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Chapter Thirty-Three
Rebel
Last night was fucking amazing; today is the happiest I’ve woken up in years. I can’t believe that it’s possible to feel this good without having sex, but I guess all I ever needed was the reassurance that there was still a chance with Raven. Okay, so she might not have declared her undying love for me, and she may have declared feelings for four other guys, but I’m okay with that. Really. I need to have her in my life, no matter the circumstances.
Falling to sleep alongside Raven on the sofa was perfect. If a little cramped. Hence why I’m up first this morning and making breakfast for everyone. I’ll leave the hot chocolate to Thorn though.
Whilst I’m waiting for the hash browns to cook, I wander around the kitchen. It’s sleek and modern, equipped with all the mod cons. It’s the least homely room in the house, almost kind of clinical, but the brightly coloured calendar on the fridge door catches my eye. I move over to it and smile at what can only be Phoenix’s nursery artwork as the monthly image. I flick through it absentmindedly, enjoying the warm sensation that’s created in my chest by looking at anything to do with Phoenix. I wonder if Raven has our birthdays written on the calendar? Of course she won’t, but I could add them. I grab a pen and start to flick through but stop on February when something catches my eye.
There, the first week in February, it says ‘Phoenix’s Birthday’ on the 4th. The entry is surrounded by sparkly, glittery star and unicorn stickers. It makes me smile even wider. It’s certainly eye-catching, and totally Phoenix. I wonder if she decorated it herself once Raven wrote it in.
Only…hang on…didn’t Raven say that Phoenix had just turned three?
I must be mistaken. Yeah, must have misheard.
I finish off the breakfast and just as I’m about to go wake everyone up, they start to appear one by one. It’s the bacon. It always works. I swear the smell of cooking bacon could turn a vegetarian to the dark side. I idly wonder if it would work as a car air freshener scent. I consider googling, but decide I better not; I’d constantly be hungry with that scent driving me insane all day long.
“What’s up, dude?” Thorn comes into the room, giving me a high five. “Smells great. Thanks for making this.”
“Left the hot chocolate for you, can you?”
“On it, dude.”
Everyone else files into the room, crowds around the island and starts piling their plates high. I’m not the best cook, but I do make a mean breakfast, and I could get used to this. Cooking for a big family. I kinda miss that Phoenix isn’t around right now to join in the fun and banter.
Which reminds me-
“Hey Raven, it says on the calendar that it’s Phoenix’s birthday in February?” It comes out as a confused question because, well, that would make her nearly four, not just three.
Weirdest thing is that Raven freezes. She completely clams up and stares at me like a deer in the headlights. I thought there would be a simple explanation, but Raven's reaction is so out of sorts that I can’t help but wonder what’s going on.
“I...err...it’s funny, it’s actually another Phoenix…at Phoenix’s nursery,” she stammers, without meeting my eye.
“There’s two Phoenixes?” I frown, incredulous. What are the chances? It’s a pretty unusual name, isn’t it?
“Raven-” Baxter’s tone is a warning, but I don’t get why. He shakes his head at her. “It’s time.”
Huh?
“What? What’s time? Time for what?” Thorn asks, head whipping back and forth between them. My thoughts exactly.
What’s going on?
Raven looks like she’s going to puke. Or run. I move to the doorway to the kitchen, blocking her off. I’ve had what feels like a lifetime of her running from me, and so I’m not about to take anymore chances and risk losing her again.
“What’s going on, Rae?” I ask gently. I hate the fear on her face. I want to wipe it away and take back my question. I don’t want to hurt her. Ever.
“Phoenix is older than she claimed. What do you think it means?” Jax spits contemptuously.
Why is he so hostile all of a sudden? I get that there was a funny atmosphere between them last night - no idea why - but obviously things weren’t too bad if she was happy for him to stay the night too.
I whirl around and stare at Raven in disbelief. What is Jax saying?
“What’s going on?” I ask reluctantly. I don’t want to know. Dread causes my stomach to sink and my heart rate to spike.
“Rebel, please…” she implores me with wide tortured eyes. I want to go to her, scoop her up into my arms, cradle her to my chest and kiss that pain away. But I don’t; I don’t move a muscle. Somehow, I’ve become frozen to the spot.
“Raven, if you want this to work you have to come clean,” Baxter pushes. I flick him an angry glare. Why is he pushing this? Can’t he see that she’s uncomfortable?
