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“Sorry, I mean secrets about my mum. She hates it when I say mom,” the little girl is so earnest that I can’t help but laugh.
I grin at the little girl and promise to tell her whatever she wants to know. Phoenix gives me a smile that lights up the room and invites me in. I follow her into the open plan living space which looks completely different than the other day. There are toys strewn all over the floor and Phoenix immediately plonks herself down to start colouring. I follow her mum into the kitchen...area of the room. Shit this place is tiny. I’m scared to move in case I break things.
“I’m sorry, Rae, I thought you might not mind if I came round on my own.”
She sighs and puts the kettle on, grabbing two mugs from a cupboard overhead. I can’t help but watch her. She moves around the tiny space with the grace of a dancer, making me feel even more clumsy and out of place.
“Can I help?” I ask and she eyes me up and down. Fire ignites all along my skin where her scrutiny flickers and I want to kiss her. Without thinking I step towards her but her words stop me in my tracks.
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Reb.” Her voice is so quiet. I don’t know if she’s talking about me helping or me kissing her. Both are probably a bad idea.
“I love it when you call me Reb. I’ve missed you, Rae.”
“I don’t go by that name any more.” Her voice is so soft I have to strain to hear it. I step closer to her and she backs away. I follow until she’s pressed back against the counter.
“Did you miss me?” I press. I need to know. It’s been torture living without her, but I never gave up hope that I’d find her. I never thought when I did find her that she’d have a kid and a whole new life. Shit, she might even be married by now. My gaze drops down to her left hand and the only ring I see there is the one we gave her. Fuck. Even after all this time she’s still wearing our ring. Pride fills me and I struggle to keep the smile off my face.
“What are you smirking at?” she snaps, and I smile wider.
“You. You kept our ring. You wear it.” I watch as she brings her left hand up to her chest and protectively cups it like I might try to take it from her. She couldn’t be more wrong. I want it on the proper finger it was bought for.
“How did Phoenix know who I was?” I ask her, stepping back to give her some space. I go to sit on the dining chair and although she yells out “stop!”, it’s too late and I’m already making contact with the wooden seat and crashing through it. I should have known the rickety thing was a piece of shit that wouldn’t hold my weight.
“Fuck!” I yell, totally forgetting that there’s a kid present.
“You said a bad word!” Her little but loud voice calls out from behind me.
“Awwww, shit, yeah I did.”
“And again.” She giggles. It’s a lovely sound.
“Phoenix, Rebel just can’t help himself.” Raven fixes me with a firm stare that has me instantly hard. “But he’s going to try and control his potty mouth, isn’t he?”
“Yes ma’am,” I reply, chastised. I’m not, not at all, but she doesn’t need to know that. The kid is too cute when she giggles and so I plan to make her laugh as much as possible.
“Phoenix?” I call out, getting to my feet and kicking the broken splintered wood to one side as I turn to her. “I think we’re going to need a swear jar.” Her whole face lights up and she tells me she has just the thing before racing into her room to retrieve it.
“Do you mind? I just figured it might help me if she bleeds me dry, you know I sprinkle that shit everywhere like confetti. Most of the time I don’t even realise I’m using the sentence enhancers.”
Raven looks totally bemused by something I’ve said but agrees that I can use a swear jar with Phoenix. Her eyes skirt past me to the mess I’ve left on the floor and I immediately jump in to tell her I’ll replace it. She doesn’t argue with me - which has to be a bloody first I’m sure - and that sort of tells me that life is hard for her. She was never big on charity, but looking round this place, I can see that she’s desperately in need of some.
The little rugrat races back into the room holding a jar that’s too big for her little hands and an enormous smile on her face. “How much do we owe you?” I ask.
“I don’t know,” her brow creases in concentration and she looks so much like a mini-Raven that I have to hide my laugh behind a cough. “But I heard the S-word slipped in while I was gone.”
“Damn you’ve got the hearing of a bat.”
“Mummy? Is damn a naughty word?”
“Absolutely.”
“Ah for fu-“
“Reb!”
“Okay okay, Jesus-“
“Bad word!”
