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Chaz’s eyes widen.
“Jesus, Stone! Please tell me you didn’t…God.What the fuck were you thinking?”
“Ididn’t,” I say. “Fuck. I mean, I didn’t mean to. The fucker OD’d. I just tried to buy him off. The shit I gave him wasn’t going to hurt him, just keep him happy enough to leave her the fuck alone. But now…”
I let out my breath in a shudder. I feel sick to my stomach. This isn’t who I am. It’s one thing to break some guy’s nose or to get a coach fired or the fucked up shit that I always pull. But murder?
“If this comes out—”
“It won’t,” I say and walk to my bed. I sink onto the mattress and push my hands into my hair. “He was an alcoholic, and enough people know it. It was a drug overdose. Her mother died like that too. They won’t dig any further.”
My sheets smell like her, and the scent envelops me, making me feel sick.
“How the hell did all this happen without me knowing you’re seeing her in the first place?” Chaz asks.
“I didn’t know I loved her, not until she decided to walk away.”
Chaz shakes his head. “It’s a fucking mess. I can’t believe this, but…she sounds like the perfect girl for you.”
I look up at him with a frown.
“I’m serious,” Chaz says. “You’re Mr. Rich and Coveted around here, but I know what they don’t know. You’re broken, Stone. I don’t mean it as condemnation, but you’re on a downward spiral that’s chipping away at who you are.”
His words slice through me as he talks. I didn’t realize Chaz knew me so well. I didn’t think anyone cares enough to notice shit like that.
“You need someone who gets you,” Chaz continues. “These preppy girls haven’t been through anything worse than a broken nail, and they’ll never get you. But if someone has seen the shit side of life and knows the taste of pain and anguish…she can help you, just like you can help her.”
I narrow my eyes at my friend. “What the fuck, man?”
Chaz chuckles. “I know. But seriously, someone had to say it.”
I sigh and nod. That’s fair. Chaz is the only person who can say stuff like that to me without me taking his head off.
“So, now what?” Chaz asks. “You’re going after her, right?”
I shake my head. “You heard me when I said what I did, right? She’s not going to want me to go after her. She doesn’t want anything to do with me.” I let out a groan. “I can’t blame her, either. She called me a monster.” I don’t think anything has ever hurt more.
“I think you should fight for her.”
I blink at Chaz. He has to be an idiot if he still doesn’t get it.
“She’s not going to let me. She’ll push back. She doesn’t need me. She doesn’t need anyone.”
“Just like you don’t need anyone?” Chaz asks.
I get what he’s saying. I’m getting over his psychoanalysis.
“I think this is different,” I say.
Chaz seems to know I’m done with this. He claps his hands against his thighs.
“I’m going to take off,” he says. “I know talking isn’t your thing, but if you want to, I’m here.”
“Thanks,” I say.
I know Chaz will be there. He’s always been there. I don’t know why. I’ve always been an ass to him, but he’s so fucking loyal. He’s here for me, and I’ll do something about that.
I’ll be nicer to him and be there for him too.
