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I had to just say it, rip it off like a Band Aid. Otherwise it would be a slow, painful death.
“As in, we’re spending consensual adult time together and enjoying one another’s company.” My face burned. She’d never even explained the birds and the bees to me, but I’m assuming she knew I wasn’t a virgin anymore.
More silence expanded between us. “Well then, that’s…” She trailed off once more. “That’s a big piece of news.”
For two glorious seconds, I assumed she’d be happy. Her build-a-son was spending time with her daughter. That would be a match made in heaven in my parents’ world, right? Besides, she’d practically thrown us together the first night we met; this news should thrill her.
“Sweetie, I really wish you would have talked about this with us first,” she reproached quietly.
“Why would I have to talk about it with you first?” I scoffed, licking the spoon.
The little camera in front of me showed Davis still stalking around the same tree that he had been for the past ten minutes, the dogs jumping every few seconds and barking at whatever was up there.
“Well, there’s things to consider…” She trailed off.
“Such as?”
“He’s just delicate, sweetie.”
The image of dirty talking, rough sex Davis flashed in my head, making me laugh audibly. “He’s not as delicate as you might think.”
“Oh for goodness sakes, Raelyn, that’s crass. I didn’t need to know that.”
Talking with my mouth full, I responded, “Sorry, but you said he wasdelicate.”
“He’s just had a rough go of it, and with his brother, and the way his parents cut ties with him…. he’s just closed himself off to people, and it has taken your father and I a lot of time to get him to open up.”
It hurt that she seemed to know all these things about him; that he’d opened enough to them to share about his life.
“And what? You think I’ll ruin him?”
Her pause spoke volumes. “That’s not what I said. It’s just—you just got back, and you’re still finding your footing.”
“Mom, I’m not sure what to say to that.” She was right, I was still finding my footing, and I understood what she wasn’t saying. If things went badly, it could ruin things for her and my father. “But I do care for him, more than you probably know.”
“I’m sure you do, in your own way, sweetie.”
The camera showed Davis moving back to the front door.
“Mom, I have to go. I’ll be home tomorrow.” I hung up before she could say anything else. Not because I didn’t love her, but each word she said had rattled me to my core. And if I let Davis know or show any of that, then he’d lose his only support system in the whole world. So, I’d tuck it away, put on a brave face, and enjoy what time I had left of this weekend.
* * *
Later that night,I found out that Davis still liked to read. He had an obsession with old, leather-bound books. In his study, he had oil paintings—a few modern pieces of art, and hundreds of books, stacked, piled, and tucked into shelves. I begged him to read to me, so that was how we ended our second night, reclined against one another in front of the fire, his dogs curled around each of us and my heart pounding in my chest. It would be too easy to fall in love with all of this…with him.
Too easy to love the rain, or the porch, or the soaking tub and scalp massages.
It was as though my past were taunting me, begging me to stay, but daring me to share my secret and see if he’d still welcome me here. The confession burned on the tip of my tongue, but panic seized my throat so much that when I did speak, it was something else that came out.
“Tell me about your family?”
The fire popped and cracked next to us as my question hung in the air. My chest grew tight as I waited for him to answer, but all I felt was the rise and fall of his chest below my cheek.
Finally, after what felt like forever, he stroked my hair and responded.
“There isn’t much to tell. I haven’t seen my parents in a few years; they wanted warm beaches and to live as close to the sun as humanly possible.”
But my parents had mentioned a brother.
