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"You're making her a god," Wraythe said.
My heart stalled. That made so much sense. Zeal called her his partner. He gave her powers that were unimaginable. She'd taken him in, surrendered completely, and had become a little more divine each time. Nari was impossibly perfect and wonderfully flawed at the same time. She was almost as divine as Zeal, but what did that mean for me? For all of us?
"I cannot make gods," Zeal said, his gaze jumping over to me. "I can expand her. I can improve her. I can offer her the use of what I am, just like how Lady Ranndor can run the barony. I can't take her from you. Any of you." He paused. "I wouldn't."
"And when she dies?" I asked.
"Then it's out of my hands," Zeal said. "Gods do not make gods. Humans do. But this?" He gestured to the bedroom door. "It's because of my brother. Will kissed her."
"Jealous much?" Anver teased.
Zeal grumbled in a way that proved he was still angry at the God of Ambition. "A kiss allows us to touch your soul. It brings us inside you just enough. Having Ambition call to her like that? She's pushing herself becauseheis tired of waiting. Will doesn't want to let her grow up. He wants to be heard, to regain his power, and she has the potential to make that happen, so he pushed."
"In the snow," I said, remembering that. "But you called him!"
"I hoped he would help meexplainwhy she needs to rage and fight instead of submit and accept," Zeal grumbled. "I do not care if she passes her courses, butshe does. Now more than ever before. She wants to be perfect. She thinks she needs to be seen as good enough to keep others from questioning me." He looked over at Ela. "Sound familiar?"
"Very," Ela agreed, because that was the same thing he'd done for so long. "It's also a way of fighting back, Zeal. When people say you aren't good enough, it's natural to want to show them you're better than they think. Plus, it's her shielding you. This is how she feels she can keep you safe, by making sure there's no question about your choice of a Chosen." Then he looked at the rest of us. "And we're her guardians. So, let's help her. If we have to fucking carry her through the rest of this year so that everyone else sees only her beauty and sensuality, then I'm willing to do it."
"Besides her homework - " I asked, "which I'm more than willing to take over - what else can we do?"
"Tell her she's amazing," Anver said. "Remind her that she's not supposed to do this alone. Guys, this is Nari. When does she break? When she feels like she's not good enough. When she feels like she's unwanted - so we make sure she knows just how wanted she is. She'll never ask for it, but she still needs to hear it."
"Tell her we love her more often," Wraythe said, nodding in agreement. "That we're here for her. Make it clear that this isn't fair."
"But not too much," Ela countered. "If we do nothing but bitch about it, that will drag her down more. Just make it simple. This sucks, they're picking on you, but just watch, you'll show them because you always do. That sort of thing."
"And remind her what she's working for," Zeal said. "Nari chose this Path because she didn't want to lose the ones she loves. Now you're all slipping away. Slowly, and you're doing it while standing right beside her, but all she has time for is the next class, the latest homework, and more hours with her nose in a book than a mouth on her skin."
"I should come over less," Anver said, sounding like he hated the idea. "So I'm not disrupting."
"No," I said before even the others could. "Anver, it's not you."
"I'm not in this family," he pointed out.
Wraythe tapped the end of his pen on the table, clearly thinking. "Do you still love her?"
"Always," Anver swore.
"Do you still love Ela?"
The pair quickly looked at each other, then their eyes jumped to focus on anything else.
I waved them down. "Not a fair question, Wraythe."
"All I'm saying is that I'm the odd one out here," Wraythe told me. "I'm in love with Nari. Just Nari. I love you three, but like..." He grumbled under his breath. "Not brothers. No, it's nothing like a brother, but it's not the way you guys feel about each other."
"It's like a confidant," Ela offered. "A friend so close there are no lines. No reason to worry about what he sees or thinks because we're in this for the same reason."
"Yeah," Wraythe agreed. "But that's the thing. Anver's included in that. I don't give a shit what he sees, and I'm not going to suddenly become shy in front of him. Ela, I can't see you doing that either. Look, Nari's happiest when she thinks we love each other as much as she loves us. To her,we'rethe reason she's doing this." His eyes jumped to the end of the table. "Even you, Zeal. She is willing to go through so much to take care of those she loves. Now, you're a god, and maybe you're using her, but we're just men. All of us love her. These guys love each other - even if they won't admit it. That's her safety net, right? The ties that bind all of us together?"
"In a way, yes," Zeal admitted.
"And she ended up on this Path because she refused to choose," Ela said, sitting up a little more. "Not because she didn't have an idea, because after she fucked you, Talin, shecould'vepicked Body. She didn't want to choose because she was scared of pulling Wraythe from me!"
"She was," Zeal agreed. "She never said it out loud, but it was one of her many fears. She just didn't want to hurt you. Any of you."
"She didn't want to let me down," Ela corrected. "That's her thing. She doesn't want to disappoint us, because that's when people push her away. SheknewI needed Wraythe. She didn't get that I also needed her. That wealldo."
