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We say our goodbyes and leave in silence. The whole car journey home Phoenix chatters about her week and all I can think is fuck, what am I going to do? Cordelia can afford the best lawyers in the country, if not the world, how do I compete?
I drive home on autopilot, arriving outside Baxter’s hotel before I know what I’m doing. That was dangerous, to drive in such a state, but what else could I do. I dial Baxter and he picks up on the first ring.
“Raven, I’m-”
“I need your help. We’re outside. Can we stay tonight?”
“What? Of course. I’ll be right down to meet you. Park up.”
I hang up and drive into the underground parking garage. I park in Baxter’s guest spot - seriously what hotel has extra parking for the guests of guests? - and then help Phoenix and her things over the lifts. Baxter steps out when the lift pings its arrival, and I don’t hesitate to step inside. I just hold my breath the whole way up to his suite.
“You okay?” he asks me when we arrive and I let out my breath and gasp for fresh air.
“Inside,” I say. He nods, let’s us in, guides Phoenix over to the TV and puts Frozen on for her. She loves that film. Her face lights up, she gives him a massive cuddle, and then sits on the sofa to watch.
“Can we talk somewhere?” I ask throwing a pointed look at Phoenix.
“Of course, come,” he beckons me through to the bathroom. It’s fine. He sits on the edge of the bath and I close the door then pace.
“What’s wrong?”
“I...Cordelia…” I don’t know whether to burst into tears, to scream or yell. I’m so angry. I’m terrified. I’ve never known fear like this. There’s a very real chance that I could lose my baby.
“What has she done?” Baxter asks with urgency. He can see how much more messed up I am by this visit than any of the others in the past.
“She’s given me these,” I throw the brown envelope at him, “and is threatening to tell people that I’m a murderer.”
“You’re not a murderer,” he automatically corrects. It’s an argument we’ve had a thousand times.
“Killer. Whatever. She’s going to fight for custody of Phoenix and she’s going to win.”
Baxter pulls out the papers and scans them quickly. When he realises what they are he whistles sharply between his teeth.
“Fuck,” he says grimly.
“It’s really bad isn’t it?”
“She states that you’re incompetent to be Phoenix’s primary caregiver. She states the poverty issues that you had…”
“But that’s so much better now!” I cry. I don’t want to think about the charity from Rebel that I’ve come to rely on, or what might happen now that he hates me.
“It’s not just that. It says your ‘immoral lifestyle choices’ are having a detrimental effect on Phoenix’s health and wellbeing.”
“What the fuck?”
“I’m guessing she’s referring to your five boyfriends…”
“Well that’s not an issue anymore is it?”
“Fuck!” He hisses.
“What?”
“She cites me as a reason. The fucking bitch!”
“How can she?”
“It says you have an unhealthy relationship with a known criminal, it has to be me.”
