Page 4 of At His Mercy

Lucas drove Amanda and me home to our rundown apartment almost every day that week. Amanda is good at getting information out of people without raising suspicion. She carelessly tosses throwaway questions into our conversations. She learns more about Lucas in a week than I did our entire freshman year. For example, he doesn’t live anywhere near our apartment.

Wakehurst University is divided into sections by the neighborhoods that surround it. Downtown separates the main campus from the engineering campus in the residential areas. And Gamma frat is on a tree-lined street near the old red brick engineering school. The neighborhood is a weird mix of geek and jock, just like my neighborhood is a weird mix of scary and safe.

“So, I’ll pick you up later for the party.” Lucas watches me in the rearview. I insist that Amanda sits up front with him.

“You don’t have to.” I ignore Amanda’s pouting groan. “We have to study, so we’ll head over to the library by the engineering building before dark.”

He shrugs. “Maybe next time. I’ll stop and watch you practice.”

I shake my head as I slide out of Rover onto the pavement. “You hate girls’ lacrosse. There are no broken bones or blood.” I lift my hand before he opens his mouth. “No sexist quips, Lucas. It’s a legit sport.”

Amanda hurries up the stairs of the walkup to our apartment on the third floor. She has the door open as I jog up the steps. I know she’s excited to go to the party, but this desperation is anti-sexy. Once inside, I lean against her open bedroom door and watch her pull out lingerie from the shoebox that she hides under her bed along with her vibrators. She holds up a pink lace bra to her chest and then pulls out a purple satin one.

“Let me guess,” I say. “You aren’t leaving that party until you get laid.”

“Remember the guy I told you about in my Economics class?” She doesn’t notice me shaking my head. “He’s going to be there. And he’s straight and looking for a girlfriend.” Amanda looks at me and frowns. “You can’t hang with me tonight. Boys see your long blonde hair, and I disappear into the background, never to be noticed again.”

“You’re so cute.” I frown at her as if she’s crazy for not noticing.

“I don’t want to be cute,” she wails. “I want to be sexy.”

“Then you can be the sexy one then,” I tell her. “I’m not getting dressed up. My sweatshirt and my jeans are my party clothes this semester.”

“Good. Can I borrow your purple suede heels?”

Before we leave the apartment, I insist that Amanda wear a coat and her Converse. She has on a thin floral dress that shows off her stacked curves, and there is no way we are walking down these streets with her precariously balancing on those heels.

Near the engineering building, she finds a tree to hide her coat and sneakers before we head over to Gamma. We walk up the wooden steps onto the wrap-around porch crowded with rowdy guys drinking from red cups. Amanda worried for nothing. I’m totally ignored as some guy immediately latches onto her. It’s doubtful he’s the one she was looking for. But that other guy from Economics class is instantly forgotten as she licks her lip gloss with the tip of her tongue.

I float into the house in search of a cooler that must have water. The frats always serve water at parties, so the underage freshman can pretend they’re not sucking down beers. A few guys look in my direction, but my set mouth will stop any man’s shaky ego. I’m not hooking up tonight. This girl isn’t running to the clinic in the morning for a plan B pill.

I grab a hard cider from the cooler and walk through a crowded room where people are enjoying a football game on live streaming. Lucas is nowhere in sight, and though I’m curious about where he is, I’m also relieved to be left alone. I don’t feel up to friend-zoning him all night. I walk through the kitchen and wander out the back door into the yard. With all the people around, I feel safe enough to seek out some solitude.

The sky is lit in deep oranges and smoky purples as the sun descends behind a grove of oak trees. The natural serenity of September makes the stress ease off my brain as I head farther away from the house. The sound of laughter and shouting is soon replaced by the last calls of the birds, and I take in a deep breath of cooling air. My body eases the anxiety off my tight shoulders as I walk toward a massive oak. This is better than drinking and hooking up. My worries can’t rival nature’s soothing peace. I drop down to the ground underneath an oak that disappears into the dusky sky above my head.

I bring the can up to my lips to take a sip, but my hand stops. From the corner of my eye, I see a shadow separate from the darkness, and now, it’s approaching me. My body freezes as I brace myself against the tree. My legs tighten as I prepare to sprint, but the shadow towers over me.

My voice chokes when I recognize the shadow. “Oh my god,Elijah, is it you?”

The dark hoodie is pulled down over his eyes, but I can see the lower half of his face. Even though he’s older, I recognize the small scar on his square chin. I put it there by accident with a speeding baseball when we were kids. With his large rough hand, he pulls back the hood, and his intense blue gaze under dark brows pierces into me. I’m afraid.

Suddenly, Elijah leaps down almost on top of me. I start to shout, but his hand covers my mouth.

“So you remember me, Livi?” He watches me openly, no longer hiding just out of sight. It had to be him all those times. It must’ve been. I sensed his presence as strongly as I did when we were children and he’d try to sneak up on me in the tall grass. Slowly, Elijah lowers his hand, but I don’t scream. The only sound is my ragged breaths.

“Why are you here?” I ask stupidly. “Are you a student?”

My gaze locks on him, and his lips curl into a smirk in the fading light. My hand feels along the ground for something heavy or sharp. My fingers glide over a jagged rock, not entirely buried in the ground. I hold his gaze as I press my fingernails between it and the soil, trying to loosen it. Finally, it wobbles, and maybe if I move fast…

His hand catches mine in midair, and he squeezes my wrist until I let go of the rock. It lands with a dull thud, tumbling out of reach.

“You better let me go.” I look past him at the lights in the house. “I’ll scream. I swear I will.”

“Like you did last time?” he asks.

I bite my lip. Does he remember everything that happened? Does he still think about it like I do?

“Please just let me go?” I ask.

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