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Chapter Thirty-Two
Raven
It’s today; the day I have to return to the house. Fuck, I’m so nervous, I feel sick. I thought I’d be okay and that I could put it out of my mind, but it’s always been there on the periphery and now I have to face my fears. I have a couple more days to settle in before Phoenix comes back, which was Baxter’s idea. Pretty smart on his part, I think. All of the guys are going to be there and I understand that Jax has taken care of security and Rebel has hopefully made some changes that will make me feel more comfortable with being there. I’ve asked them to stay tonight - there’s room - because I’m not quite ready to be alone.
“You ready?” Baxter asks me, grabbing up the duffle bag that has my stuff in it. After the first day wearing Bax’s clothes, mine suddenly started magically appearing. I didn’t ask how he was getting them; he certainly wasn’t leaving my side.
“If I have to be,” I reply with a rueful smile. I’m not ready, but I do have to be.
“Everything will be fine, I promise.”
I nod once and walk past him, out into the hotel hallway, where I stride purposefully towards the stairs. I’m not taking the lift - never did get over that phobia - but now I’m committed, I just want to get it over and done with as soon as possible. Baxter follows behind me, without complaint, as we take the stairs down to the basement parking.
He doesn’t try to take my hand, or make things weird between us, but we haven’t kissed again since last night, though he did sleep a lot closer to me on the sofa bed and was a bit more cuddly. Ha! Baxter and cuddly were not words I thought I’d ever put together. He’s surprisingly good at it though. Not that I’d ever tell him that.
Once safely belted into his car, he turns on the stereo and we head for ‘home’. It’s crazy how quickly the house on the Royal Circus came to feel like a real home, but crazier how easily that illusion of safety and comfort was shattered. I let my guard down and I shouldn’t have. I don’t know what I would have done if Phoenix had been at home. Was Charlie watching the house? Did he deliberately wait until she was gone?
I wonder where he is now. I have no idea if he’s still in the hospital, or what his injuries were. I don’t care. All I know is that Rebel had to go into the station for an interview a few days back, but that he was released without any charges or anything. Baxter is in talks with a lawyer to get a restraining order, but I highly doubt a piece of paper would stop him if he wanted to come after me again.
“What are you thinking about?” Bax asks me, so I tell him. He pulls a face. “I promise you now, he is in no fit state to come after you. He’s still in the hospital, and when he gets released, he won’t be able to come after you because I’ll be going to visit him.”
I shudder at his dark promise, but it does make me feel better.
We pull up to the house and before I can climb out of the car, Rebel’s at my side helping me and guiding me gently to the front door which stands open, lined by faces on either side. Jax is there too and my stomach twists. I’m not ready to interact with him. I can’t pretend that everything is okay.
“Welcome back, Princess,” Rebel says as he plants a kiss on my cheek. Instantly he’s all touchy-feely with me, which is...surprisingly okay. I allow him to tug me through the front door into the hallway which looks exactly the same. “We’ve made some changes. I’ll let Jax talk you through the security though - this place is like Fort Knox now. I’m sorry I didn’t make it so before.”
“Shush,” I tell him, because he literally has nothing to apologise for.
“Let us show you your new lounge,” Thorn grins at me. I go to turn right into the lounge but Rebel swerves me left past the kitchen and into the dining room.
What was the dining room. Because now, it’s a completely redecorated sitting room with all new furniture. And I mean all new. There’s not a single item I recognise in this room; even the TV is new. The whole room has been decorated in navy, gold and yellow, giving it a decadent sumptuous feel. Houseplants are everywhere I look, bringing life and a pop of colour to the space. It’s beautiful. I feel like I’ve stepped into a different world, or home at least.
“This is amazing, thank you,” I say quietly.
“Let’s see the dining room,” Thorn suggests, taking my hand and tugging me away from Rebel.
It stands to reason that the new dining room is my old lounge, but I hesitate on the threshold. This house is plenty big enough that I never have to set foot in this room again. We can eat in the kitchen. There’s no way I’m letting Phoenix get greasy fingers all over that velvet sofa in the lounge, but that doesn’t mean we need to use a formal dining room.
“Ready?” Thorn asks but he’s already dragged me through the doorway before I can answer.
I shake, release the breath I didn’t know I was holding, and open my eyes that have inadvertently closed. The room is...unrecognisable. I breathe out a sigh of relief. Everything has changed. The space is transformed. Even the carpet is different. The whole space is fresh, light and airy. The fireplace wall is covered in framed photographs. I spy old family photos of Lizzie and I, recent pictures of Baxter with Phoenix, and even some of the guys from school. Tears prick at my eyes as I greedily drink in all the details.
“Is it okay, Princess?” Rebel asks, watching me closely. I’m lost for words so I simply nod and throw my arms around him for a massive hug. “We made a new playroom for Phoenix too,” he adds, pointing down the hall to the conservatory that we never really used before. That’s good. Much better than having her drag her toys into the sitting room each day.
“It’s great. Thank you so much.” I want to say that it’s too much, but really, it’s done now, so what would be the point? I don’t want to spend this time fighting or bickering. Besides, there’s just no telling Rebel. I should have known better when I asked him to take care of the house, though at the time I meant to simply clean up the mess.
The guys seem to understand that I don’t want to see upstairs, and so they don’t mention it. Instead, we file through to the kitchen where Ace is pulling freshly baked cookies from my oven.
“Damn, those smell good!” I exclaim to lighten the mood.
“Welcome!” He beams at me. Damn I missed that smile almost as much as I missed his cookies. My hand shoots out to swipe one from the cooling rack and despite the heat I shove it whole into my mouth before he can confiscate it back.
“Ow! Fuck! Hot!” I cry.
“Can’t cook it cold,” Thorn quips as I desperately try to fan cool air into my mouth and blow to cool the cookie down. I just end up spitting cookie everywhere. “That’s attractive!” he snorts, laughing at me.
Everyone freezes, stares at me aghast, waiting for my reaction. I snort. Then choke on the half chewed piece of cookie in my mouth. Next thing I know I have several hands thumping me on the back. The cookie piece dislodges, flies from my mouth and I’m left with streaming eyes, a red face and snot everywhere.
