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Because Ghale was standing right in the doorway. I reached up and rubbed her shoulder since it was all I could do. "We left late, and it's our first time." But I dreaded this as much as she did.
The moment we stepped into the room, Ghale grumbled under his breath. I turned Nari toward where her class mentor was stretching, then turned for my own area, but that didn't seem to be good enough. Ghale cleared his throat, all but making us both stop.
"Do you know what time it is?" he asked, looking right at Nari.
"I forgot to set her alarm," I lied. "I didn't realize it until we were supposed to leave."
"You are not a child," Ghale told Nari. "Your guardian is not your slave. I would've thought that you, of all people, would understand that."
"No," she said, "It's not like that..."
"Then what's it like?" Ghale demanded.
"I offered to do it and forgot," I said, stepping closer.
Ghale's head whipped around to me. "I didn't ask you. Go warm up, Talin."
"It's fine," Nari assured me. "I'm getting used to this."
And that killed a little piece of me. "Which is why it'snotfine," I told her. "You may be a guardian, but I'm still matched to you."
"Talin..." she begged.
Pulling in a deep breath, I stepped back, but turning away was the hardest thing I'd ever done. Each time our instructors went after her like this, it felt like a little piece of me was dying. I knew she wanted to handle this, and my desire wasn't weak - I didn't want her to feel that way either - so I went. I also lashed out, slamming my fist into the side of the training rail as I passed.
"Easy there," Lurel said when I got to the space where we always warmed up together.
"Fucking asshole's trying to tear down my desire," I snarled, unable to keep the anger from my voice.
She reached over and caught my arm, making me look at her. "Long, deep breaths, Talin. Maintain your control, because if you're angry, she'll feel like she has to protect you too. Blow it off and let her see that this doesn't matter to you."
"They're breaking her," I hissed, daring to glance back. "Don't you get it? The rest doesn't matter, but this? She wants so badly to be what her god wants, and they're making that impossible. She has to choose between her god and her temple, and shecan't!"
Standing before Ghale, Nari looked so beautiful. Her delicate face, those large golden eyes, and her pouty lips gave her the impression of being fragile, but the tension in her jaw proved she was pissed. Her dark hair was pulled back, exposing her entire face. At her side, her fists were clenched, and whatever she was saying was too soft for me to hear. I didn't need to. I could tell that our instructor was doing his best to make her simply quit.
"Hey..." Lurel pulled me around again so I couldn't see Nari. "What's going on? Talk to me, Talin?"
"Ghale and Oryll are grading her harder because they're trying to make it clear she should've picked a Path. Even if she's the best, she'll be scored the worst." I ducked my head and scrubbed my face, trying to make this need to pummel the man go away. "If he makes her cry, I will destroy him."
The last words were soft, and Lurel wasn't supposed to hear them, but she did. "How strong is your bond to that woman?" she asked.
"Strong," I promised.
"And getting stronger, it sounds like," she pointed out. "Talin, close your eyes. Can you still feel her?"
I figured it was worth trying, so did. I simply had no idea what I was looking for. Or feeling for, as the case may be. And yet I could sense this weight. It reminded me of what it had been like when my father was dying. Doom and gloom was the best I had to describe it. Some ominous knowledge that this simply couldn't end well.
"I don't know if that's me or her," I admitted as I opened my eyes.
"What do you feel?" she asked.
"Hopelessness," I said. "It's not quite despair, but it's close."
"How do you fight that?"
I threw up my hands. "I have no idea, Lurel! I want to say take away the problem, but I kinda can't."
"So change the outcomes," she told me. "Find a tolerable backup plan."
