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Chapter Forty-One
Raven
The next morning I wake up on my favourite comfy sofa bed with Phoenix next to me. She’s sat up in bed watching cartoons already and she brightly informs me the second I crack open my eyes, that Baxter has gone for a run. I assume that means in the gym on a treadmill, because he’s never struck me as the sporty, active or outdoorsy type.
I stretch out in bed and enjoy cuddles with Phoenix before the memory of yesterday punches me in the gut all over again. I sniff in a vain attempt to hold back tears - again - and Phoenix tells me off for interrupting her program. Why do I always seem to be crying these days? If there was ever a time for it to be okay to cry and be a wreck, it would be at the prospect of losing my child, but how am I supposed to fight for her if I can’t pull myself together.
I get washed and dressed in the same clothes I’ve had on a couple of days now - truly a walk of shame - and then pull out some clothes from Phoenix’s bag. Of course Cordelia will have washed and ironed all of Nix’s stuff, and judging by the bulging bag, has bought her a load of new stuff too.
I’m just finishing getting her ready when Baxter’s phone goes off. It makes me jump but I don’t manage to find it in time to answer it. Only, it rings a second and a third time too. What if it’s an emergency? Whoever is calling seems pretty desperate to get hold of him.
I locate his phone, tangled in the sheets of his bed, and actually see he has several missed calls. That’s when it starts again, this time pinging with messages coming through left, right and centre.
Tilly: are you up?
Tilly: we need to talk!
Tilly: you and Jax can’t keep ignoring me like this!
Tilly: dammit Baxter! You can’t ghost me like this
And the final one before I drop the phone:
Tilly: I thought we had something special, the other weekend was amazing.
I want to sail on the river of denial, but the mention of Jax is just too much of a coincidence. Why on earth would the two of them be in contact with her? And what does she mean about the weekend being amazing? Is there a simple explanation, or am I fool?
Thoughts of betrayal slither through me like a toxic gas, contaminating everything it comes into contact with. I want to scream and lash out, but I just don’t have room in my head or my heart for any more drama. I certainly can’t cry anymore tears. Jax, I could understand. We’re not technically anything to each other. But Baxter’s deception hurts more than anything.
I gather Phoenix up, along with all her stuff and head out the door. She asks where we’re going and I tell her home, she asks if Baxter’s coming and I say no, then she wants to know why we can’t wait to say bye to him and I have to lie and say he’s been called into work, but she accepts this as pretty normal.
When I pull up outside the house, a figure sits hunched on my doorstep. They’re dressed all in black, wearing a hoodie so I can’t see their face. I park and pull up the camera app, but of course they’re not facing the camera. I make sure all of the doors are locked before I wind down the window and call, “Can I help you?”
The figure starts and jumps to its feet - has to be a guy with that build - and makes his way towards us. I must be really tired because I swear he’s about four foot away before I realise it’s Ace.
“Aljaž, what are you doing here?” I ask warily.
“Waiting.”
“Waiting for what?”
“You.”
“Oh. Why?”
“Need to see you okay.”
I smile at him and climb out of the car. I quickly unload Phoenix’s bag and move to get her out too, but Ace has beaten me to it.
“Morning, Phoenix, Rebel says you are princess in training,” he says to her delight. “Permission to carry the mala princeska?”
“Hi, Aljaž,” Phoenix grins at him, and he beams back at her when she uses his full name. “Yes, please carry me!”
He easily scoops her up like a princess and carries her to the front door, over the threshold and down the corridor to the playroom, with Phoenix giggling the whole way. It warms my heart, until I remember the shitstorm Cordelia has stirred up.
I’m not letting my baby go.
“Hey,” Ace calls softly, making me jump when he quietly sneaks into the kitchen on me.
