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He stared at me, his eyes a mix of disappointment and yearning. I wanted more, too. But I was terrified to move, to wreck the moment. His fingers locked with mine and squeezed. For now, I was content with that.
“So, let me get this straight, princess,” he said, and I hung on his every word. “You’re royal by blood, but not in your heart?”
I nodded and smiled, even though guilt stabbed me in the chest for admitting it. All I wanted was for freedom from the strict confines of my life. Relief from the pressure put upon me. Pressure I did not ask for or want.
“I’m the same,” Fin admitted. “Well, not royal…noble.”
“I know what you meant.”Wow.Fin’s admission caught me by surprise. Most nobles dreaded a fall from grace. A life without their luxuries was a life not worth living. Neither Fin nor I cared about those things. Finding someone who thought like I did was rarer than discovering a passel of whale teeth. “What brought you to that conclusion?”
“I recognize the same qualities in you,” he answered. “You don’t care for power, prestige, or position.”
How could he tell that about me?
“My aunt’s the Black Grouper of the family,” I said. “She speaks her mind, whether it garners her enemies or not. So do my cousin and I. It doesn’t win us favor with the nobles. In fact, our attitudes and behavior often earns us whispers behind our backs.”
Fin hugged his stomach as he laughed. “Pretension: one of the things I loathed about court.”
Me, too. I nudged him with my elbow. “I couldn’t imagine you saying an ill word about anyone. You’re too nice.”
“You’d be surprised.”
I challenged him with a look to divulge more information.
“My mother died at childbirth,” he said.
I squeezed his hand.
“My father was never there for me,” he went on. “Cheldra, my nanny, raised me. She taught me to be kind, honorable, respectful. Traits my father and his associates did not possess.”
Nannies were typical in some noble families, and were popular even in my father’s brother’s kingdom across the sea. A far cry from the way Triton had raised his brood of wild girls.
“Believe it or not, my father was very involved in his daughters’ lives,” I told Fin. “From picking tutors, overseeing our studies, spending every meal with us, even playing with us…and he always made time to read to us at bedtime.”
Only after we’d hit our teenage years—when our hormones raged and my sisters’ conversations turned to handsome mermen—did my father realize it was time to back off. But not when it came to me. He and I still remained close.
My heart wept for Fin and children like him. I couldn’t imagine not having my parents in my life. They were my rocks. My world. They’d supported me in everything I had done. Even my terrible art. They’d never criticized me for a bad grade. Recalling all these things only strengthened my desire and resolve to free my father from Faraall’s wicked grasp.
“I’m glad you’re close with your father,” said Fin, staring out at the lake. “He’s a merciful king with integrity and compassion.”
I put my hand over Fin’s, and that feeling returned again. This time, he didn’t pull away, and my chest was popping like crystal fireworks.
“Why didn’t your father want you to join the merarmy when it’s an honor to serve the king?” I asked, unable to stop with the questions because I wanted to know everything about Fin.
He gave me a rueful smile that made my heart splinter. “My father, the Earl of the Western Coral Shelf, considers a position within the merarmy below his son.”
Oh, my.So that’s who his father was. A god-awful merman. Known for his ruthlessness in trade. Claiming the lands of adjoining nobles. Running through mistresses after his wife died. The type to stare down his nose at the common merfolk as if they were a grain of sand on his shoe.But Fin didn’t seem a thing like his father. He was polite and respectful, and he cared for his men. Honor meant more to him than wealth, title, and privilege. I admired our similar values and rebelliousness. Any man who defied tradition was very appealing to me. Especially since many of the merfolk customs were millennia old. They needed changing to reflect the current age.
He kicked at a reed floating on the water. “After my mother died, my father’s heart turned black. I didn’t want to travel that path with him.” The bobbing of the apple in his throat conveyed his pain from speaking on the matter. “Now, I’m nothing to my father. I don’t exist.”
My chest wrenched for the choices Fin had made. He’d done what his heart compelled him to do. He’d wanted to be a better man than his father. For those decisions, he’d been disowned and disinherited. That wasn’t fair. But nothing in life was. Especially not for a noble or royal. We didn’t really get a say in our own lives, and if we tried to break free of the constraints, we suffered the consequences.
This insight propelled me to assess my own situation. What if I couldn’t save my father? Would I be banished from the kingdom for refusing to wed Faraall? A fate I’d gladly accept. But I couldn’t float around and do nothing, leaving my family and people to suffer. Unlike my sisters, I didn’t just drift on the current all day, doing my hair, makeup, and nails.
Tears trickled down my cheeks as I squeezed Fin’s wrist. “Your strength inspires me. All I ever wanted was to be free of the expectations put upon me. To be me, not what others demanded of me. Not be tied down by royal duties, like speaking five different dialects, learning politics, understanding the history of Haven. It’s too much responsibility. I crave freedom.”
Poseidon,listen to me blabber. I probably sounded ungrateful for everything the sea god had blessed me with. But I wasn’t. I thanked him every day.
I smiled and stared at my feet. No one had ever called meinspiringbefore. Beside my father, who seemed to have a serious case of rose-colored fins when it came to me and Faraall, everyone always thought I was the silly, rebellious dreamer, good for nothing.
