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Chapter Thirty-Three
Raven
“Sorry,” I whisper to Thorn who has somehow ended up with Nix on his lap for the entire flight. She's fast asleep in his arms and must be one hell of a dead weight. I don’t miss her sleeping on me at all.
“It’s fine. I love it,” he whispers back and I know he means it. He smiles easily at me, more relaxed than I’ve seen him in ages. This holiday has been good for all of us, Lizzie drama aside.
I didn’t see Lizzie again at the hospital, even though I went back every day. Eventually I asked the other nurse that had looked after Phoenix and she explained that ‘Beth’ was an agency nurse and her run of shifts at their particular hospital had just finished. And no, they didn’t know if or when she’d be back.
I was devastated. We dealt with things so badly at the hospital and I wanted the opportunity to put things right, to explain. I wouldn’t push for a relationship with her if she didn’t want one, but I did want the chance to apologise. I made the guys tell me exactly what happened once we got back to the hotel, and I read them the riot act over their behaviour. Not that I’m overly proud of my own either.
It has left me feeling like I’ve lost her all over again. I don’t feel like I can reach out to our parents to tell them either. We haven’t spoken in years, more or less since I decided to enrol at West Prep – although things were rocky before that – and I feel it would be too weird to call them up out of the blue. I mean, what would I say? ‘Hi, it’s your living daughter here. The one with the child. The granddaughter you never met. Well I have some news! You know your other daughter, the one that you’ve been grieving over for more than half a decade? Well, she’s actually alive but has no idea who any of us are. Surprise!’
Yeah, I don’t think so.
I guess if I could get in touch with Lizzie myself I could tell her she has family out there. Maybe even give her their contact details and then put the ball in her court if she wants to reach out to them. But I don’t know. This helpless, hopeless feeling in my chest makes me think I’ll never see her again. I had one shot – one I didn’t even know about – and I blew it.
“Can you take her for a minute?” Thorn whispers, shifting in his seat. “I really need the loo but I can put her in her seat if she’s too heavy.”
“Of course I’ll have her,” I reply, holding out my arms. The guys are always offering to carry Nix around, put her to bed, take her places. And while it’s super sweet, I think they forget that I managed on my own before they came along.
He passes me my baby and she grumbles in her sleep, clearly aware even in her sleep that Thorn is no longer nearby, and clearly unhappy about it. I smile and kiss the top of her head.
Since the hospital visit, Thorn and Phoenix have been inseparable. She worships him and thinks he’s the ‘bravest boy ever’ because he dived to save her. It’s really sweet. They’re trouble together though. Thorn has decided that now she’s approaching her birthday, she’s old enough to learn all about jokes and pranks.
So the last few days of our holiday were fraught with the rest of us never knowing what was waiting for us just around the corner. Rebel was super mad last night. He got straight into bed without checking for pranks and found his bed and pillow filled with crushed cornflakes. His bellows of rage woke Phoenix, who collapsed into a fit of giggles and a tickle war ensued. It took me ages to get her back to bed, even though we had to be up super early for the flight home today.
“Hey,” Rebel says, flopping down into the seat Thorn just vacated. “Want me to take her?”
“No, I’m fine.” I shake my head and hold back a smile. “I don’t trust you not to prank her in retaliation for last night.”
He laughs.
“Actually I’ve been thinking about that, and I think I actually want revenge on Thorn. I have an idea…”
He launches into some elaborate plan that I’m only half listening to – okay, total lie, I’m not listening at all. I have my AirPods in and I’m watching a film on my iPad but he’s oblivious and happy so it’s all good. Also, if he’s planning to wage war on Thorn with Nix’s help, it’s probably best I don’t know. At least Ace, Jax and Baxter are responsible parents. Although, with the amount of sugar Ace lets her have, maybe I need to move him to the naughty list.
Thorn returns, kicks Reb out of his seat, and takes Phoenix from my arms without a word. He cradles her to his chest and she snuggles in. I wonder if, even in sleep, she can recognise his summer sunshine beachy scent. I check my watch and see I’ve got just enough time left to finish the film before we land, so I sit back and relax.
***
“Wanna sleep in my room tonight?” A seductive voice murmurs low in my ear the second we walk through the door. It’s funny how quickly I’ve come to think of this place as home but with Nix and the guys here, there’s nothing more I could want.
“Not really, no,” I say apologetically to Rebel. He pouts.
“Awww, why not?”
“Because we’re home and the only thing I want to do, besides get started on the mountain of ironing, is sleep in my own bed.”
He opens his mouth to suggest something so I quickly add, “Alone.”
He pouts even more.
“That’s no fun.”
“Maybe not, but it’s what I’ve been dreaming of since the moment we left.”
“Didn't you like the holiday?”
