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We continue to eat in silence, and although it’s still strained, it feels less hostile now. If I can just get through the dessert course, I’ll start talking.
“Done?” Ace asks, appearing at the door once more.
“It was delicious, thank you,” Raven beams at him. “Do I get ice cream now?” He chuckles and leaves with the empty plates to go fetch it. I surreptitiously check to make sure all the steak knives have gone out to the kitchen with him too.
I want to bang my fists on the table and demand that she gives me her attention. That it’s my date, and that if anyone is having ice cream, it’ll be me, eating it off her naked body when I lay her out on the table like a buffet. But I know what has to come after the final course, and so I keep my mouth shut and say nothing.
We eat our ice cream in awkward silence. It’s not her fault, it’s me. I sigh.
“Are you okay?” Raven asks me tentatively.
“No.”
“Okay, it’s just, the first thing you said when I walked in was ‘we need to talk’ and you’ve not said a word to me all night.”
“I know.”
“I don’t understand.”
“We do need to talk. I just wanted to have a final nice meal with you.”
“Before what, exactly?”
“Before you hate me.”
“Why would I hate you?” I hear the anxiety in her tone and internally I cringe. I’m going about this all wrong – which I tell her.
“Going about what all wrong, Bax? You’re starting to scare me…”
“Okay.” I huff out on a sigh again. “This is really hard to know where to start, to figure out what I can tell you—”
“Just the truth please.”
I nod. I can do that. I don’t have to give the whole truth. Though I won’t lie to her, what I mean is, I don’t have to tell her everything.
You should tell her about Casey and Beth, a small voice in the back of my mind says. I quickly shut that down. Not my story to tell. Only, it kind of is, isn’t it?
No. I should stick to the facts that are relevant to our situation. Raven can have a glimpse into my past, and if by some small miracle she doesn’t run away screaming, I can slowly open up and spill a few more secrets.
“Back when we first met—”
“I don’t want a trip down memory lane. I want to know what the hell happened last night!”
“Would you believe me if I said Ace and I got a bit carried away with sparring last night?” I ask hopefully with a half smile. She levels me with a stare that could melt my bones. It makes my dick hard. “Okay, okay! But trust me when I say it’s all connected.”
“Fine. Talk.”
I love that she speaks to me with no fear. People have lost their tongues for speaking to me like that. I can’t help but wonder if she knew what I’m capable of, what I’ve done, if she’d still treat me the same. Probably. She’s fucking badass, even if it’s been in hibernation for a while. I can’t fight the grin on my face.
“Okay so when we first met I was in my final year at university.”
“I remember. Knot something or other. Posh toff place.”
“Something like that. It’s actually more of a private school and university for...troubled teens.”
She raises an eyebrow and smirks at me.
“You? Troubled? Who’d have thought it?”
