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Chapter Thirty-Six
Jax
I fucking hate her.
I can’t abide liars and this is the ultimate betrayal.
I knew it. I knew she couldn’t be trusted and that letting her back into our lives would be a huge mistake. I’m so angry; both at her and myself! I spent four years learning how to protect my heart from her and in a few short weeks, she’s managed to worm her way back in, under my skin, burrowing so deeply that I half managed to convince myself that I can’t live without her.
How could she do this to us? To me? Just when I thought we were getting somewhere and could overcome all the shitty deceitful mistakes of our pasts, she goes and drops this bombshell.
What she has done, what she has kept from us, is so much worse than what I did with the Lizzie situation. Sure, I didn’t start out with the best intentions, wanting to see Lizzie suffer to protect my brothers, but at least my motives were true. I just went about things the wrong way. And at least I tried to stop it.
It’s not even comparable to what she’s done.
And then, to refuse a paternity test! It’s just...cruel. Hurtful. Why deny it now, when the cat is out of the bag? I just don’t understand why she would do that. It makes no sense. What can she hope to achieve by denying us this knowledge? Maybe she’s terrified that Phoenix is mine. I’d certainly be the worst choice out of the four - or is it five? - of us.
I refuse to acknowledge the sliver of something inside of me that just doesn’t give a fuck if I am Phoenix’s father…it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. I never planned on having kids, and given the choice I probably still wouldn’t, but that choice may have been taken from me anyway, so I may as well embrace the idea.
Besides, I could do a lot worse than be a father to a kid like Phoenix. I will admit that Raven has done a great job with raising her, especially in the face of all the difficulties she’s had to overcome.
But I could never ever be with Raven knowing what she’s done. What she’s kept hidden.
One of us has missed out on nearly four years of that child’s life because of her. And whilst she might have had her own fucked up, warped reasons for doing it, I cannot forgive her for dragging Ace into her mess.
She’s bewitched him and manipulated him into doing her bidding, to the point where he’d keep secrets from his own brothers! It’s abhorrent.
No. Whatever happens next, the one thing I know for sure, is that I will never forgive Raven for tearing my family apart.
Charlotte’s Diary
Present Day
Shit shit shit. The only thing worse than the four princes turning up on my doorstep? One of them returning unannounced and discovering Phoenix. Fuck. I have no idea if Rebel is going to keep my secret. I can only pray that he hasn’t put two and two together. I don’t know what I’m going to do if he has. Or, god forbid, if the others find out. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick.
