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Chapter Eight
Ihugged myself, tucked my chin low, and trudged through the snow to meet the three returning men in my yard. Agony burrowed through me as I kept picturing Krampus carrying Britta in his sack. Her cries were knives to my heart, and agony sat in the pit of my stomach. I remembered the time Dad had shoved Britta into the closet when she wouldn’t stop crying. He’d forbidden me from letting her out until she quieted down. She’d cried for hours. I’d hated my father while she’d cried, wanting him to die a cruel death. All the while, he’d laughed at our misery, while our mom had never said a word. Since that incident, Britta had been scared of the dark, and now… Tears pooled in my eyes.
Every time I thought we were getting ahead, something happened to snatch away the hope of our brighter future.
My fingers clenched at my sides as I fought to contain the fury inside me.
I should have returned home last night, regardless of the storm, but how the fuck was I supposed to have known Santa and everything that went with him was real?Fuck! We’d come this far changing our lives for the better, only for me to lose my sister? The fight in me flared, but I struggled to stop the numbness overtaking me. I was well aware that if I lost Britta, I’d have nothing left.
Jax marched toward me, his eyes pleading, his lips downturned. He dragged me into his arms so fast, my head spun. No words, just warmth and his tight embrace. I cried hard against his chest, a flood of emotions ripping through me.
But I’d let her down. Like I had when I couldn’t get her out of the closet.
The icy wind roared around us, my coat flapping against the back of my legs, chilling my skin beneath the long, tousled hair around my neck.
“We’ll find her,” Leven said, and I lifted my head to find him standing so close, he might as well be hugging me as well. He reached over and caught a tear running over my chin.
Tatum approached. He slid a loose strand of hair caught in my lashes away from my face. “He won’t harm your sister. Krampus will be back. It’s you he wants.”
“And Britta is his way of ensuring he gets that,” Leven added.
Anywhere else, I might have been swept off my feet by three gorgeous men paying me so much attention and giving me so much affection. But dread clung to me, and I couldn’t stop crying. I felt as I’d fallen into hell and had no idea how to get out. I never should have picked up that stupid hat in the snow. I should have taken Manuel up on his offer to come with me. I detested living with regrets, but I couldn’t stop feeling as if I were sinking.
Leven stepped aside and knelt by the path Krampus had used to escape. He stared down at the oddly-shaped footprints in the snow. “I can try tracking him, but Tatum’s right, Krampus will be back. He’s fast and could run rings around us before we catch him. So we’re not leaving you alone. We’ll fortify your place and ambush him when he returns.”
My stomach roiled. As much as I feared facing the goat-creature, he had Britta, and every time I imagined what she was going through, I hiccupped a strangled breath.
Trepidation swept over the men’s faces. And I saw the truth on their expressions. They weren’t convinced this would work, but they offered me false smiles. I swallowed the boulder in my throat, feeling torn about what to do next.
“I can’t sit around and do nothing,” I said as I pulled free from Jax’s arms and turned away, wiping my wet eyes. “My sister is out there, terrified by a goddamn real-life monster.” I paced back and forth in the snow, creating a worn path, hugging myself. The world closed in around me, and panic dragged through me, feeling like barbed wire. My breaths raced, and I barely struggled to contain my scream of anger.
The sound of footfalls came from behind me. A hand fell gently on my shoulder, but I shook it off and spun around.
“Don’t touch me,” I snapped, then met three mournful gazes. I regretted my outburst. Regretted how I’d reverted to a scared child in the face of this dilemma. Regretted that I’d shown them that part of myself. I needn’t have feared their touch. They weren’t my father.
“We’d never harm you,” Leven said, his arms by his side, making no move to come closer. “But we’ll lay down our lives to save yours.”
I exhaled loudly, my gut twisting in a knot. “How can you say that?” I sniffled. “What about your lives? I don’t want anyone giving up their life for me.”
“Would you not give up everything for your sister?” Tatum asked, one of his brows arching.
“Of course,” I replied at once, aware how hypocritical I sounded. “But this is different.”
“How?” Jax asked, his head tilting to the side, studying me, and I fought the urge to look away. “We’ve trained for years as warriors in case the moment ever arose that we would need to fight for Santa. I made the vow and accepted my fate long ago. So how is that different from you sacrificing everything for Britta?”
I couldn’t even process what they were saying. They’d only known me for a day. But I didn’t want to get into argument. My anger rose from fear. That part of me I’d locked away so many years ago—now the darkness leaked out. Trapping me. Reminding me I was useless. I wanted to vanish, but I couldn’t leave my sister. Part of me clung to the hope that the men were right because it killed me to think of Britta hurt or worse.
Jana emerged from the front of the house, clasping her overnight bag, and I rushed over to her, wiping the tears away.
“Nickie, are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” she asked.
I shook my head. “No, it’s all right. My friends are here, and I’ve called the police.” My lie sat like a stone in my gut because I wanted to speak to the reindeer guys before I called the cops and dragged the entire town into a search for a mythical monster. Okay, the monster wasn’t fabricated, I knew that now, but I also didn’t need to have Jana injured and her safety on my mind. It was better she was home and protected.
She took my hands in hers, her eyes watering. “I’m so sorry. She was in her bed last night and I didn’t hear a sound.”
So perhaps Krampus could enter homes as easily as Santa did through chimneys?
I hugged Jana, and she trembled against me. “Britta could have gone into the woods to look for me,” I said, but I couldn’t even convince myself as the tears kept falling, and my heart was broken. “We’ll find her.”
