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“I agree,” Kadou said. “It’s less risky to distribute them somewhere they might not be immediately noticed.”
Zeliha hummed in thought and nodded. “All right.”
It took everyone in the room a moment to process what she meant. “YourMajesty,” Eozena said, aghast.
“I wishIcould go gallivanting,” Zeliha added in a grumble. “Better make the most of it, Kadou.”
“Zeliha!” Eozena said. “I need him to stay here until I’ve gotten the situation under control! It’s dangerous!”
“Is it? I think it might belessdangerous out there than staying here in the palace, actually.”
If Eozena had the complexion for it, Kadou thought she would have gone pale. “How can you possibly—That doesn’t make a lick of sense—Zeliha!”
“We’re nervous about whether the kahyalar corps has been corrupted, yes? There are many, many fewer kahyalar down in the city. It’s much safer for him to be in a crowd of people where a handful of kahyalar might attack him and other people will jump to his defense, rather than for him to be in acrowd made entirely of kahyalar.”
Kadou’s gaze cut immediately to Evemer. He watched Evemer process this, consider it from every angle, and . . . abruptly relax several degrees. “Ah,” Evemer said. “Yes.”
Over the next month, Eozena’s exhaustive interrogation of the kahyalar corps turned up several smaller crimes. Small compared to treason, anyway—illegal gambling rings, people who had found ways to cheat on the merit exams, drugs, petty thievery. While Eozena grew ever more tense and felt less and less comfortable confirming kahyalar as definitively loyal and true, Kadou continued his own part of the investigation and went down into the city nearly every night.
It was dreadful and tedious, for the most part—and disheartening besides.
After every hand of cards or every lecture with university students, he’d test each coin he’d won or earned against the genuine ones, an altin and a yira he kept in a special pouch so he could be sure that his touch-taste wasn’t being changed or skewed—a palate cleanser, of sorts. Every coin of every nationality that came into their hands—his or his kahyalar’s—they saved scrupulously until they were able to have it changed into Arasti gold, and then he and Melek tested those too. They changed money at shops and pawnbrokers, a different one every time, and Kadou was not sure whether to be frustrated or relieved when it proved so difficult to find any more counterfeits—perhaps it really was simply a small-time forger working out of a basement or a back room somewhere.
They’d gone out for nine nights in a row, the weather being good. He was once more in his own familiar quarters rather than taking up space in Zeliha’s house, grimly preparing for the tenth night in the very, very plain clothes he was becoming more accustomed to than his princely finery—linen for his underlayer, trousers, and knee-length kaftan; battered secondhand boots; a turban to hide his hair; and a short wool cloak on cooler nights.
It made Evemer look like he wanted to die of horror, of course. Sometimes, on good days, he was bold enough to attempt to convince Kadou to wear a finer underlayer or jewelry in his hair under the turban—it wouldn’t be seen, but Kadou thought the point was thatEvemerwould know it was there, and find it comforting.
This evening, Tadek was leaning against the wall and watching Kadou tie his turban. “Has Evemer had a day off?” he said, breaking a long silence that had passed beyond awkward and looped back around into neutral.
“Er . . . No, not for a while,” Kadou said. “We have a deal. He said he doesn’t mind.”
“Of course. Who would mind attending their prince on fun evening excursions?”
Kadou closed his eyes and took a breath. He’d been expecting this to come up sooner or later. He’d tried several times to make himself have the much-belated conversation he owed Tadek about where they stood—on two occasions, he’d lost his nerve and changed the subject. On another, he’d worded it so poorly and so vaguely that Tadek had entirely missed his point. “He’s not the one having fun, you know. He’s just watching me.”
“Melek’s going with you again tonight?”
Kadou turned, already bracing himself. Tadek had his arms crossed. He was sulking again—not the first time, in these last few weeks. “Is there something wrong?”
“Don’t pretend like you don’t know. Have Idonesomething wrong? Would you even tell me if I had?”
“I’ve been trying,” Kadou said faintly. He was already trembling—this was going to be a fight, then. He braced himself again, breathed through the reflexive clench of terror. It was just another trial from the Lord of Judgment. Just something that had to be gotten through. “Not that you’ve done wrong, just that I . . . It’s difficult, sometimes, with my . . . you know, my affliction.”
“I thought I didn’t count for that. I thought I was an exception.”
“No one’s an exception,” Kadou said with a weak little laugh. “I can’t control it, you know. It’s not about logic. I care about you, and I don’t want to hurt you, and so . . .” He gestured broadly, awhat is there to be done?movement.
“When was the last time wespoke? Not just like this, but in the way we used to. You don’t look at me as much, and you don’t let me touch you anymore.” Tadek pushed himself off the wall and came closer, standing in front of Kadou with his hands on his hips. “Do you think I expect anything of you? Do you think I’m—I’m angling for something? I’ve only wished to serve you, but I thought we were friends, at least.”
“We’re—”
“Please don’t lie to me, Your Highness,” Tadek said sharply. “I can take a lot, but I can’t take that. I presented myself for your use, and you used me as I’d offered. That was fine. But now you avoid me, and you act like you’re embarrassed to be seen with me, and—”
“I am embarrassed,” Kadou said—it came out rather sharp, almost a snap. “But I’m embarrassed of myself, not of you. I’m embarrassed that I need help at all, and that I’m so weak that I need to be coddled like a child. I’m embarrassed that I kept saying yes whenever you offered yourself to beused,as you so bluntly call it.”
“How is that blunt?” Tadek demanded. “That’s what itis.” His jaw clenched, his sharp hazel eyes flashing. “What does Evemer call it?”
Kadou’s heart jolted. “He doesn’t. He wouldn’t—I wouldn’t. Not with him. He doesn’t want—and I don’t either. He’s just my kahya.”
