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"Yes?"
"You've hardly eaten. Are you feeling okay?"
"Just tired," I tell him, not that the statement is a lie. Just like the day before, using my powers has wiped me out. It's just been a lot less bloody than the day before.
He smiles indulgently at me, but there's a flicker of unease in his eyes.
"Of course, my darling. It may be hard to believe, but it will get easier every day. Once you discover how to direct it, it will become like second nature."
I nod at him and continue to pick at my salad while he chatters on. I feel guilty that I feel relieved when he drops me off at the door to my room, kissing me on the cheek before saying goodnight. Aiden is so into this, whatever this is. I feel like I have to try and put forward the same effort just for the sake of what we were. If it doesn't work out…well Aiden lived without me for thousands of years. Surely it would be okay?
Gwenny stops by my room to give me another cup of liquid that contains the drops of sleeping tonic, and I enjoy another dreamless night of deep sleep.
The next week passes similarly. Everyday Aiden brings me to the fairy circle, and every day we practice magic. It hasn't started to become easier yet. I try to channel whatever feeling that was that led to the growth of the rose bushes, but it's difficult to replicate. Some days it works perfectly, and I have vines shooting around the glen at my will, or I'm directing birds to go in a certain flight pattern. They're always stirred by random images of unfamiliar, albeit gorgeous men, and are always accompanied by that same feeling of warmth.
At the end of the week I finally get the opportunity to be alone for a minute. Aiden had royal business that he needed to attend to and I took my dinner into my bedroom. Aiden has spent so much time with me since I arrived, it's amazing that the kingdom has managed to proceed without him. Not that I know anything about running a kingdom, or a realm, but it seems like it would be hard work. I wonder when Aiden will feel that I'm ready to start helping him around the kingdom. He hasn't mentioned anything yet, concentrating solely on my magic. Perhaps he feels that I can't assume any duties until I have some control over powers he feels should come easily to me?
Gwenny knocks on the door and comes in with the sleeping tonic. I've been taking it every night but tonight I don't feel like I need it. I'm tired, but it's the good kind of tired where you can fall asleep easily but you're not aching from exhaustion. She sets it on the table and I pick it up and carry it over to the bed with me.
"I'm just going to sip it in my bed while reading," I tell her, holding up a book I borrowed from the library.
She stands there awkwardly for a moment before she finally smiles and leaves, bidding me goodnight in her warm way.
"Be sure to drink that, Your Majesty. You're expending so much energy with your lessons that you need a good night's rest to recover."
I nod my agreement and pretend to take a sip while she finishes leaving the room. Then, setting it down on the nightstand beside my bed, I crack open my book and eagerly start reading for the first time since I woke up in the castle. I fall asleep at some point in the middle of the book…
I've never been to this part of our world. Mother rarely let me travel with her on her royal visits, always preferring to shield me from her responsibilities until I was older. I'm bitter every time I think of how ill prepared I am for all that has happened since she passed away. There's so much I have to overcome to be the strong ruler that is needed for the land.
I've been stuck in a carriage with Him for over a week, my mind stuck on Beckham's welfare while He stares at me uncomfortably. Since all the portals have been silenced because of the plague, and no one knows that I received my mother's magic, we've been having to travel the old-fashioned way. I can tell as soon as we pass into His kingdom as the land is actually still green here. Whatever curse He used, and Lexi is looking into it all day, every day, it obviously spared His lands.
I can feel the pulse of the land here greeting me as we pass over it. Animals peek their way out behind trees as if to say hello to me. Bursts of flowers sprout from the ground as we pass by and my heart sings at how healthy the land is here. I keep making furtive glances around me, afraid that someone will notice the land's strange reaction to me, but He doesn't appear to notice. I remember that the land and its inhabitants would do similar things around my mother. He grabs my hand and I inwardly flinch, while pasting a smile on my face. I'm sure it looks hollow, but He's gotten good at ignoring my fakeness over the last few months.
He leans over me, pointing out buildings that are approaching. I want to tell myself that my interest is fake but since I've never been anywhere really, I'm beyond interested. Despite the fact that this is His homeland, it's still part of my kingdom. I have had to remind myself lately that I am the actual ruler of the land, not Him. Children run beside the carriage, waving as we pass by. I smile and wave at them in return. Children haven't smiled in the rest of my kingdom in months. Despite the attractiveness of the smile on His face my heart hardens even further against Him. How dare He take this happiness away from so many.
The town fades from view as we near His family's castle. It's the opposite of mine. Dark where mine is light. That seems to be a common theme with Him. The stones are a charcoal color flecked with silver, pretty but intimidating. It looks more like a military barrack than it does a true castle and I marvel at how well it suits its owner. He seems to be more relaxed as we pass through the gates and I envy Him.
There's a small crowd waiting for us as we pull up to the main entrance. They're a somber crowd, and a shiver runs down my spine as I survey them after He helps me down from the carriage. The air has a feeling of unhappiness, as if the ancient stone walls can sense what it's Master has done and is in mourning for the blight on the family name.
The crowd is a mix of servants and nobles, and they all bow low, albeit insincerely, as I pass. I nod my head to them in greeting. He doesn't bother to introduce them to me and I'm not surprised. I would have been more surprised if He had. We walk down a long hallway so quickly that I hardly have time to see my surroundings. The castle is as dark on the inside as it is on the outside, with little light to be found. I think longingly of my palace where windows are everywhere you look. My thoughts stray for one second to the cottage where Beckham and I first made love. I yank the memory back just as quickly as it comes. That chapter of my life is closed now. I will make sure of that if it means saving Beckham's life.
He shows me to a room behind a heavy, foreboding door. The room is lavishly decorated. Dark greys and silvers match the castle perfectly. It's a beautiful room befitting a queen, and I know I'm lucky under the circumstances that He's given me it considering everything else He's stripped away from me. My heart still yearns to be anywhere else though.
"I'll leave you here to get cleaned up. I would like to introduce you to my family sooner rather than later," he tells me, gesturing to a door on the far side of the room that must hold a bathroom. I nod but say nothing. Giving a sigh of exasperation, He shakes His head and marches out of the room, lightly slamming the door as He does.
Servants have already brought in my trunks full of my clothes, and although I have little time to get ready, I attempt to open them with magic. The trunks start to shake, and then one flies open so hard that the lid becomes disconnected from the trunk and crashes into the wall with a loud bang. He must have been standing right outside, because the door comes flying open.
"Eva?" He says, His worry turning into suspicion when He sees the state of my trunk and the fact that I'm still standing on the other side of the room from the trunk.
"What happened here?" He asks, His eyes seeming to pierce into my brain.
"The spring on the trunk was defective," I tell Him, the lie rolling easily off my lips. He weighs my words for a second, and then decides to let it go.
"Be careful, My Princess," He tells me. A roar of rage rises up inside of me. The use of "Princess" is intentional, designed to let me know where I stand in His eyes. For the millionth time since I met this evil creature I itch to use my power on Him. My fingernails bite into my hands, and I can feel drops of blood pooling from the cuts as I attempt to temper my anger. It's not until He leaves the room that I can breathe again.
There's a fitted black dress in one of my trunks, and I throw it on. A red sash completes the look. I stare at myself in the long mirror that's on one of the walls. I hardly recognize myself. I never would be caught wearing black before all of this. I'm pale and much too skinny. Thinking back, I actually can't remember the last time I ate. I sit at dinners with Him, but it's to keep my end of the deal that we appear like husband and wife. There's no actual eating on my end. He knocks on the door again, reminding me that He's never far away. I take a deep breath and prepare for the start of the rest of my year. Surely not all of the inhabitants of the castle are as awful as Him, right?
His eyes widen as He takes in my appearance and there's a burst of longing visible that He quickly hides. I'm viciously glad that my appearance makes Him want me. He should know the same pain of wanting something you can't have that I do.
