbing her injured shoulder as a reminder that being around her brought nothing but trouble.
"It doesn't matter right now. Half of them probably hate me," she said quietly.
"I didn't ask that. I asked whether you loved any of them."
She remembered the angry and hurt expression on Renly's face before she left his house vividly. She could never love someone who didn't trust her or thought so bad about her. But that wasn’t fair of her. He wasn’t thinking rationally, and neither was she when they were yelling at each other. She needed to allow him to cool off before she could consider where they would go from there with their relationship.
Corbus would be easy to love, butdidshe love him? Not yet.
Caspar was easy to fall for. He kept her secrets from friends that he knew longer than her, knowing the risk of losing the only thing he could call a safe bed. That enough meant a lot to her, but the fact that he continued to defend her against his friends meant that she made the right decision to claim him under Cantil law. She may not have said the words to him, but she was in love with him.
Blaine was an odd one. She wasn't sure where he stood with her. First, he treats her horribly, then he offers her his bed, then saves her after she's attacked at the mall? She didn't understand what his deal was now. Was he trying to keep her safe or push her away?
Ryker had no qualms about telling her that he loved her, but she was afraid of how strong she felt for him. Was it love? Companionship? Fondness? All she knew at the moment was that she missed him when he wasn't around. Dexter's words stuck in her head. He was a mystery, and she couldn't help but suspect he knew something she didn't. Including things he knew about her.
"Some of them," Mykie admitted. "I'm falling quickly, but I’m afraid of someone getting hurt.”
"We're Cantil, Myk. Of course, they're at risk of being hurt."
"I meant emotionally hurt," Mykie said, correcting her statement. "I’m not falling for them all at the same time. What if one gets hurt because I don’t feel enough about them yet?”
Mykie couldn't see Jezebeth passed the fridge door, but she assumed that the girl had nodded along with her. "What you’re feeling is understandable, but I wouldn’t worry so much about it. As long as you build that trust, that shouldn’t be as big of an issue as you’re making it out to be. Each relationship is an individual one with you and should be treated as such.”
"You’re right, I won't stress about it tonight. There's nothing I can do about it right this moment."
