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The look he gave my mother would have turned her to stone, were he a gorgon. Butterflies erupted in a mad flight inside my stomach. His icy voice sent chills down my spine, but I wasn’t really looking at him. I was staring at the child he held in his arms, and then her tiny, high-pitched voice screaming, “Mama, Mama!”
The world stopped spinning. Time stood still. The sun circled the planets and gravity didn’t exist. In a flash, the little blond creature was crawling on the bed and launching herself my arms. My heart threatened to burst out of my chest because for the first time since I woke up, I felt a love I never thought I was capable of. Instant and unstoppable, a freight train of emotions that would carry me through any challenge I could possibly face.
Lilly.She was the one I’d fight for, lay my life on the line for. And suddenly, as she embraced me with her little hands, showering me with love, everything was clear as day. I cried and cried, without holding back. This moment required authenticity, no dissembling or valiant shows of strength. Right now, this very moment, I was simply human—a mother. Nothing else mattered.
Lilly smelled like him and me. There was no doubt in my mind, this child came from me. Her angelic face angled up to mine, she was touching me, talking to me, lively with so much energy, and words got stuck in my throat. I smiled through the tears, because how could I not?
“Lilly, you’re so big and strong. Do you know who I am?” I finally managed to ask. It was only me and her in this room—no one else. This was our moment.
She smiled so brightly and yes, she looked like me, but her blue eyes, although my color, were shaped like her father’s, wide and intense.
I glanced at him at last to find him watching us like a hawk, his eyes filled with both pain and joy. Considering how mad he sounded when he walked in, I expected him to be angry, but he looked moved, as though he still couldn’t believe I was here, living and breathing.
He looked so relieved, I felt a sudden pressure to feel a certain way. Yet, although he was my husband, I knew pretty much nothing about him.
Still, I belonged to him now, and that’s what terrified me the most.
CHAPTER5
Sebastian
Lilly ranto Marinka without any hesitation and threw herself into her arms. Emotion clogged my throat, something I wasn’t used to. But seeing Lilly with Marinka unlocked something inside me, and I wanted nothing more than to experience this moment with them. I wanted to embrace them both, kiss my wife and tell her that everything was going to be all right.
But I was locked out. An outsider. Marinka just didn’t know me like that anymore, and that reduced me to a broken mess. Knowing that I had to start once more from scratch, one brick after another. The house I’d built had come tumbling down, and I had no idea if it would be just as strong on the second go-round.
“You’re my mama, silly,” Lilly said. “I came to see you many times when you were sleeping.”
She sounded a little cross that Marinka was even asking the question. So typical, I laughed as a tear escaped my eyes and rolled down my cheek. Dammit.Fuck this shit.I may seem vulnerable, but in a moment like this, a man had a right to a break. I’d pay the consequences willingly. All the love I was witnessing, yet I was the outsider, forced to hold back.
“Of course, silly me. But since I was sleeping so deeply, I missed a lot,” Marinka replied, touching Lilly’s hair like she couldn’t believe it was real. Her cheeks had a little color on them, and she looked better than yesterday.
“And Daddy came with me. He was very worried about you, but you can come home now. It’s going to be so much fun.” Lilly giggled, showing Marinka her two dolls.
“Oh yes, I bet your Daddy can’t wait to have Mommy home,” Marta said with obvious sarcasm as she got up and went to stand by the window.
I didn’t trust that woman. When we entered the room, I caught the tail end of something she was saying about Lilly. That raised my protective instincts to high alert. She was stirring shit when we were all here to rekindle whatever we had lost in the past four years.
I wasn’t a saint myself, but the way Marta treated her own child made me fucking mad. Our daughter was chatting with Marinka as though they’d known each other forever. I took that opportunity to corner Marta in by the window. She stepped back, eyes narrowed.
“I think you overstayed your welcome here,” I ground out.
She chewed on her bottom lip and glanced back at her husband.
“She’s still our daughter, Sebastian, and we want to be part of her and our granddaughter’s life. You should be glad that she doesn’t remember the bad things,” she said with a fake smile.
“You are not in position to make demands, and now I want you to leave us alone,” I snarled.
Marinka was too distracted with Lilly to pay any attention to her rotten mother, but Vlad looked uncomfortable. At least, he was genuinely interested in his daughter’s wellbeing. Although I’d perceived him as a lying weasel, he wasn’t a cold slab of marble like his wife.
“Darling, we are going to leave you alone with your family, but we will be back soon,” he said, no doubt sensing the tension.
“Lilly, these are your grandpa and grandma,” Marinka said, and I had to hold back a retort.
Lilly turned to face Vlad. For a long moment, she just stared at him as though assessing if he was worth her attention, then she shifted her gaze to Marta.
“You’re like my mommy so we can play together later. She’s tired now,” Lilly said, and I wanted to laugh. This child was cracking me up.
“I know, sweetie, so we are going now, but we would love to get to know you a bit later,” Vlad interjected. He sounded tired and exhausted. I’d heard through the grapevine his business wasn’t doing so well and there were rumours that he was on the verge of bankruptcy.
