AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Over and fucking over again.
She wasn’t mine anymore.
Each day my disgust over how I had treated her that night in her parent’s yard would grow. The look on her face kept running on repeat in my head. I’d try to sleep, but then I’d see her face when I called her pathetic and she crumpled to the ground.
Then my brain would remind me that she had lied and chose not to trust me with her truth.
She chose to keep from me this thing that tied us together, this fundamental thing that required her honesty. Her being obsessed with me when she was in high school wasn’t something to be ashamed of, but if we wanted a future together, a real one, then it would have to be built on mutual trust and honesty. I was vulnerable with her. That was her moment to tell me who she was…to explain to me that once upon a time she loved me.
The more I thought over the timeline we were together, the more our first breakup made sense. It was the day Gavin came over, and we talked about Rae. She must have overheard us, and right after that she…
Left me.
How could I have actually accused her of trying to set all this up? God, I was an idiot.
All I knew was after three days, I missed Rae. My dogs missed her, the entire house seemed to miss her. It felt empty and cold without her, and I hadn’t slept a single night in my bed, because she wasn’t in it, and I couldn’t stand to look at all the things I put there for her. I had slept on the couch, but then that reminded me of her…and so, I slept on the floor, next to my dogs…where I fucking belonged.
Driving toward Roger and Millie’s house felt like swallowing nails. I wasn’t anxious; I was ashamed. So, the feeling wasn’t even tied to my nerves. It was in my blood, roaring at me to fix the colossal mistake I had made on their lawn just days before.
Parking and starting up the walk, I paused when Roger pushed through the door and met me halfway.
“Roger, I—” I started, but his stern expression stopped me. I had never seen him look so hurt and angry, and he had every right to be.
“Just turn around and go back, Davis.”
I paused, trying to wrap my head around him calling me that instead of Thomas. It was a sucker punch.
“I have to be the one to love my daughter, because you broke her heart, and there needs to be some man in her life willing to mend it. So, just go…live your life, be happy, but leave us be.”
He gave me one last look and turned around, leaving me there on the sidewalk with my heart lurching uncomfortably and my stomach twisting.
I stood there, staring. My eyes watered, my throat bobbed, and I tried to convince myself to turn around, but they were the only family I had.
They were it, and now they didn’t want me.
Maybe if I tried to explain that I loved her, that it was a mistake. Maybe if he…
Blinking, I shook myself out of it, and without another thought, I spun on my boot, heading for my truck.
I knew they wouldn’t be happy with me, but deep down, I had assumed our connection would go deeper, and preserve our relationship that had existed outside of Rae. I was an idiot, because Rae had always been a part of us—a part of me—even not knowing she was, there was a tether that had kept us connected.
With shaking hands, I went to the only other place I could think of, now realizing Rae’s car wasn’t even in front of her parents’ house. With every block, I began to think over what I’d say to her…how I would go about patching this up. I couldn’t just act like she hadn’t lied or omitted her part in my life. I had to face that, but if Rae wasn’t ready…or—
The realization that Rae might have given up on me hit hard and fast. Why was I assuming she’d still want to talk to me, after what I said?
Fuck.
Still, I had to try and see her, because I was going insane without at least laying eyes on her.
Pulling in front of Nora’s house, I saw Rae’s car parked in the driveway. Gripping the steering wheel, I watched the car like it might suddenly combust or disappear then slowly took a calming breath. It was a few seconds later, seeing my breath cloud in front of me, that I walked. The early mornings had turned cold as fall set in, and with it took more time from me being with Rae. She was supposed to be starting each of these freezing cold mornings with me, up there, on the mountain. She was supposed to be there to see how beautiful the leaves looked when they started turning orange and feel how good the hot tub felt on those bitter early mornings.
Curling my knuckles, I pounded on Nora’s door, and waited. Nothing happened.
I knocked again and hit the doorbell for good measure, but still nothing.
Maybe she was asleep and couldn’t hear me? It was past eight in the morning; she’d be up, they both would. I knew their phone call habits by now, and every morning around seven, they were on the phone with each other.
I was about to walk around back when Colson’s voice stopped me. Across the small fence that separated his yard from Nora’s, he walked to his truck and clicked over the ignition to get it started. He wore heavier, lined clothing, and thick-soled boots—likely on his way to work.
