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Russell gathered the pictures and set them aside. Then he went through the remaining boxes, but they were just papers and receipts.
By the time he had gone through all the boxes, Russell had made a list of the events and the years. Rafe put the boxes back in the closet, then went back in the kitchen and sat down, once again looking out the window at the windblown snow. “Thank you for your help with that.”
“You’re welcome,” Russell said. Then, apparently seeing a box they’d missed, he went over and brought it into the kitchen. He opened it and quietly pulled out more pictures. “Whoa,” he whispered.
“What is it?” Rafe leaned forward.
Russell continued looking through the pictures, his skin paling. “This may be some of what you’ve been looking for.” Russell’s voice grew rough, and he came around the table and sat next to Rafe. “I figured this was just another box of pictures.” He began setting them out on the table, and Rafe looked them over.
“That’s me at my high school graduation.” Rafe picked up the image to look closer. “It is. Where in the hell…?” Then he studied some of the others. “That one is me at one of my earliest rodeos. God, I remember that. It was in Texas. I was so new and green. But I made the eight, and I was so proud of my ride in the second round.” He smiled to himself as Russell handed him another picture. “That’s the buckle presentation at that same event. It was my first one. I still have it in my things.” He swallowed hard. “Uncle Mack was there?”
Russell laid out other pictures, and Rafe was in all of them, at various rodeos and events throughout his life. “That one was taken at last year’s finals where I finished third. Hell, he was in Las Vegas too.” Rafe could barely speak. “Why didn’t he come over and say something to me? He had gotten my cards and letters by then. He had to know….”
“Everything he wrote was returned. Maybe he didn’t know how you’d react to seeing him. I don’t know.” Russell held his hand. “But I think the important thing is that he was there. After all that time, even facing hatred from your parents, he still came.” Russell seemed choked up.
Rafe wiped his eyes and blinked, because cowboys didn’t fucking cry, though he felt like he was seconds away from it. “Fucking hell. I spent the last fourteen years out there alone. I made my own fucking way, and yet I had family so damned close and I didn’t even know about it. He was in the audience. Hell, he was at my graduation, and that was just days before everything changed for me. I remember Mom and Dad fighting when they got home that night. They sent me to my room and went at each other. Then, a few days later… well… everything went to shit.” God, he tried not to think about that time, but it seemed impossible not to. Every time he thought of the past, two dates jumped out at him—the first when he was twelve, and the other when he was eighteen. And the worst part about it was that both of those dates intersected with major changes in his life—and, it seemed, in Uncle’s Mack’s as well.
“Do you think your parents saw Mack in the audience? Could that have been why they were fighting?” Russell asked, squeezing his fingers. Rafe turned his hand over, and Russell slid his fingers between his.
Rafe didn’t know. He remembered his father being absolutely livid, and angry at his mother because she seemed less so. It had been weird at the time, but Rafe couldn’t remember the details. All he could recall were the feelings he’d had that day, especially his disappointment that his parents’ fighting had ruined what should have been a celebration. But had that been all there was to it? Hell, there were many things in his past that weren’t what they seemed. “I wish he’d come to see me.”
“I bet you do. But this answers one of my questions, and it should answer one for you too. No matter what happened, it seems your uncle never stopped loving you. And that squares with the man I knew your uncle to have been.” Russell smiled. “He was a lot like you—hard and tough on the outside, but with a big heart.”
Rafe liked to think so. He leaned against Russell as he looked at the pictures of Mack and Dale.
“Is there any way to know where or when these were taken?” Russell asked.
Rafe thought for a moment, then went back to his uncle’s bedroom and returned with the box of buckles. “Yeah, there might be. See the buckle Uncle Mack is holding? I bet he’d just won it.” Rafe checked through each of the boxes until he found two that looked like the one in the photo. “What do you think?”
“It’s that one,” Russell said, pointing to a buckle with a rider embossed on it. “They both have an outline of Texas.” The warmth in Russell’s eyes was almost overwhelming. “I knew Mack for a lot of years. Looking back, I sometimes think that he was using me as a substitute for you.”
“Do you really think that Uncle Mack would do that?” Rafe asked.
Russell thought for a moment, then shook his head. “Maybe not. But I always got the sense that he was missing someone—likely you.” He sighed softly. “The thing is, I thought I knew him, and yet I didn’t… not really.” Russell looked at the buckle and the picture of Mack and Dale. “Do you think Dale was a cowboy like Mack? If he rode in the rodeo, there should be records of participation. And heisdressed as a cowboy.”
“That he is. Maybe they started off as competitors and became friends. That happens a lot. I competed against a lot of guys, and some of them were my friends.”
“Like Duane?” Russell teased.
Rafe shook his head. “Duane isn’t capable of leaving it in the arena. Sure, there were guys I hoped to beat… and I did. But afterwards we’d have a drink together and talk about who would win next time. As for Duane, I considered him just another competitor, someone I measured myself against. But once the rodeo was over, that was it. But not for him. To him it was personal, as if being beaten by a gay man diminished who he was as a person. And he only got angrier and meaner over time.”
It was a damned shame, but after meeting Grant, Rafe had no doubt where Duane’s attitude had come from. But there was little he could do about it.
“Can I ask you something? Is your dad serious about leasing the land?” Rafe asked, changing the subject. This was getting way too heavy, and he needed to take an emotional breather.
“Yeah. He really is. Like I said, I’ve made some deals that will allow us to expand, but we can’t do that if we don’t get access to more grazing land. Dad is looking at purchasing some on the other side of the ranch, and we could get additional land in another valley, but it makes sense to try to get property adjacent to what we already have. Leasing your place would gain us a year or so until you decide what you want to do. It would also bring in some money for the ranch.” Russell scratched his head. “There might be another alternative, though. Maybe you could raise cattle for us.”
Rafe gaped. “Excuse me?”
“Hear me out. I’m just thinking out loud. Part of the expense of raising cattle is buying the calves, protecting them until they’re big enough, and then grazing them until it’s time to take them to market. I’m not quite sure how it would work, but maybe we could provide the herd, you would graze and care for the animals, and we’d pay you to do it… somehow. It would help us both get what we need.”
“Are you serious?” Rafe asked. “Where do you come from? I only met you a few weeks ago, and now it’s like… I don’t know…. First you and your men help with repairs, and now you’re offering a way to make the ranch financially viable?” He was speechless. “Do you try to help everyone this way?”
Russell stood behind him and slipped his hands down Rafe’s chest. “No, I don’t. But we need space to produce more cattle, and you have that space. So we should be able to come up with something that will help us both. We’re a pretty large operation, but we can sell more than we can produce at the moment. So if you produce for us and the herd is up to the standards we need, then we can bring you under our umbrella and you’ll get a better price. If you’re interested, you and Dad can get together and work things out between you.” He sat back, looking satisfied with himself.
“Damn, you’re like my cowboy guardian angel or something.” Rafe couldn’t help smiling. This was something he could move forward with, as long as Luther agreed. And once everything was settled, he’d be that much further ahead.
“I’ve been called many things over the years, but that’s a first.” Russell leaned closer, and Rafe kissed him. Then he got up and added some more wood to the fire, and they both hunkered down on the sofa.
