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Chapter Two
Analise
My dress, my stepmother’s dress, suffocated me. She was slimmer than me, but due to the laced dirndl-bodice, I was able to draw shallow breaths and, as she pointed out, it wouldn’t be for long. I could see them gathering for the ceremony outside my window, in the clearing where we usually held pack feasts and celebrated the turn of the seasons. Or had, when Mom was alive. Somehow, since she passed, the joy had gone out of not just our family but the whole pack. Oh, we gathered for the important holidays, but without Mom to make the arrangements and plan all the food and decorations, to stir the spirit of the pack, it always fell flat.
Cyndra, who even now was directing the final touches to my coiffure and fluffing the ridiculous poufy veil, just didn’t have what it took to be a true pack mother. And she couldn’t hide her joy, didn’t even try to hide her elation, at my leaving. She even smiled at my reflection in the mirror. “You look very pretty, Analise. But you have to smile.” She pinched my cheeks. I didn’t think she’d ever touched me before in any way, and now that she was getting rid of me, it was all pats on the shoulder and stroking of hair.
I shuddered. Her touch was worse than the scratchy, stiff fabric of her ugly wedding dress.
“Are you cold?” Her face appeared next to mine in the mirror again. “It’s a nice day. Maybe you’re a little nervous?” She lifted the curls from my shoulders and laid them down again, drawing one forward to dangle over the low-cut neckline, tickling the top curve of my breast. Blonde curls, like Mom’s. “That’s better, isn’t it?”
Nothing could be better. As she turned to talk to one of the other women, I studied my reflection in the vanity mirror. My mother’s vanity. When my father brought Cyndra home, I went to his room and dragged the heavy antique piece out and down the hallway to my room. It took me a long time, but it still held so many of Mom’s things, and so many memories. I couldn’t bear the idea of the strange woman my father was already calling “your new mother” using her perfume or wearing her jewelry. It wasn’t valuable; anything of worth was in the safe and belonged to the pack, but the beads and baubles Mom let me drape myself with meant more to me than the largest ruby locked away for safekeeping.
I rarely wore makeup at all, but when I did, it didn’t look like this. Foundation caked on, fingerprints in the powder blush from the cheek pinching. Blue eyeshadow that clashed with my green eyes. And the coral lipstick. I had Mom’s hair and eye color but Dad’s olive skin. None of this garish makeup worked with any of that. Why hadn’t they used my cosmetics? But what difference did it make?
The chatter grew louder behind me. And below me. My little brother, Danny, was there, helping someone carry chairs to set up in rows. At the front, an archway was decked with white flowers and green fern fronds. It was rather pretty, or would be if the purpose wasn’t so awful. Danny would be the next alpha here. He’d have no challengers from within the pack, and, since Cyndra had not managed to produce any children of her own, he’d have no brothers who wanted his spot. Unless someone came to challenge from elsewhere, he’d be secure. And a stranger challenging was a rarity.
But without me. My throat swelled until I could barely swallow. My father hadn’t waited long to replace Mom, but Cyndra had little interest in Danny, and I’d been more his mother than she ever had. Of course, there’d been a nanny/wet nurse when he was very small, but he’d run to me with his boo-boos and woes. And now I was being sent away from him to I didn’t even know where.
I hadn’t asked.
It didn’t matter.
Because I had zero intention of going there. I just didn’t know how I would stop it from happening. Yet. I stood up, turning away from the mirror and the fear in the eyes of the girl looking back at me. I had no time for fear. I might only have one chance to stop the mating, and I couldn’t let emotion ruin that.
“They’re almost ready for you.” Cyndra paced around me, searching for imperfections, straightening the skirt, and yanking the bodice a little higher. “You’re almost spilling out.”
“I could change.”Please let me change. Into anything else but the dress you wore when you ruined what was left of our family.
“Oh no, you have nothing else suitable.”
“I might have had a chance to get my own dress, if anyone had seen fit to let me know about the ceremony.”
“Your father thought it best to surprise you. It’s your birthday gift.” She scrunched my curls and let them fall again. “I guess you’ll do.”
“This is my gift.” I don’t know why it surprised me. Maybe that he considered it one? He hadn’t remembered my birthday in years. No gifts, no cake, not even an acknowledgement of the day. “Usually a gift is something you want.” Bitterness colored my tones, but I reeled it back before it gained control of me and gave away my plan. Well, lack of plan, but I had a goal. “Let’s just get this over with.”
“You haven’t even asked who you’re mating.” Oh, she noticed that?
“Since nobody cared to ask me if I wanted the union, my approval is not needed. I suppose he wouldn’t give me to someone who’ll beat me or anything.” Although, I wasn’t as sure of that today as I would have been before this surprise “gift.”
“Beat you!” She reeled back. “Certainly not. Your mate is grateful for this alliance. He would not do something to upset your father.”
I mentioned neglect on my father’s part? When a woman mated, her fate lay in her mate’s hands. Even the alpha did not interfere in day-to-day domestic issues. Oh, he wouldn’t be allowed to kill her or maim her without some sort of repercussions, but I wouldn’t be kicking around where my father could see me, so he’d never even know if my mate was mean to me.
The pack women came close again, fussing with the veil and the dress, and I shrugged them away. “Let’s go. My mate has accepted me for the alliance, too, and as you pointed out, Cyndra…” I never had called her Mother. Neither did Danny. “As you so kindly pointed out, I could be wearing a burlap sack and have mud in my hair, and he wouldn’t call off the ceremony.”
“If you did,” she spat, “you’d shame your father and the pack and me. So don’t be thinking about rolling in any mud puddles on the way down the aisle.”
I stepped over to the window again. “Since it hasn’t rained in days, there are no convenient puddles. But if we don’t get this moving, I’m going to throw up. And that’s probably going to stain your lovely dress.”
“Oh no! Come on, ladies. Janice, you go ahead and tell the alpha we’re ready.”
Janice, the one I could thank for the hideous makeup, scooted out into the hall, lifting her skirts as if to keep them clean, although the hardwood floor and scattered rugs were all as immaculate as the maids could keep them.
After a few moments, Cyndra stepped out as well, clutching my arm as if I might try to escape. Her remaining minions followed. “Now, when we get outside, your father will be waiting to escort you to your mate. I want you to smile as if the entire mating was something you’ve dreamed about since you first met Rod. It’s a—”
“Rod? From Elder Ridge pack? No.” Despite the fact I’d never intended to go through with it anyway, I dug my heels in and stopped the parade on the second-floor landing. “Are you kidding me? My father is trying to give me to Rod?” Not only had he been the mean kid at all pack gatherings with the Elder Ridges, his father had made a move on me on my sixteenth birthday.
“Not trying, Analise.” Her smile had lost its happiness, replaced with grim determination. “He’s succeeded. You will live in a very nice house and have lots of servants, just like here. You’ll live the life you’re used to.”
Sure, it would be a party living there. All happiness and joy. Being a good little female while my father-in-law raped me. And my mate as well because there would be no other way he’d ever get between my legs. I bit back all the words I wanted to spew at them. Because there was no point whatsoever. I had only one goal, and in order to achieve it, I would need to at least pretend to be resigned to my fate. So I allowed Cyndra to lead me down the stairs.
If my father waited outside, ready to accept the handoff of me from my stepmother, I had to make my move before that happened. Cyndra might think she had a firm grip on me, but I was stronger than her. I was not stronger than my father. Once he had hold of me, my only hope was to beg and plead and cry because he would not be letting go.
So, I moved down the stairs next to Cyndra, smiling at the servants who stood to watch. They all liked me because I treated them far better than certain others, so I hoped when the time came, they would not do anything to forward my father’s cause.
We came to the bottom few steps, and the front door was opening when I made my move. I kicked off one of the ridiculous high-heeled shoes they’d put on me and swept my leg behind Cyndra’s knees. Then, as she released me and grabbed for the banister, I let the other shoe fly and followed it to the foyer. Instead of going left toward the now-opening front door, I raced to the right, straight down the hallway past the various public rooms.
Not one servant moved, and, when I entered the kitchen, one of the cooks opened the back door for me. I hoped they wouldn’t be in trouble for helping or at least, not hindering me.
