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“What happened?” Axel asks guardedly.
My attention is snatched from the conversation by the box before me. My hands have opened the box of their own accord and inside, nestled on a bed of black tissue paper, lies a silver urn.
My mother’s ashes.
She wanted to be buried.
My chair scrapes noisily across the fancy wooden flooring as I stumble to my feet before I know I’ve even moved.
“What is it?”
“What’s in the box?”
“Peony?”
“E-excuse me!” I gasp before turning and bolting from the room. Unshed tears blur my vision but I manage to fumble my way to the toilet. I heave into the toilet bowl, bringing up bile until I have nothing left and my head is clammy. With shaking hands, I flush and stagger to the sink to wash my hands and splash my face. I work on autopilot to rinse my mouth out too.
Then I take five. Or maybe it’s ten or fifteen, or even an hour…I don’t know. I just know that it feels like a lifetime before I stop trembling enough to actually be able to move. I could use a drink right now.
I’m blindsided by this whole clusterfuck of an evening. I never expected The General to turn up, let alone all the other stuff, and—
I realise I left my bag on the table…with my mum.
Fuck. I’m going to cry.
I can’t cry.
My hands curl into fists and smash into the mirror before me. It hurts like a mother fucker but it stops my tears from falling.
I. Won’t. Cry.
Not anymore.
I can’t go back in there. I could sneak out instead, head back to my room and climb through the window. Maybe Kaiden will pick up my bag and drop it off tomorrow. I don’t even have my phone to text him.
Sighing, I exit the toilets and pull the heels from my feet. I feel overdressed and ridiculous. Shame and humiliation make my sticky skin overheat and I just want out of these stupid clothes.
“There you are.” The General’s voice makes me want to turn tail and run but he grabs me before I can move. “You know, you shouldn’t run off like that. It’s rude, and it isn’t safe.”
“Let go of me.” I cringe at how weak I sound. How weak I am. I could scream. Make a scene. Better to be caught by The General out in the open than in an enclosed bathroom with a lock on the door…
All of those self-defence classes I took last year have fled my mind. Though, wasn’t the number one rule if you can run, run? Stupid. Why didn’t I run? Why didn’t I check the coast was clear before leaving the bathroom?
Because a year of respite from The General made me complacent, or because I know that whatever I do, I’ll never be a match for him.
It all seems so pointless now. If The General came here just to fuck with me, he’s succeeded. If he’s here to reclaim me, no amount of self defence will save me. History has proven that not even The Holy Trinity themselves can protect me from The General and his friends.
“Odile? What’s going on here?” Axel’s icy voice washes over me, a soothing balm to my frayed and burnt-out nerves.
“Nothing. I’m just checking on your little flower girl. I found her alone out here after her outburst at dinner and I was making sure she’s alright.”
“Odile?” Axel probes, his tone suspicious. I can’t bring myself to lie, or to speak the truth either. Tonight has wiped me out and even though I can’t face a confrontation with Axel right now – couldn’t bear to deal with his questions and accusations – I’d still rather he was here than leaving me alone with The General.
I force out a jerky lift of my shoulder, but I can’t meet his eye.
“You shouldn’t be touching her,” Axel warns The General, who laughs.
In the blink of an eye Axel has pulled his gun on The General and the dozen bodyguards that I never even knew existed but who were surrounding the room have theirs trained on Axel too. The bodyguards I understand, but why is Axel bringing a gun to a family dinner?
