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But Wraythe isn't my guardian.I'd lost count while he talked to me, but the line of students was now a very short one.
He is, Zeal insisted.And Eladehl is too. Use them, Nari. Use, not pamper. Abuse them if you must, because I will always help when you need it. You are my partner. You are my Chosen, and they are what you value most. I give you my word that I will protect them with everything I have, even when it pains me to leave you hurting.
Because this was part of surrendering. It was giving him the power to take care of me. No, them. All of them. I didn't need to be weak. I didn't need to give up my power. I just had to share it, to step back when I wasn't the best for the task. Zeal had given me a family. He'd made sure I was loved. The only thing he'd ever asked of me was to just let go and give in.
I'd allowed him to drown me in his tears only to find that I could breathe. I'd let myself be bound and beaten, yet when things went bad, Talin had stopped it. The idea of being helpless was the most terrifying thing I could imagine. I'd refused to think about that session, never allowing myself to dwell on the sight of blood coating Talin, of the horror on Wraythe's face, the fury on Jamik's or the desperation in Ela's eyes.
I'd hoped that pushing it away would erase it, but it hadn't. I'd forced myself to push through my concerns with being bound that completely. If I had my legs, or a way out, then I could take care of myself, but I wasn't alone. I didn't have to be. They'd always been there to help. Eladehl, Wraythe, Talin, Zeal, and even Anver would pick me up, help me down, and shelter me from everything, if only I could let them - and I wanted to.
So I let go.
Peace filled me just as the last student dropped to the ground. The feeling of Zeal grew, power rushed into my body, and the god turned us toward my instructor. I curled up in the back of my mind, hugging against his awareness, and I could feel Zeal's pleasure. He was a god, but also a man, and he was finally getting the chance to prove that his words weren't empty.
"Come," he called to Ghale. "To challenge my Chosen is to stand against me." And he grabbed the neck of my shirt and tugged it lower, exposing the five-headed snake in the middle of my god-lace collar. "This is the mark of my favor, of my bond to them as much as their bond to me. She has proven herself time and time again. Now it is your turn, Priest."
His voice boomed from my throat. Everyone in the room stilled, even Ghale. Zeal merely lifted my hand and crooked a finger, daring the man to come closer.
"Come, Priest. Test my Chosen. See if we are worthy. Her Shield will give us the call."
"I can do that, Zeal," Wraythe assured him.
Ghale looked around the room, but in confusion instead of desperation, and seemed to come to a decision. The man straightened and made his way closer, taking his time about it. Zeal just smiled, curling my lips with a satisfaction that consumed me. He was ready to be seen, eager to prove his point, and loving that so many would witness this.
Ghale made it onto the sand, but Wraythe didn't rush him. He waited until our instructor was ready, and then called out, "Fight!"
I let go, refusing to hinder my god in any way. This was not my fight, it was his. I was just the tool, here to be used, and I was ok with that. Ghale stepped to the side, his eyes watching us, and then he struck once. Zeal blocked it with a speed my body didn't have, then traded a hit back. My hand made it through to slap against Ghale's shoulder. As if that was some kind of signal, the fight was on.
Ghale snatched at my arm, Zeal pushed him back. My instructor kicked out, his leg hitting my side hard, but Zeal didn't even let us stagger. He simply powered through it, pressing his advantage. I could hear the other students gasp in shock, but I was helpless. I was bound inside my own head, trapped by my body, and unable to do a thing without making it worse.
But that was the point. That was what Zeal wanted me to know. That sometimes doing nothing was just as good as doing everything. Surrender was about more than being weak. It was about working together. Letting go was faith, and not just the kind I had for my god. It was the same as what I had with my men. Blind trust, complete devotion, and more than that, it was love.
That was the feeling that bound Zeal to me so tightly. It was what allowed him to slip inside my skin. All I had to do was give him the space to be him, and he could make me so much more. I'd always thought of surrender as a weakness, a flaw that should be avoided or something to be ashamed of. Instead, it was the source of my god's power. It was what fueled him, and it meant the power came from me, to him, and would always be given back.
Ghale tried hard to hold his own, but he didn't stand a chance. The man struck. Zeal blocked. Ghale tried to contain me, throw me, or somehow stop me, but that wasn't going to happen. Time after time, Zeal allowed the man to show off his best effort, thwarting it with little more than a skip of my feet or a shrug of my shoulder. Once it was clear that Ghale was helpless before us, then and only then, did Zeal finally make his move.
We stepped, my hand shoved Ghale off balance, my leg hooked around his waist, and then Zeal flung us to the ground, flipping the man down just so we could wrap my knee around his neck in a leg hold. Ghale tried to pry my leg away, but I had the strength of a god, and there was nothing he could do.
So he slapped the ground, conceding the fight. "She gets an excellent," he panted. "If that's what you want, Zeal, then she gets an excellent for the year."
Zeal released my legs and then leaned forward, right into the man's face. "Iwantedyou to train her. Instead, you played games. Now it's my turn. These are the gamesweplay, and you had best warn your partner thatIam who he should impress. I am the god here - do you understand?"
"Yes, Zeal," Ghale breathed.
"Good." Then Zeal pushed me to my feet and marched us toward the exit of the sand pit. "Blade! Do not let her fall."
"Never," Talin promised, moving to meet us.
Just as his hand found my arm, Zeal left, and my body went weak. Talin pulled me against his chest, his eyes locked on my face, but it was ok. I didn't hurt. My aches from the session were gone. My head spun, but it was already fading.
And a smile found my lips. "I just had to let go," I breathed as I got my feet back under me. "It's easier when I don't try to fight him."
"When you surrender completely," Talin breathed. "Ghale, she's done."
Still sitting in the sand, the man nodded. "Yes, I think the point's been made. She's not a Priestess of Protection. She's the Priestess of Temptation, and I think we were just shown what that means."
Chapter 67
Nariana
