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Because just as Tath reached the ground floor, a man stepped out from the side and into his path. All I could see was his back, but I would know that body anywhere. That was Zeal, and the most shocking part was how Tath's eyes widened, proving he could also see our god. Zeal took a step closer to the man, Tath retreated, and they both headed back up the stairs.
I felt like my heart could beat again. "Please tell me you saw that?" I begged.
"Yeah," Anver agreed. "Tath can see Zeal."
"Not what I expected," I told him, but it seemed I'd been overheard.
"What isn't?" Maela's voice made me flinch, but then I turned to her with a relieved smile.
"Hey!" I greeted her. "How miserable is this for you, because I'm getting shunned, I think."
"Oh, I am too," Maela admitted, making it sound like she was amused. "Twice today, I've been told that it's not a wife's place to step into her husband's business. Both times, ironically enough, it was by women." She grunted to show what she thought about that. "But, since I've got you, let me get you those papers, ok? I know you said that the temple is starting to feel the strain, and I have certified letters of responsibility."
She gestured up the same hall where Tath had just been, so Anver and I followed. The second door was not only closed, but also locked. Maela pulled out her keys and opened it, then gestured for Anver and me to go first. I paused, recognizing this room, but inside, it was no longer Tath's office.
Now, it was clearly Maela's. The curtains had been opened, the desk had been cleaned, and the chair had been replaced with something smaller. The spot where Talin had stood that day was still empty, but this room no longer seemed oppressive. It felt official.
"This was where it happened, wasn't it?" Maela asked. "Tath forced you to have a session here."
"He asked," I admitted. "I gave him one. I just can't believe the difference that opening the windows makes."
"I'm sorry," Maela said. "We can do this in another room." And she reached for a stack of papers.
I clasped her outstretched arm. "It's fine, Maela. I wasn't raped. I'm a priestess who does this, but I hated doing it to my friend. I despised that he tried to use me to hurt his brother. I'm also a little surprised that this is clearly no longer your husband's room, and that is impressive."
She visibly relaxed. "I've straightened up. Thiemo helped me organize his mess of paperwork into something we can use. Tath had a stack for what came in, and a stack of what should be sent out that he never got around to. Now, we have it all divided up between the manor, the citizens, and the temple. There's a completely separate place for his personal businesses."
Then she lifted the stack of papers, tapped them together, and reached for a large envelope that would hold them all without the need to fold them. Like she'd done this a few times too many, Maela slipped the papers inside, then wound the string around the clasp to hold it together. But when she was done, she paused for a moment, looking between me and Anver.
"I can..." she tried.
"I have a pocket that will hold those," Anver assured her. "One of the things Jamik encouraged us all to do is get our coats altered for the needs of our desires." Then he smiled at me.
So Maela handed him the papers. While Anver worked that into a secret flap on his lining, I decided to ask about what I'd seen earlier. I had a feeling Maela needed to know that Tath had almost interrupted the party.
"Did you know Tath was coming downstairs?" I asked.
She shook her head with a shocked look on her face. "He had to have heard everyone!"
"And Zeal met him at the bottom of the stairs," I went on. "It was like Zeal ushered him back up to his room, so I'm curious if things are getting better at all? Maela, your husband looks like he hasn't eaten in weeks!"
"He'd rather not," she admitted. "All he wants to do is drink, and the harder the liquor, the better. He tried to have Thiemo buy opium for him last week." She sighed. "But I have talked to him. I told him I was pregnant - which did not go well. Later that night, he came to my room and asked about the baby. He wanted to know if it was his. I made it clear that I want no other man, and I told him that I knew about the mistresses, so I didn't understand why he was so upset about his session with Ela." She paused to lick her lips. "And I used that phrase, trying to make it sound as normal as possible."
"And?" I asked.
She shrugged. "He said that his father made it very clear. Men do not lie with men. He said that the Ranndors have to resist the lure of our god, and that we cannot run a barony if we're the laughingstock of the citizens we rule over. Tarben's words to him, supposedly." She clenched her jaw and shook her head. "And he made it clear that men would never want such things. He has to be a good man, a respectable man, and now everyone knows, so he's hoping that enough time will make his drinking into the new story instead of his fucking. That man!"
"It seems to be working, though," Anver admitted. "I'm sure it's also hard for you."
"No, it's not," Maela insisted. "I mean, Yamina and I have more excuses to be alone now. We go riding together to check on the leased properties. We can take Haryth to play on the days when the weather's nice, or even just for a ride in the cart around the city. Having Tath drink himself stupid is actually making my life easier."
"Which doesn't mean it's not hard," Anver countered. "Trust me, my ward and my desire are not the same person. The world sees me as responsible for a woman who tries to make me miserable, and no matter how much I hate her, I still feel guilty about ignoring her. I keep thinking that if I could just do the right thing for her, then she'd stop acting like such a selfish bitch."
Maela closed the distance between them and wrapped Anver in a hug. "Yeah," she breathed against his shoulder. "It's just like that." Then she leaned back to see his face. "But he's the one making me choose, and I choose to be happy. I choose to serve my god, and Zeal took that position when I agreed to get married. I love this home that we have, my son..." And she pressed a hand to her stomach. "And soon, my daughter. I want more from Tath, but at the same time, I don't love him anymore."
"That has to be hard," I realized.
She nodded. "It is. He's the father of my children. He was supposed to be my happy ending. Now, I'm starting to see that he was my chance for a new beginning. When I was a girl, I prayed for a life where I'd be more than just a mother. I wanted to be useful, important, and respected by my lover. I'm starting to realize that the gods answered my prayers. Maybe not the way I expected, but they did grant me every single thing I dreamed of. I just have to be strong enough to take the chance."
