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“Hi Malia, how are you today?” My therapist’s face is reassuring and encouraging on my laptop screen.
More like handsome and gorgeous.
I might have a harmless little crush on him, which is insane because he’s my therapist and I’m already crushing on two other guys.
Two? More like three!
Nope, not going there.
“Erm, okay. I guess. I think. I went out today.”
“You did? Why don’t you tell me about that?”
God, his voice makes everything inside me simultaneously clench and want to release. I’ve always been pretty close-lipped with my therapists in the past, but something about Dr. Jones just makes me want to spill all my secrets. And it’s not just his pretty face.
I take a deep breath and look into his bright green eyes for reassurance. He stares back with infinite patience and understanding, even as my heart rate doubles.
“This morning a guy knocked on my door and asked me to tutor him. I didn’t want to because I don’t think I’m in a fit state to tutor anyone but he was pretty persistent and wouldn’t take no for an answer.”
“I see. Did you try any of the assertion strategies we spoke about last time?”
“I did. I think. But, I don’t know…maybe I didn’t really want to say no to him? I like helping people and he seemed nice. But it was almost automatic to say no when he asked.”
“Because you’re used to pushing people away?”
“Maybe. But it was like the word was out of my mouth before my brain even heard the question and then I didn’t know how to take it back. That sounds crazy, right?”
“I’ve told you before, ‘crazy’ is not a term I like to apply to any situation, feeling or—”
“Emotion. I know. I remember. But it is weird.”
“Weird is also relative. Let’s not digress. What happened next?”
“I agreed to tutor him and he tried to get me to go to class with him. When I said no, he pulled me into the corridor and the door slammed shut. Maintenance weren’t on shift to let me in so he carried me to class.”
“Carried you?”
“Yeah. And he gave me his hoodie to wear.”
“How did it make you feel?”
“It was…okay I guess. I didn’t mind it as much as I thought I would. His hoodie was pretty big and gave me comfort. It smelled nice. And when he touched me, I felt calm.”
“He touched you?”
“He put his arm on my leg in class. It felt nice.”
“I see. And this boy’s a stranger, yes?”
“Yeah.”
“But you didn’t mind him touching you?”
“No.”
“Well that sounds like excellent progress, Malia.”
“I guess it was, until I freaked out.”
