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“Fuck,” Gray muttered.
“I managed to get the drop on Shaw but he got a shot off before I could get out of there.”
Gray’s fingers automatically sought out the scar on Luke’s side – the one he had helped stitch up.
“I barely had time to get back to my place to get some stuff before the MPs – Military Police - showed up. I didn’t know how many other members of my team were in on it with Shaw so I took off. I’d seen the story about Rhys a few days earlier and I knew he was the only one I could trust.”
“And then you saw that he was a cop again.”
“He’d have no choice but to turn me in,” Luke said quietly.
Gray managed to keep his touch soothing but inside he was burning with frustration and helplessness. “Why did he do this?”
Luke seemed to know what Gray was asking because he said, “The terrorist we were looking for was on the top of the FBI’s Most Wanted Terrorists list – he was their lead suspect in that New Year’s day bombing in New York.”
“I remember that – three people died,” Gray murmured.
“Shaw was talking about how bagging him would launch his career. He had all these plans to run for political office when his enlistment ended later this year – the Senate I think. Turned out the woman and kids he killed weren’t even related to the guy we were looking for.”
“You’re the only witness…” Gray said.
“As far as I know. I don’t know how many of the other members of my unit knew what Shaw was up to. Barnes was young and impressionable so I keep hoping he was the only one, but I just don’t know,” Luke said tiredly.
Gray held Luke for a moment longer and then gently rolled him onto his back and settled on top of him. “I’m sorry, Luke. I know how much they meant to you.”
“They were all I had.”
“Not all,” Gray whispered as he leaned down and kissed Luke. He pulled back enough so his eyes could connect with Luke’s. “I meant what I said last night.”
Luke tensed beneath him.
“I don’t expect you to say it back but I don’t want you to think I just said it in the heat of the moment.”
Luke’s hand came up to cup his cheek. “You’ve been through a lot these past few weeks, Gray. It’s only natural for you to get attached to me…”
Gray tried to ignore the sting of pain that went through him at Luke’s words. “I haven’t been sure of anything since the day the doctor told me the life I’d been living was over. I’m sure of this,” Gray said firmly as he brushed a soft kiss over Luke’s lips.
“I love everything you did for me but that’s not why I love you.” He kissed Luke again but this time it lasted much longer and he could feel Luke’s body responding. Gray skimmed his fingers down over Luke’s face and neck and then stopped just over his heart. “I’ve based my entire career on being able to find the right words, but I’m so scared right now that nothing I say will make you believe me,” Gray whispered.
Luke’s hand wrapped around the back of his neck and pulled him down until their lips were nearly touching. “I believe you, Gray. No one’s ever said those words to me,” Luke admitted before tightening his grip. “No one,” he repeated firmly.
Gray wanted so badly to tell Luke he’d spend the rest of their lives telling him he loved him but the idea of Luke shooting down the idea of them having a future together was too painful to deal with so Gray settled his mouth on Luke’s instead and hoped Luke would feel and taste everything he wasn’t able to put into words.
* * *
Luke sank farther into the bedding as Gray’s mouth dotted his jaw with soft kisses. He was still reeling from Gray’s admission and while he hadn’t let himself believe the words last night after Gray had said them, he believed them now. It was written all over Gray’s face and in every touch, every caress. Emotion clogged Luke’s throat as Gray worshipped him but when Gray sucked him deep into his mouth, Luke lost the ability to think. The sensual torture went on and on as Gray took him to the brink over and over again. Luke’s whole body felt hot and itchy and overly sensitive and he couldn’t stop himself from whispering, “Gray, please.”
But instead of sending him over the edge, Gray released him and worked his way up Luke’s body and sought out Luke’s lips. A thrill shot through Luke when he felt Gray’s erection rubbing against his.
“Make love to me, Luke,” Gray said.
Luke could only manage a nod and he carefully rolled Gray onto his back. Gray made a move for the nightstand drawer but Luke stopped him and made sure Gray was focused on him. “I do, you know,” he said quietly. “Love you,” he added at Gray’s questioning look.
Joy lit up Gray’s face and Luke kissed him softly. Gray reached to pull a condom and lube from the nightstand and Luke’s whole body seized up. “I’ve never…I don’t want to hurt you,” he admitted.
“You won’t,” Gray reassured him. “Just go slow, okay? It’s been a while for me.”
Luke nodded and then took the condom and placed it farther down the bed. His fingers shook as Gray squeezed some lube on them. He watched as Gray pulled his legs up and apart and the sight of Gray’s opening had his dick jerking hard against his abdomen. As much as he wanted to spend time just exploring Gray, Luke knew he was already at his limit so he swiped some of the lube over the fluttering hole and then began to work one finger inside his lover. Whimpers of pleasure began falling from Gray’s lips as his body sucked Luke’s finger in. He massaged Gray’s inner walls a bit before pulling his finger out and carefully adding a second. As he waited for Gray’s body to adjust, his eyes sought out Gray’s and the stark beauty in the other man’s expression had Luke shifting so that he could kiss him.
