Page 20 of Crimson

In the back of my mind I admitted I would be a shit mother, and I never planned on having babies, but the choice should have been mine to make.

Mine. No one else's.

Instead, I was surrounded by the enemy, while the doctor, his face expressionless, violated me in the worst way I could ever have imagined.

Sick as fuck didn't even start to describe what this was. This was sicker than the very lowest of the seven hells. The hell reserved for the worst of the worst.

I squeezed my eyes shut and gave into the sense of nothingness the anaesthetic gave me. If I couldn't feel anything physically, then I would pretend I couldn't feel anything emotionally. I spent years mastering the art of not feeling anything. I had to shut it off when my parents died, so I could survive. When Helen Dagen tried to teach me I was worthless, I boxed up my feelings so I didn't give in to her. On the surface, it looked like I did. I was quiet, shy, even meek. I didn't put a toe out of line. I didn’t give her an excuse to beat me. That didn't mean she didn't do it anyway, when she got angry at something or someone, but the excuse never came from me. I hated myself at the time, but I did what I had to do to survive. I would do that now. I would feel nothing. I would be a block of ice. A whole fucking iceberg.

"There," Dagen said finally. "All done. That wasn't so bad, was it?"

I didn't give him the satisfaction of opening my eyes, or even twitching. I gave him nothing. Nothing at all.

While the doctor dabbed at my abdomen, Dagen whispered in my ear, "This is your second lesson, but not the last. This is just the beginning. When I am done with you, you will be broken. You will beg to hand over everything you own to me. There will be no bloody uprising, not this time. Just a melted bitch who will be grateful I let her be on her knees in front of me. Everything you have, your properties, your money, your power, your influence and your body, will be mine. Do you understand, bitch?"

I opened my eyes and looked into his filthy, repulsive face. "Don't. Call. Me. Bitch," I said coldly. I would freeze all of the hells over myself before any of that happened.

"I can see you're in denial," he said lightly. "Would you really prefer to see every white wolf in the state lying dead?"

Well, no, I wouldn't fucking prefer that. But I was also not going to let him break me. I would get out of here and make him regret ever having taken a breath.

I turned my face away from him. There was nothing he had to say that I wanted to hear.

"Get to work," he ordered. He walked away to speak to the doctor, leaving me to my thoughts until the witch stepped closer. He said something about healing me and felt a tingle of magic on my abdomen.

Evidently I wasn't going to be allowed the long recovery period from the operation. Whatever. I didn't particularly want to be vulnerable for weeks anyway.

My wrists and ankles were removed from the restraints and the sheets slid off my body.

"Get up and get dressed," Dagen ordered.

One of his men brought my clothes over and put them on the bed beside me. He didn't even try to hide the fact he was staring at my breasts as I struggled to sit up. I curled my lip at him, but he moved away without even a hint of embarrassment.

Silently, I added him to the list of people who would regret their behaviour towards me. Him and all the other men who watched me hop off the bed and dress.

All of them but Ben. His eyes were on my face. They were full of concern and anger. He clearly wanted to rip off a few heads as much as I did. He was supposed to keep me safe, but they stole that away from him and left him to crouch helplessly against the wall.

I would definitely let him kill a few black wolves before we were done. As many as he liked. I suspected that number might be high. Good. They deserved it. Every last one of them.

They fucked with the wrong people. They chose the wrong side. I would fuck back so hard, they would beg to be killed.

I buttoned up my blouse and tried not to look over at the kidney dish which sat on top of the surgical trolley. Truthfully, I couldn't tell by looking, what the doctor took. Enough, I guessed. I wasn't going to ask. The specifics didn't matter, it wasn't like they could put it back in now anyway.

"That looks tasty, wouldn't you say?" Dagen said lightly.

"You're a twisted son of an omega aren't you?" I asked. That was pretty much the lowest thing a wolf could be.

The comment obviously pissed him off, but he laughed. "It's good to see the doctor didn't take your sense of humour. I look forward to breaking that, too."

I might be poking the hornet's nest, but I said, "You can take my freedom, but you can never take my sense of humour. Especially around a joke like you."

Thanks to the anaesthetic, I barely felt the slap across my face. I staggered a couple of steps back before I was caught by Ben, who had just been released from his restraints.

"You are a slower learner, than I gave you credit for," Dagen said derisively. "Fortunately, I like a challenge. The more they fight, the more fun they are to break. Take them back to their room."

I took a step towards the door.

"Wait." Dagen waved at two of his men. "Shift."

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