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I don’t want to take my death glare off The Gatekeeper, but he looks…shocked. His eyes on the person behind me. There’s a red hue to his skin now as he fumbles to find words. Who wields such power against The Gatekeeper?
When I meet the gaze of the commanding voice, it all makes sense. And I roll my eyes so hard it hurts.
“No-Cheese. Good to see you again.”
Grant’s facial expression doesn’t change at my awesome joke, but I can see a new twinkle in his green eyes. Giving me a nod of acknowledgement, he turns back to The Gatekeeper. “If you could grant her a guest pass, it would be appreciated. She’s due up on forty-three with me.”
The Gatekeeper takes a deep breath through his noise, his lips are pressed so tight together I can barely see them. His angry eyes come to me as he grabs something and slams it on the slick surface.
“The cardmustbe returned in no less than an hour.” And with that, he turns his head away, presses something on his headset, and starts to ignore me. Again.
It takes everything in me to say a “thank you” to him and stretch a shaking arm over to the card. Going up on my tiptoes, I claw at the key until it slides off the edge of the desk. Both arms are visibly shaking – I’m not sure if it’s from the boxes or some residual anger hanging around in my veins – but I’m positive everyone sees the state of my arms.
Taking my new pass to elevator freedom, I spin on my heel, thinking that Grant will be waiting for me. He isn’t. He’s already made his way through the gates and is standing by the elevator bank. His hands are clasped behind his back, like he doesn’t have a care in the world.
I walk over to the bank of automatic security gates and wait for the thing to open. Confused, I look back over to the front desk and see a security woman looking at me. She makes a swiping gesture with her arm and I realize my mistake. Finally, some girl power I can get behind. I nod my gratitude. Douche-canoe apparently forgot to tell me the pass was for these doors too. I thought it was just to scan on the elevator.
Taking a deep breath, I force my right arm a little higher and press it against the red pad on the gate. A green flash goes off and the doors open. I dash through. Theswoosh-slam-thunkof the machine, startles me.
“Can I help you with one of those bags?” Grant asks me. I don’t even try to graciously tell him I’m okay, that I got this, or whatever. Instead, a loud, “Oh God yes,” bursts from me and I turn my whole body towards him, offering up the packages. Carefully, he grabs the four boxes that I’ve been carrying in my upturned hands and brings them into his arms. With nothing balancing on me anymore, I’m able to lower my arms and readjust the bags that were hanging on my forearms. I’ve never felt relief so instantly.
“Oh yeah,” I sigh as I turn my arms to-and-fro to get the blood pumping.
“Going a little numb?”
“You have no idea.”
“Does your work not supply better bags or some kind of…stacking device?”
Stacking device. This man was precious. He had no idea what he was talking about and it made me like him even more.
“I have a trolley. A wagon-thing,” I say when I see his mild confusion, “and use it for big orders. But I was running late this morning and stupidly thought that I could hold all this without losing a limb. If you hadn’t saved me from The Gatekeeper, I would have died a delivery sacrifice, right there in front of that marble monstrosity of a security desk.”
He mumblesThe Gatekeeperunder his breath a second before he takes a step away. It’s my turn to be confused. Why was he walking away from me? My eyes scan downwards, taking him all in. Then, I realize he’s walking to the open elevator. Before I’m ready to follow, a swarm of people push their way into the car, taking me with them. I try and detangle myself, but my bags are wedged between multiple strangers. If I figth back, the bags will flip, destroying everything inside. Slowly, I turn and watch as the elevator doors close.
I knew I was making my way onto an elevator, but I had been so distracted by Grant, that the reality of the situation hadn’t hit me. Now it does. With the click of the doors, I take a deep breath. A hot flash consumes me. Closing my eyes for a moment, I let the air I was holding in my cheeks out in long hiss.
You’re okay. You’re fine. This will be over soon and you’re not alone.
A memory tries to overtake me, but I push it away. Not willing to let myself go down that miserable rabbit hole. I’m not a huge fan of elevators. Small spaces, whether I’m in one or just close to a very enclosed area, make me nervous. Okay, that was a lie. They terrified me. The fear of being trapped in a small space causes my heartrate to skyrocket, my hands sweat and my stomach churn.
I know I’m in an elevator with other people, not trapped or with no escape, but this feeling never goes away. The air feels thinner. How was I going to make it up forty-three floors crammed in here like a sardine? Someone needed to get off. Give the rest of us their air. A sharp pain crosses my side as a briefcase jabs into me. The painful distraction is a curse and a blessing. That’s definitely going to leave a mark.
I’m squished between three people, barely able to get enough room for the donut boxes I’m holding. My eyes dart to the panel on the wall and see that the buttons are lit up like a Christmas tree. The floor I need to get to is lit, so that’s a small relief. I have no idea how I would have pressed the button myself, wedged over here like I was.
As I look at the man whose briefcase is embedding itself into me, my eyes linger over his shoulder to spot Grant. He’s tucked in the far corner of the car, his eyes are locked on me with an air of concern. Knowing he’s looking at me, had one side of my lip hiking in a grin. It’s comforting to know he’s looking out for me. Like he can sense my unease. Or maybe he saw my expression of pain? Doesn’t matter, just seeing him in this tight space with me allows me to take a deep breath. My anxiety gently easing.
Goosebumps course down my arms as we continue to gaze at each other. Neither one of us wanting to blink first. What was it about this man? We’d maybe only exchanged a handful of sentences with each other, but I really felt like I knew him. Like we were old friends. The strange feelings he was reawakening in me couldn’t be denied. Bit by bit I felt my body come back to life after being dormant for so long. My heart was still beating fast, but now it was for a different reason. I had tried to rationalize my reaction to him last night after talking to my sister, but in the light of day, face to face with him again, I know that what I’m feeling can’t be tossed aside. This was too…different to be forgotten.
My body and my head are working against my heart, telling me that this man is the little something-something, the sprinkle if you will, that I’ve been lacking in my life.
And wasn’t that absolute horrible timing. But lust waits for no one.
A cool breeze hits me as the elevator doors open and someone gets off. The car still feels crammed but the air feels nice. Over and over, the elevator jerks to a stop and the doors slowly open to let people off on their respective floors. I get use to shuffling around, making sure my bags don’t swing or get crushed, as people exit.
When there is only a handful of people left in the elevator, somewhere around the thirtieth floor, I step back so I can be closer to Grant. I’m pretty sure he isn’t going to make a mad dash with the boxes he was holding, but I don’t play around with donut safety. I think he mentioned we were going to the same floor to The Gatekeeper, but my brain was affected by his proximity. When the last person exits the car, and it is just him and me, my eyes dart to the dark panel. There is only one button lit.
“You’re going to the forty-third floor too?” God, the question sounds dumb, even to me.
