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“Such as this.”
He reaches for me, and the last thing I think about doing is stopping him. I’ve imagined this so many times that his hand on my back doesn’t even feel real.
What does feel real? Hayden’s lips as they crash onto mine. In less than a millisecond I’m opening for him, and at the first touch of his tongue, I curse myself.
Not for being here.
Not for making another bad decision.
But for even thinking for a half a heartbeat this wasn’t going to happen.
As his mouth slants over mine, I drink him in completely. I grab his arms, wanting him closer, and savor the feel of them beneath my fingertips.
When he moans, I’m lost.
He pulls me closer, his loose gym shorts doing little to hide his erection pressed up against me.
Like a man dying of thirst, he pulls away and kisses my neck. His lips move lower, and lower still, until he’s just above my collarbone. A first kiss is always exciting, but there’s something different about this one. The need I feel is almost ferocious. As his lips trail another line of kisses back up my neck, which I’m freely giving him access to, my lips part. I want more. Need more.
This thing between us is stronger than I realized. It’s more than just a foolish attraction or a silly obsession.
It’s only when he’s about to kiss me on the lips again that he stops, suddenly.
We’re locked together now, neither of us moving. I never want to move from this spot.
“I promised you.”
And I know exactly which promise he’s referring to. The one he made at the deli, when he said this was a totally innocent offer.
I don’t doubt that he meant it at the time. That he planned to resist, just as I did.
But we’ve obviously both been fooling ourselves.
18
Hayden
Iam such a jerk.
“I’m so sorry,” I say, stepping back. I’m not sure what came over me. One minute, I was a pillar. Keeping the island between us. Pretending Ada was any other friend I might have invited to my apartment to get out of the rain.
Enjoying her company, as it were.
When a dirty thought popped into my head, I shoved it to the side. When I imagined myself fisting her ponytail to further expose the expanse of her neck, which was way too covered up by my T-shirt, I very valiantly put it from my mind.
But then she opened up to me. She told me about the incident that made her second-guess her judgment. It’s clear it still weighs on her, even though she’s achieved so much in spite of it. Of course, I suspect her father’s involvement is what troubles her most. Although she clearly cares about her career, it’s obvious she cares more about making her father proud. If he’s the kind of man I suspect he is, I’m sure she already has.
Something snapped in me when I heard the raw emotion in her voice.
I forgot to block out the dangerous thoughts.
To put touching Ada out of my mind.
So I did what I’ve been dying to do since that first day, and now we’re both paying the price.
“I swear I didn’t intend to do that. I don’t make hollow promises.”
Inserting more distance between us, I circle back around the island, putting it between us.
