AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"I heard." She smiled as she said it, but that only made me even more aware of the fact that we hadn't yet talked.
Since there was no place more private here than this, I decided to just speak up. "Please tell me I didn't go too far this morning?"
"No," she assured me. "If you and Wraythe hadn't stepped in, I was going to use the statue on his head."
"Where was Zeal?" I asked.
Her eyes darted away. "He asked. I told him I had it."
"Nari..."
"But I had it," she insisted. "Ela, I have four men to protect me. Do you have any idea what that feels like? Why am I on the Path of Protection if I can't take care of myself? Why am I a Priestess of Action if I'm always waiting for someone else to do it for me? I had it. I knew I could hold him off."
"Yeah, but..." I tried.
"I also knew you were coming," she admitted. "All three of you."
That was what I needed to hear. She hadn't felt abandoned. She hadn't given up on us. She'd been fighting so she could prove herself, not because she'd given up hope.
"All I want is to take care of you," I said softly.
But she looked up and a crease formed in her brow. "No," she said. "Ela, I don't want to be the center of your world like that. I don't want to be your purpose or your sole reason for living. I want to be someone you seek out and look forward to. I want to be a part that you include while you refuse to stop being the amazing and complicated man I love." But her head twitched and she missed a step. "An equal, not a responsibility. That's what Zeal means!"
"But you are," I assured her. "That's the whole reason I want to make sure you're ok, Nari. I don't want to own you or expect you to behave like a Priest of Obligation, here to serve me when I need something. I want you, the woman who can giggle with me about Talin's ass as he stretches. The one who will tell me exactly what it feels like to fuck Wraythe. I want to make sure that I never need another partner, because you are my everything." I lifted my hand to cup the side of her face. "And if Tath tries to touch you again, I won't let him off so easily."
"I wouldn't call what you did to him 'easy,'" she countered. "And I've been waiting for you to crash."
"I'm not going to," I promised.
"You always do," she said. "What you do is hard, Ela. Let's not try to pretend it isn't."
"Fighting myself was hard," I explained. "Thinking you were going to be scared of me - or worse, that I might hurt you? That was hard. When Anver saw me after I carved the triangle into Ciella's neck, chest, or whatever you want to call it? When he stood up and wanted to hold me? That was when it finally made sense."
"What did?" she asked.
"The concern I kept seeing in your eyes was worryforme, not because of me," I said. "I could see the fear in all of your eyes: you, Wraythe, and even Talin. I would hurt someone, and each of you would have concern all over your faces. I kept thinking that it was the first step before you stopped trusting me."
"No..." she breathed.
I simply swept my thumb across her cheek. "And I get that now. You were worried about me the exact same way I wanted to take care of you today. It's because we love each other, Nari. When Anver - after leaving us because he had problems with my ropes - just wanted to hold me, it finally made sense. And when we were at Sandrest?" I leaned in closer and lowered my voice. "I realized that Wraythe and Talin have swords. Me? I have this. I couldn't stand seeing that man taunt you in front of his wife. I couldn't tolerate the way he treated Maela. I wanted to make him hurt, and all of you kept encouraging me, so I climbed inside this monster. I stopped trying to be something else."
"And that's why you didn't crash?" she asked.
I nodded. "Those crashes were all the thoughts I didn't have time for in the moment. The fears that came with you seeing what kind of horrors I could do to Faylie. The worry of Talin thinking I was too rough with Tishlie. All of that is what makes me crash."
"Insecurities," she said, nodding to show she understood. "But I love the monster you are. I fell in love with a boy who could destroy others with just his words. Why wouldn't I love a man who can do even worse with his body?"
"And that is why I will never let anyone hurt you," I swore. "In all my darkness, you only see the light. In all your light, I can see your darkness. I'm not scared of being a punisher anymore. I want to share it with you, Nari. You are the only person who can truly understand what it is I want to do to these people."
"What about Talin and Wraythe?"
I shook my head. "No. They accept it, but they don't understand it. They're comfortable with it, but they will never be put in the position of using their sexuality to change the story. For them, they have a blade for that. For us, we have seduction, and we areverygood at it."
"Yeah, we are," she agreed. "Thank you, Ela. For this morning, I mean. For being the monster I needed at the moment I needed you."
I pulled her to a stop right there in the middle of the dance floor. "Never thank me for that. I am your weapon, Nari. Wield me as you want. Use me in any way you need." Then I leaned in until my lips were little more than a hair from hers. "And the next time my hand ends up on your throat, I won't pull it away."
She pressed in to close the distance, kissing me hard right there in front of everyone. My lips parted and our tongues tangled. Her body leaned into mine, filling all the hollows, and I had to fight to keep my hand from moving lower on her back. Let the people around us watch. I didn't care if they were shocked, scandalized, or jealous. This was my claim on this woman, and I wanted to make sure the entire world knew that we really did belong together.
