AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“No, I didn’t mean that. I meant to ask how. Was I alone somewhere or were you with me when I got shot?”
Damn it, I should have been more prepared. It was obvious she’d want to know the circumstances of her accident.
We stopped walking and I stared at Lilly jumping around in the distance. She was playing, talking to herself, and occasionally sitting on the grass to touch the flowers. So much life in that little bundle.
I then looked into Marinka’s deep blue pools for eyes. Her skin glistened, and although she needed to put a bit more weight on, she was still incredibly sexy. In these years, my feelings for her had only grown, and I yearned to show her what we could have together, if only she trusted me again. Once more, the only way out of this rut was honesty.
“You were supposed to wait for me in my office, at the club—will explain later about it. I happened to have a very important meeting then. I believe you saw me with one of the hostesses,” I said, wondering why I was even saying this shit. The girl was fired instantly and then long forgotten. “The girl was too forward with me, acting in a way she shouldn’t have, and I believe you saw her kissing me, so you ran away.”
I had been going over the events of that day for years, thinking and analyzing and wondering what I might have done differently.
Then I took Marinka’s hand in mine. She looked surprised by this sudden gesture and I was certain she was going to pull away from me, but she didn’t.
“So … is it true that, after you took me from the life I knew, you made me marry you?” she asked in a small voice.
She had no idea what I’d put her through and in a way, it might have been better that she didn’t remember any of it. For years, I cared only about business and being loyal to myself. Others were scared to cross me, and at times I pushed people to do some truly evil shit. At this point, I didn’t even know how to answer that question. I’d never been a relationship kind of guy, especially after what happened to Russina. But then I met Marinka, and everything changed.
It was time to lay out more of the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
CHAPTER6
Marinka
I just couldn’t believemy life had changed so much, and I was asleep for most of it. I remembered myself being this shy and timid student in the past and now, I was the wife of a mafia boss and mother to the most amazing little girl called Lilly.
I’d missed out on the best parts: her first step, first birthday, first words … and I was unable to take care of her when she was crying, hungry, or unsettled. I didn’t learn how to be a mother, and I had a pitiful role model to go by. I ranted and raved at the universe for the unfairness of it all.
Then there was Sebastian, my husband. A man who appeared to know me so well, while he was mostly a mystery to me. Every time he looked at me or touched me, electric currents charged through me, starting with a sparkle and ending with a veritable inferno when I was alone, thinking too much, yearning and brooding.
The chemistry was palpable, but how did I handle it? I didn’t recall ever having a boyfriend, and based on everybody’s account of what happened when we first met, I must have truly hated him in the beginning. After all, he took me away from my parents as payment for their sins. A barbaric concept that seemed to be acceptable in this mafia world I woke up in.
I truly wanted to remember, but this was one of those things I couldn’t force to happen. Waiting, I found out, wasn’t my strong suit.
We sat on a bench in the beautiful garden and watched Lilly play. I should focus on this, on the present. Lord knew I’d wasted enough of my past and I needed to cherish every moment in the now.
“Mommy, there is a butterfly. I’m chasing it!” Lilly shouted, getting up quickly and trying to catch it. The sound of her voice and laughter was a balm to my soul. It was so easy to fall in love with her, and I hated the thought of spending another day without her.
“You can do it!” I shouted back.
She didn’t stray far, which was good because I wasn’t in a position to chase after anything right then. She was only three and full of spirit. I didn’t know how old Sebastian was, and I was still too shy to ask. His intensity threw me for a loop. In the past, I cut myself when the pain and distress became too much to bear, but I knew on a visceral level those days were behind me. I was a different person now.
“I must admit we had a bumpy start, but over time, you’ll warm up to me again, teacup,” he said, leaning close. He held my hand and I let him. The musky scent of his aftershave drifted to my nostrils as he stared at my lips. Then, he started caressing my palm with his thumb, and my breath hitched. My free hand went instinctively to my stomach.Oh God…“Once, I came home beaten up and covered in blood. One of my guys got shot in a restaurant, and I suffered several broken ribs. You took care of me. At first, I couldn’t even move. You cooked for me, fed me, and even washed me like a proper nurse. You insisted on handling it all.”
I parted my lips but no words came out of my mouth. My body felt hot, almost burning. I stopped myself from reaching out and tracing his hard, square jaw with my fingers.
Yet, despite what he’d just said, he was still a stranger. A dangerous one, were I to believe my mother. Although I took her statements with a pinch of salt, I couldn’t completely let go until I recovered at least some of the memories I shared with him. I’d never been one to dive headfirst into a risky situation.
“Please tell me,” I said, licking my lips that felt dry and sensitive. “Did I agree to our getting married? I suppose you didn’t give me much choice in the matter.” I felt silly for asking such things, but what choice did I have? I couldn’t be skittish in this situation. I had to know, although the only way to verify would be to remember things on my own.
There was that intense look again. Sebastian was so tall and lean. I didn’t think he would be my type. Well, I didn’t really have a type, but then again, he had that edge to him, a dangerous gleam in his eyes that both pushed and pulled at my sanity.
“You were what I’d describe a good girl, Marinka. You were inexperienced, but you helped me with bringing the Russians on board. I must admit I wasn’t very patient with you in the beginning, but we were happy. We needed to get married because of Russina. She’d been my business partner and knew the game well. If my associates found out she was dead, this would have complicated things for me and my entire family. Serbians aren’t very keen on Russians, but to even consider the Italians almost got you killed. I regret that decision every day.”
This whole thing sounded so complicated, and I didn’t know what to say. It was a whole new, alien world to me.
“Me? I helped you out?” I asked, feeling both proud and embarrassed. A little shocked, too. I didn’t know I had it in me, especially since he’d mentioned my lack of experience.
Speaking of, I must have given him my virginity, too. Trusted him with my body.
