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I open my mouth to speak but no words come out. I’m mute. What can I say? How do you explain to a child that they’re being taken away from their mother, their home, their world?
“I’m so silly, Phoenix!” Baxter calls, coming down the hallway to crouch in front of her. “I totally forgot to tell your mum that your Grandmama is taking you on holiday this week!”
“Really?” Phoenix beams.
“Yep! I forgot all about it, and now these nice people are here to take you to her.”
“Is Mummy coming on the holiday too?”
“No, baby,” Baxter tells her softly. “But you always have such a great time with Cordelia, don’t you?”
“I guess.” She shrugs, suddenly less excited at the thought of going away again without me, so soon after the last visit. “Why isn’t Mummy or you taking me?” she asks.
“I’m going to come with you in the car, but first we need to go pack a bag real quick, okay?”
She nods shakily and Rebel passes her hand from his to Baxter’s and Baxter leads her away up the stairs.
I sob and fall; Ace catches me and cradles me to his chest. He rocks me, hushes me, pats my back, but I’m inconsolable, hyperventilating.
Eventually Jax comes over and catches my attention enough for me to take a deep breath.
“Listen,” he urges. “They’ll be down any minute. Do not let Phoenix think anything is wrong. She already knows that something isn’t right and is probably a bit nervous and scared. If she sees you right now she will freak out.”
I know what he’s saying makes sense but I can’t stop.
“Raven, look at me…we cannot stop or fight this right now, not without making this a million times worse. I promise you, we will get her back. But you can’t let this be the last memory Phoenix has of you as she leaves.”
I jerk my head in agreement and furiously dash the tears away. I take several deep, shaky breaths, and when I’m convinced that I can stand without falling or vomiting, I tell Ace to put me down.
I’m just back on my feet when Baxter and Phoenix come back down the stairs.
“Got everything?” the man asks gently. Baxter nods. “Let’s go then.”
“Wait! Can’t they say goodbye first?” Jax whisper-hisses at the pair, not wanting to upset Phoenix.
“I’m afraid not,” he replies, pulling an apologetic face. The woman's expression is like stone. She seems completely impervious to what is happening here. How can anyone be that cold? That callous?
They move to open the front door and step out. I panic. What are they doing? Where are they going? I haven’t said goodbye!
They can’t do this!
“Phoenix!” I yell.
“Mummy!” she screams, bursting into heart-wrenching tears. Her little sobs wrack her whole body and Baxter scoops her up into his arms. Jax hurries forward to whisper something to Phoenix and her tiny hands fly to her heart necklace, just as my hands mirror her and clasp mine.
“I love you, Mummy!” she calls through her sobs.
“I love you too, baby!”
The door closes with a deathly soft click, louder than any bang or slam could make.
They didn’t even let me say goodbye.
Without warning, my world crumbles and collapses around me, faster than my legs do.
Raven’s Diary
Present Day
I just...I can’t even…If someone fucks with the people I love…How is this happening? What does Cordelia want? I burn them all to the ground…How could she do this to me? Rebel’s words keep swirling around and around my mind, in time to the churning of my stomach. How could she do this to Phoenix? Watch out Cordelia, I’m coming for you. I won’t be coming alone, and we won’t stop until we’ve burnt everything you care about to the ground.
