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“I’m really not. I want it over with.”
Luna looked at me with her eyebrows raised. “Over is still a solution, one of many. And you haveso manychoices here. But you can’t have your cake and eat it too. Some are fantasy, some are realistic, and some will destroy you. Don’t let your fears and daydreams get in the way of what you’re truly capable of.”
I didn’t havethatmany choices. Stay with Hunter and live the lie, or divorce him and let him deal with the fallout, since the entire world knew apparently already knew about our mistake.
“You’re questioning me.” Luna didn’t sound upset.
“I’m not. The cards, maybe.”
She smiled. “You don’thaveto listen, but try not to write it all off too quickly.” She pointed to the next one, an Eight of Coins, also upside down. “You can still influence the situation. You haven’t lost control.”
That was the most comforting thing I’d heard today. “Okay…?”
“This is your chance to master something you’re already good at, but it’s going to take work, and it’s going to hurt. Don’t settle. Don’t let yourself get dragged into the unfulfilling. Push past the pain points, and you’ll be happier and stronger for it.”
That just sounded like smart life advice. Or painful life advice. Then again, I was a bit of a masochist.
“What’s the last one?” I asked. Besides an inverted Knight of Swords.
Luna sighed and tapped the card lightly with one fingernail. “Probably Ramsey.”
That wasn’t fair. “I have to be a fool and he gets to be a knight?”
“I already told you The Fool isn’t bad. This though… has the potential to be destructive.” Her voice got quiet toward the end.
I hated the sound of that. “You said there were no bad answers.”
“I said it isn’t as bad as it looks. Things can still go wrong if you let them. But this is all about possibility and potential. Your knight is committed to the truth. His truth. He’s focused. Driven. He’ll do anything to support his own agenda, but he doesn’t have a strategy, and he can be rigid and inflexible.”
“That doesn’t sound like Ramsey at all,” I couldn’t help my sarcasm.
Luna met my gaze. “You can still influence things. You haven’t lost control.”
“But it’s going to hurt.” I’d heard everything she said.
“Probably. But you’ll come out the other side better for it.”
That other side was far enough away that I wasn’t comforted.
Seventeen
Now that I was alone, I needed to think. Clear my head. I walked the few blocks to where Hunter was. Nothing had changed by the time I arrived; go figure.
As I approached I saw Hunter at the back of the dining room, on his phone, tablet set up in front of him. Was it wrong to be jealous that he’d found time to work? Maybe I should be grateful I’d married such an efficient man.
I wanted to roll my eyes at myself.
When I walked inside, he looked up. Like I’d flipped a switch, he set his phone down, and packed up his things as I approached. When I reached the table, he was on his feet, greeting me with a warmHey,and a long, sweet kiss that was a heartbeat too long and too short both at the same time.
“I thought you were going to call me.” He still sounded like the Hunter I knew. Kind. Polite.
“I needed to think.”
“Did it help?”
I shook my head.
“Do you want coffee? Anything.” He asked.
