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"No," Ela assured me. "I think I've proved time and time again that I can hurt people without feeling bad about it. That doesn't seem to be my problem. What I want to be sure of is if I can do these softer sessions. Look at the assignment I have this time. A woman who wants me to tie her up and tell her what to do? That doesn't exactly sound like pain play to me."
"So what are you thinking?" Anver asked. "We all know you well enough to know that you have some kind of a plan by now."
I felt a rush of anxiety from him, and Ela's head dropped so his eyes were locked on the floor. "That's why I wanted us all to talk about this. Thiemo just came over a few days ago and made it clear he would have no problem fucking me." Then he lifted his gaze and turned it on Talin. "I also have no interest in destroying what we have."
That was all it took for Talin to figure out what he was thinking. "Peyron," he said, nodding his head slowly. "Do you think he'd be into that sort of thing?"
"No," Ela said, stopping that line of discussion before it could even start. "I like Peyron, he's a friend, but I don't love him. He's attractive, he's kind, and has done nothing at all to set me off. That's why I think he'd be a good way to test this - but none of that matters if you aren't okay with it, Talin. We need to address howwefeel about it first."
"I am not your partner," Talin countered.
"You're right." Ela agreed. "Instead, you're a man that I fell in love with. Someone whose opinion actually matters to me. You aren't a patron, a casual fuck, or someone I want to destroy. You, Talin, are important to my life, so I want to talk about this. Honest talk, no bullshit, and we all just lay it out there. When we first started talking to Peyron, you were jealous. Now your brother is trying to get a session with me. If there was a list of events that would make me lose my mind, it would sound just about like that."
"You're missing one thing, though," Talin told him. "Before Peyron, I had never seen you around a person you liked before. Anver was the closest we had, and I knew there was a lot of history between all of you. We've talked since then, Ela. I get it. The five of us exist in our world, and some lucky people get to orbit around us. Peyron is one of those. Maybe Thiemo will become one, or maybe not. Either way, I'm honestly okay with it."
So Ela turned to Anver. "What about you? I feel like we just got you back, and I'm talking about setting up dates with another guy. How does that make you feel?"
"I'm going to assume that you mean dates where Nari isn't invited?" Anver asked.
Ela just nodded slowly. "Yeah, because with her around, I don't have to worry about my limits."
"And Wraythe?" Anver asked.
I huffed out a single laugh. "Oh, I'm gonna be there. I honestly don't think he'd hurt the guy, but I also don't want to deal with the problems that would be caused if he did. Even an accidental injury, like somebody falling off the bed, would get blown out of proportion with the way Kinen has been acting lately."
"So long as you have a guardian, I don't see a problem with that," Anver told him. "In case you missed it, I kinda like the fact that you want to fuck other people instead of me."
Once again, Ela dropped his eyes to the ground. I could feel him thinking about this so hard. So many times, Talin had talked about the way his bond with Nari felt, but Ela had always been a more subtle sensation to me. At least he had been before the gods had performed the ritual to give us the sight. Now, it felt like I could sense what he was doing as clearly as I could with Nari - and both were so much more intense than they'd ever been before.
Right now, he was trying to decide who he should talk to next: me or her. The lack of resistance wasn't at all what he'd been expecting. Then again, Ela always expected things to be harder for him than anyone else. He made sure of it, taking the hits so that nobody else would have to. That was how we'd become friends in the first place, and it was what he did for those he loved.
And this was what I did for the ones I cared about. "No one has a problem with it," I told him. "I don't know how to break this to you, but we still trust you. Nothing will make Nari stop loving you. Talin has finally figured out that just because you aren't his official desire, the two of you still have the same kind of bond. Anver has always accepted that you wanted to throw your body at anything that catches your eye."
"He's right," Nari agreed.
So Ela looked up, those dark eyes of his finding mine. "What about you? Do you think I'm making a bad decision, Wraythe?"
I just shook my head. "I think that I'd much rather you broke Peyron instead of anyone else. I think that Savi and Zeal can fix a lot of mistakes. Most of all, I think that you are a beautiful man, and a very sexual creature. It's what makes that monster inside you so fucking powerful. The only thing I don't understand about all of this is why you're trying to resist it. This. Is. You. Ask Peyron for a date. Make sure he knows I'm coming with you. We'll worry about the rest after that."
And Ela's shoulders relaxed. "I just don't want to be the thing that ruins us," he explained. "When Thiemo asked about our relationship - not how we fuck, but how we love - I realized just how lucky I am. So, if everyone really is okay with this, then I want to see Peyron this week, before our session."
Around the room, we all nodded our heads in agreement. For Ela, this was a huge step. I was pretty sure it was the first time he'd actually trusted himself, and I was proud of him for it. I just really hoped this session didn't go bad. I had a feeling that would undo all the progress he'd made so far.
Chapter 22
Nariana
Iwas proud of Ela for bringing this up. It sounded like such an easy thing, but when I tried to imagine asking the guys if they minded me having a date with a lover, I didn't know if I could do it. All this time, we'd told ourselves that it didn't matter, that we knew we couldn't have a real relationship because of our Paths, and yet we'd still managed to make one.
Our relationship might not be the normal kind, and it was based on emotions instead of sex, but that was the problem. Jealousy was an emotion, and a valid one. We all wanted to be the center of each other's worlds, and yet each of us had moments where we longed for something else. Something new, exciting, or just flat-out different. I was pretty sure that even Wraythe had those thoughts, although he would never admit it.
So I decided to bring it up. "You know, this is going to be something that will come up again and again," I told the guys.
"Kinda know that," Talin joked. "Goes with that lace on your hips."
"No," I said, stopping him before we could fall into that old habit. "That's my point. Sessions are different. We all know that those 'dates' are different. We understand that those fucks - or whatever else we do with a patron - aren't an emotional thing. This?" I gestured to Ela to make it clear I meant his situation. "It's different."
"Is that a problem?" Wraythe asked, sounding a little worried.
