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He canted his head to the side as he watched me. "Isthatwhat's been bothering you all day?"
"Yeah," I breathed. "It's always the same thing. I don't do well in front of others. Not like one or two people. I'm talking about large groups - like the entire class. Oryll knows it, and he keeps calling me out! Today, he asked me to describe what we'd done in our pain practice, and... " I tossed up my hands. "It wasn't sexy."
"So how do I make it better?" he asked.
"I don't know, make me not turn stupid when I'm the center of attention? I mean, how am I supposed to do this thing? How can I be Zeal's Chosen, or save the gods, if I can't even make a coherent sentence in front of an audience!"
He slowly bobbed his head, clearly taking my concerns to heart. "Then we make sure you don't work in front of an audience. Not until you're ready."
"This whole course is about being on display," I countered. "Our final is to have sex in front of the class. Remember the deepthroating thing for Sexual Orientation? We had to swallow that dildo while standing or kneeling in front of the whole class!"
"And you aced it," he pointed out.
I just paused. "But I failed."
"No, Oryll failed you. Those two things are not the same, Nari. You made the entire class take note. Oryll lied and said you used your teeth. That doesn't make it true!"
"Yeah, but - "
"No," he interrupted. "You're bracing for the punishment you know is coming." Then he gestured around the room. "You, the girl who has mastered one of the most depraved men I know. You're not scared of punishment. You don't flinch away from pain, but this? The idea of everyone seeing you fail?"
"Of letting down Zeal," I corrected.
His pale blue eyes met mine, trapping me. "He means a lot to you, huh?"
"He's our god."
That just made Talin's lips curl slightly. "Nice deflection, but that's not what I'm talking about, beautiful. Zeal is more than simply a god to you. He's definitely a friend. After this weekend? I would say he's also a lover. My question is howyoufeel about that. Is he an obligation or an excitement?"
My eyes moved to the partially demolished room around us. In truth, I'd never even thought about it like that. Zeal was Zeal. He was the God of Temptation. He was the leader of my faith, and a man who needed help. He was beautiful, powerful, and sensual, but lately something had been shifting. It had started when I kissed him while studying, became real that day we'd gone ice skating, intensified when he'd climbed inside my skin the last time, and culminated in the moment of orgasm with his mouth on my pussy.
He tempted me. That wasn't a surprise at all. It was his nature, after all, but this was more. At some point in the last few months, my god had also become one of us. He'd become a man I wanted to touch, a friend I could lean on, and someone I could actually trust. No, not the same way as my guys, but his rules were different. He couldn't tell me everything. I actually understood that. His responsibilities were just too big.
Wait. Responsibilities. That was what was bothering me. Ignoring the question of how I felt about Zeal for a moment, I turned back to Talin and caught his hand.
"I feel like I'm shirking my responsibilities if I fail. Not just to Zeal, Talin. To you, to Ela, and to Wraythe. That's what's bothering me about Oryll's classes. If I'm not on the Path of the Body, then what happens to you? Who is brave enough to be Ela's partner? How would that change my relationship with Wraythe?"
"Well, since I have a feeling that Zeal won't change your Path, I'm pretty sure I'll stay bonded with you. We both know that Ela wouldn't take another partner. Regardless of what room you're supposed to be in, you'd stay with Ela and Wraythe, and I'd follow blindly. Nari, whether the temple recognizes our union or not, we're still a partnership. All five of us."
"Zeal," I said, knowing that was who he'd added as the fifth.
Talin nodded slowly. "He's claimed you. He looks at you the way Wraythe does. Stop worrying about us, ok? We'll figure it out, and no matter what happens, we're not going anywhere. We've figured out how to make things work so far, right? And two of us were ringed to keep us celibate."
I chuckled at that because he had a point. "Ok, so what am I supposed to do?"
"Stop acting like a good little Priestess of the Body," he said. "Nari, you are on the Path of Temptation. The rules do not apply to you. The trick is convincing yourself to believe that. You have to lift your chin and stare that man down. Seduce him if you must. I don't even care. Try something, and if it doesn't work, then try something else, ok?"
"Ok," I agreed.
"And tell me you're falling for Zeal?" he added.
My teeth found my lower lip and I glanced away. "I'm kinda falling for Zeal," I admitted. "Well, that might be pushing it, but he does turn me on, and I like his company. I don't feel about him the way I do you, Ela, and Wraythe, but..." I wobbled my head from side to side. "I'd throw him on the bed if I thought he'd let me."
"So it's getting there," Talin said, summing that up. "I can work with that. Last question: what are we doing about this?" He canted his head toward the dresser.
"We're making sure Ela knows that we all trust him," I said. "That's it."
"Wrong aspect," Talin clarified. "Nari, how are you going to work with him if he's a punisher and you're not a submissive? How will you both fit together in joint sessions?" He clasped his hands together and rocked them between his knees. "Have you thought about studying pain play as a dominant?"
