AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Anver shoved right into his face. "She made me feel like a man, and compared to you, I was never going to be anything but a boy. She made me feel like I was needed, and with the two of you around, I never was. She made me feel like I was on the inside, not the freak at your show."
"You," Wraythe told him, "did that to yourself. We just accepted you as you were. We let you set your own limits,and we were ok with them."
"I know," Anver breathed. "Trust me, I know. You did it so well that you made me believe everyone else would, and I was wrong. Believe it or not, I hate myself for it." He turned his head away and pulled in a deep breath. "I had the best thing ever, and I thought the grass would be greener. I assumed that our openness meant it was ok. I honestly believed that with someone less terrifying, things would be different, and I could finally benormal."
The pain in his words hit me hard. Hard enough that I stepped in to wrap my arms around him, pulling his head against my shoulder. Anver's arms raised to grip my back, and for just a moment, he clung to me.
"You are normal," I said softly. "You're just as normal as I am, but the other end of the spectrum. You completed us, Anver."
"And now Talin does," he mumbled against my shoulder. "I loved you, Eladehl. And her."
I tilted his face up, easing him back, and then kissed the spot beneath his eye. "Then stop avoiding us. We don't hate you. We're just hurt, and that's never going to heal unless we try. I miss you."
Anver nodded. "I am trying, it's just not easy." He stepped back. "And I've probably stayed too long. Just..." He took another step up the hall. "Take care of her?"
"Promise," I told him.
Wraythe and I both watched him walk away. When Anver finally turned the corner, Wraythe looked down at me. "You're letting him off easy."
"You're being too hard on him."
He grunted in disapproval. "He made hercry."
"So. Did. You."
"When?"
"The day she fucked Talin. I'm pretty sure that was the straw she needed to convince her to go. She made you cry - "
"It was fucking dust from packing," he grumbled.
I ignored it. "And you made her cry. Sounds to me like we all made Anver cry, so it's kinda fucked up all the way around, right? It was also a fewyearsago, and we all keep rubbing salt in those wounds instead of fixing our mess. You really going to hold that shit against him for the rest of his life? All he did was get swept up in the moment. Sounds kinda like some big guy kissing the pretty girl who tried to save him, huh?"
"Don't you fucking compare me to him." Wraythe clenched his jaw, giving his head a twist. "The difference is that I wasn't already with someone."
"Andwemade it clear that loyalty wasn't possible so we didn't expect it. Not if we were going to be Priests of the Body. We also never stopped to explain what wedidexpect. I abandoned him for Nari. She abandoned him for you. Why is that any different from him abandoning us for Tishlie?"
"Because Tishlie wasn't one of us," he growled.
I pointed in his face. "Neither was Nari, until she was. And Anver tried to bring Tishlie in, butweshut her out. We're the ones who made himchoose.So, you need to think about why one of those is ok and the other isn't." I took a step across the hall, aiming for the door that didn't belong to Wraythe. "And I do too," I mumbled under my breath, "because it still fucking hurts."
"Heard that," Wraythe said, just as I knocked.
"Fuck off!" came through the wood, mimicking my thoughts.
So I turned the handle and walked in. Not surprisingly, Wraythe was right behind me. Talin's room was the mirror opposite to Wraythe's, turned to face left everywhere that his faced right. Immediately inside was a small table and two chairs. Past that was a bed with nothing to separate it from his living space. On that bed was Talin, curled up with his back to me. The sheet was tangled around his waist, and a pillow had been pulled over his head, but that wasn't what caught my eye.
It was the arm flopped over his eyes. With his palm facing upward, I had the perfect angle to see a new mark inside his right bicep. I'd looked at this man's body enough to memorize every dark block and intricate swirl. This, however, was like none of them. It was like no god-lace I'd ever seen before. This looked a lot like a symbol.
"What's on your arm?" I asked.
Talin sucked in a breath as if he was finally waking up. "I said to fuck off."
"And I want to know why you put a fuckingmarkon your arm when we're already dealing with the shit Nari's going through!"
"What?" Still groggy, he pulled the pillow down in front of him and looked at his arm. He naturally turned his elbow to see the outside.
"Inside of your bicep," I said, making it clear he wasn't getting out of this so easily.
