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“Did you stretch this morning?” She’d risen early to get Eliza dressed and ready to leave for Pancake Tuesday breakfast at the diner in town. Eliza was currently kicked back on the sofa, watching cartoons.
“Yes. Right after Remmy let me out of bed.”
She smiled and looked down at the dog. “Good boy.”
Remmy let out a soft woof and wagged his tail.
“He did his job. It’s working,” Chase admitted with hope and a little trepidation.
They were both in awe that Remmy slept right beside Chase’s side of the bed every night now. As soon as Chase showed any sign of distress, Remmy jumped up, lay next to him, and licked his face or pawed at his chest to wake him up. Once Chase settled, Remmy would take his spot on the floor again. Over the last few nights, Remmy learned to read the cues from Chase and snuggled up close to him when there was a change in his breathing or he twitched. Any sign of distress and Remmy was right there to soothe Chase, allowing Shelby to get the sleep she needed, too.
Of course, Chase still reached for her in the night, and Shelby was used to Remmy sliding in between them if need be.
But Chase slept more in the last five days than he’d probably slept this whole month, and she was so grateful everything was coming together.
She needed to send Drake and Adria a thank-you for all they’d done, coming here to reassure Chase in person and bringing Remmy to help him.
She turned to him and put her hand on his cheek. “You look better.”
“I feel better. The first night we had him, I was still worried about falling asleep.”
“Why?” The nightmares, of course, but it seemed like something more.
“I was so afraid of hurting you again. I didn’t think you were safe with me, but I wanted you with me so damn bad.” He touched his forehead to hers and heldher gaze. “But then Remmy woke me in the middle of a nightmare. You were still sleeping peacefully next to me. I breathed a little easier and pulled you close. I didn’t settle right away, so Remmy lay at my back. You were tucked up against me. I held you and tried to think only about good things. Eventually, I fell back asleep. Remmy woke me several times that night, but you were always right there, safe. I hadn’t grabbed you or hurt you.”
“Chase, honey, I’m not afraid of you.”
“I’m glad, but I was afraid of me.” He leaned back and brushed his hand up her arm and over the fading bruises on her bicep. “I can’t stand that I did that to you. And now I have Remmy to help me make sure I never do something like that again.”
“How was it having him at the ranch yesterday?” She wanted to steer the conversation away from the past and focus on the future.
“Good. He reads me really well. Better than I recognize the signs that something is going on with me. When he feels my anxiety amping up or my training kicks in and I’m on high alert for a threat that isn’t there, he’s right at my side, distracting me, making me take notice of my behavior. It helps. A lot.”
“That’s really great, Chase.”
“Having you and Eliza here...” He choked up on her.
She put her hand over his heart. “It’s been really nice, us, living like a family here the past several days.” She and Chase couldn’t seem to stand being apart anymore. She’d never had someone who wanted her around all the time and missed her the way he did when she was gone. Except for Eliza, of course, but it was different having Chase miss her like that and be so happy to see her at the end of each day.
“I’d like to make this a permanent thing.” Chase made that clear in every way.
She loved being here with him. She didn’t really feel like going back to her place and missing a night with him. It felt like the last two years had been a huge missed opportunity. She wanted to be with Chase. She wanted Eliza to really know her daddy and make as many memories with him as they could.
They’d already fallen into a routine that worked for all of them. She and Eliza arrived for dinner each night. She cooked most nights. Chase barbecued once. Chase did bath time, and they read Eliza books together. Once Eliza was in bed, Shelby and Chase relaxed in the living room, talking about their day, watching something on TV, but mostly just cuddling together until it was time for bed. There, they came together with the same kind of need and desire they’d always shared. The connection between them seemed to grow stronger. And in the morning, they woke up smiling at each other.
They were happy.
And Shelby hoped it lasted forever.
But Chase was still working on his mental health. She was so happy to see that finally going well for him. But she didn’t delude herself that a few good days of sleep and no new flashbacks meant Chase was well.
A chill went through her.
“What’s wrong?” Chase studied her face. “You said you like being here with me.”
She immediately reassured him. “I do. I love being with you.” That’s as close as she had come to telling him she loved him. She thought she fell in love with him a little that first night they spent together, but dismissed it, because what did she really know about love? No onehad ever really loved her. She’d always felt a distance with her grandparents. With everyone. Until Chase.
The feeling he left her with that night grew stronger with the birth of Eliza and seeing how invested and in love he was with their daughter. And now, it really felt like this was their chance to let their feelings grow into something good for all of them. She finally had someone in her life who really cared about her. He showed her in so many ways that he was good for her and Eliza, especially in the way he kept working on himself.
