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"Ok." He stepped closer. "There may have been a thing with a mouth, and then I was done. I've been ringed for like fifteen years now. Certain things know better than to happen."
"Couldn't get hard again because it's always been torture," I clarified. "Technical terms make it easier. My big brother taught me that."
"Smart guy," he teased. "Now keep walking. I am hungry, and you do have another class after this." But after only a few steps, he said, "Shalsa's ok with it."
"I figured she'd be." I stepped closer to hang my arm around his waist. "Irila?"
"Amerlee was going to talk to her with Shalsa. He only made the offer to me, though. Do you think..."
"Yes," I told him. "I think if she prays, and she believes, it'll happen. I think if all of you pray, it may happen while she's still learning to believe. That's how it worked for Wraythe and Talin. I also think you're the only man with three women."
"And thus the problem," he grumbled. "I am too old to be thinking like some idiot teenager, but the truth is that Shalsa said something, and now I'm not sure this was a good idea."
But the conversation had to pause when we reached the dining hall. There were simply too many people around, and too many problems that could arise if they heard the wrong thing. Together, we made our way through the line, got our meals, and then found a table at the side of the room to give us some more privacy.
Jamik immediately dug into his meal, which made me match him. I had a feeling he was nervous about this talk, but in truth, it kinda felt good. It made me feel like he finally believed I was a woman and old enough to be treated as an equal.
"What did Shalsa say?" I finally pressed.
"That they'll have less need for pleasure aids now." His eyes never left his plate.
"That's an offer, Jamik, not a command. She's letting you know that when and if you're ever ready, she's interested in sharing Amerlee with you. Is that something you want?"
"Every man wants multiple girls. Well, every man that's into women, at least. No different than you and your guys. I promise, if you asked them, they'd jump at the chance to be pinned between you and another woman."
I thought about it for a moment. "Not Eladehl, but make that me and a guy, and yeah. I see your point. I just don't see why this bothers you."
"I don't want to mess this up," he mumbled. "It was easier when I was the friend. Out of bounds. We knew where we stood, and now it's like someone tore down the fence separating us."
"Nervous?" I asked.
"Terrified," he said. "I love Amerlee like my own life. She is the center of my world. Irila's always been my friend. One of the guys, for lack of a better description. We could talk about weapons, techniques, or how we handled an unruly patron. Shalsa has always loved Amerlee. She's been a good friend to me, but never more."
I paused to take another bite of my meal. "How do you feel about Shalsa?"
"She's beautiful," he admitted.
"Feel," I said again.
"I don'tknow, Nari," he insisted. "It's never been like that before."
"So start there," I told him. "Get to know her. You know, both of those women - Amerlee and Shalsa - know what they're doing with their bodies. They aren't looking to you for some performance level. They want the man who's been a part of their lives for so long. They want this..." And I leaned across the table to tap his chest, right over his heart. "Living with Talin and Wraythe, I can tell you thateverythingI did was to not push them. It was always in the back of my mind. No jokes that crossed the line, no looking in the wrong place, and all the compliments were always safe ones. I'm willing to bet it's the same for them."
"But what if I'm not what they want?" he asked.
"You are Amerlee's best friend. You are herguardian. You are Shalsa's companion and Irila's partner. The four of you work. You alreadyknowthat. Your problem is that you seem to think you're now responsible for something new, and you're not. Theonlydifference is that things can take one more step toward the physical."
"What if I suck?" he asked.
"You will." I caught his hand. "Once, you told me that no one is a master at anything their first time. Jamik, when I first kissed Eladehl and Wraythe, you told me it was ok. You said I should experiment to see what I liked. Why is this different?"
"Because we arenotchildren, Nari. The four of us have lived together for more than a decade. We're comfortable, andhappythe way we were. You were a child, playing with boys you might never see again. It's not the same."
"And yet it is, because they're still with me. Know why?" I smiled at him as gently as I could. "Because after I talked to you, I talked to them. Because the people I trusted most told me that it was ok to admit when I was afraid, or excited, or unsure. You and Amerlee gave me the courage to say we should slow down, and those boys? They cared about me enough to listen. Do you honestly think that Amerlee, Shalsa, or Irila will be any different?"
He huffed out a dry laugh. "When did you grow up on me?"
"When did you start trusting me enough to talk about this stuff?" I countered.
