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I give myself five minutes, not a moment more, then sharply tell myself to get it together. I go to the bathroom and wash my face, then return to my bed and pull out my journal from my bedside chest. It’s buried at the bottom with Lizzie’s and wrapped in her baby blanket. When she went off to West Prep, we swapped our blankets so that we’d always have a part of each other with us. I never thought that the blanket and a journal would be all that I had left of her.
I take a deep breath, then I open my own personal journal. Like Lizzie’s, mine’s encoded. I turn furiously to my hit list and score a line through it. On a fresh page, I scrawl ‘Charlotte’s Revised Hit List’, and below it, I write their names.
I came here with one mission: to make those who hurt my sister pay. I got distracted by some pretty faces. I was a fool. I just found out that my list has to now double in size, but I can’t let that bother me. I’m going to make those mother fuckers wish that they never met my sister or me. They’ll be begging and bleeding by the time I’m done with them.
No more silly games.
This time it’s war.
Lizzie’s Letter
Hey Sis,
My date was...uneventful. In that it never happened. He stood me up. I waited at the diner in town for ages, and he just didn’t show. I was so embarrassed because it was a busy Saturday lunchtime, and they really needed the table, but I kept holding out, thinking to myself “I’ll just wait ten more minutes.” I think at the two-hour mark some sort of self-preservation kicked in and I headed back to school.
The princesses were waiting for me when I got back and teased me about being stood up. I don’t know how they knew I was supposed to be on a date. I really, really hope that they didn’t put him up to asking me out and that it was all some sort of horrible prank. I’m trying to make excuses for him - something could have come up, and because of the stupid no phones rule he had no way of letting me know - because I always want to believe the best of people.
But he’s missed a week’s worth of tutoring sessions now, and I haven’t seen him around at all. I think I’ve well and truly been dumped in every way.
I’m not going to lie, I’m gutted. I know I don’t have to put a brave face on with you, but it hurts. Not that he stood me up, but the ghosting afterwards. An explanation would’ve been nice. More than anything, I actually miss our study sessions. I thought we’d become close. I would’ve said we were friends.
I feel like the only friend I have now is Michael. Even the girls from my maths class don’t talk to me anymore. I don’t blame them, who would want to be friends with the girl everyone’s bullying? I’d tell them to stay away from me too. There’s no need for them to become victims as well. Luckily, Michael’s been there for me through everything. He’s such a nice guy, you’d really like him Charlie.
Anyway, I need to go and practise some more for my solo. Can you believe it’s two weeks away? I’m still excited to be singing, but some of the shine has gone away now. Never mind, you’ll be there, and I get to come home with you after.
See you soon!
I love you. Be good.
Your Busy Lizzie x
