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“I need puppy?”
Chase wanted to say yes, because he had the house and land, but that seemed like a decision he should make with Shelby. “You can pet a cow. And a horse.” He hoped that appeased her.
Eliza smiled. “Okay.”
Chase had so far screwed up taking care of the people in his life. He probably should wait on the dog until he had his shit together. But the thought of getting one and making his little girl happy seemed like a simple way to make up for his absences in her life and get her to like him even more. Yet he’d come back this time to be her dad, not just the guy who showed up with gifts and had fun with her, then left again.
Chase pointed down at Eliza and spoke to Max. “Watch her for a minute. I need to talk to Shelby alone.”
Max gave a reluctant nod. “Hurry up. I’m not good with kids.”
“Fly me.” Eliza held her arms up to Max.
Chase smiled. “You’ll do fine.” He turned and headed back to the bedroom.
Shelby sat on the edge of the bed and tied her shoe. “Are you sure you want to keep Eliza today? If your brother needs you to—”
He cut her off. “I want to keep her. She wants to stay with me today.”
“Okay.” Shelby didn’t comment on his defensive tone and stood to leave.
He stepped into her path. “Hold on. I want to say something.”
She stopped in front of him and waited, nothing but patience in her eyes.
He tried to find the right words. “I’m sorry about what happened.”
“You’ve already apologized.”
He planted his hands on his hips and hung his head. “It doesn’t feel like enough.”
“Chase, I’m fine.” She took him by the shoulders and held on. “I’m not harboring any ill will toward you. I’m not thinking bad things about you. I’m sorry that you’re hurting. I wish I knew how to make it stop so you could just live your life without all this stuff that happens to you shaking you up all the time.”
“I wish I knew how to let it go.”
“It’s going to take time for the work you’re doing to really take effect. I see how hard you’re trying and how much you want it. Let that be enough for now.” She put her hand on his chest. “It’s enough for me.”
He loved it when she touched him. He loved her for saying that to him.
It took him a second to get out what he really wanted to know. “Are you afraid of leaving Eliza with me?”
“I know you would never hurt her intentionally or allow her to get hurt. I know you love her. I trust that youwill do everything you can to keep her safe.” She understood that he couldn’t promise nothing would happen, but he’d try damn hard to protect Eliza from harm, even if that meant he had to use Max as backup.
“I will keep her safe. I swear.”
She put her hand on his arm. “I also know that sometimes you lose touch with reality. That’s not your fault. And you know it can happen. So I expect that you’ll be cautious and aware of things that could trigger you.”
“Up until last night, I thought I’d gotten that under control. I hadn’t had an episode in weeks at rehab before I left.”
She frowned, and her gaze filled with sorrow. “And then you suffered another trauma. It’s natural that your mind would try to resolve that and make sense out of something beyond your control.” She took another small step closer. “I don’t expect you to be perfect. I expect you to do the best you can in the moment and ask for help when you need it. So take Eliza to the ranch. Show her where you grew up. Reconnect with Max. Enjoy the day without spending it thinking I’m judging every tiny little thing you do, because I’m not.”
“Hurting you last night was not a tiny thing.”
She sighed, then gave him a quick, unexpected kiss. “Let it go. Have fun today. I need to get to work.” She tried to step around him, but he took her arms and pulled her back, then kissed her the way they’d kissed in the kitchen. He’d like her sitting in his lap again. The bed behind her tempted him to do a hell of a lot more than kiss her. But he kissed her again and again, feeling the tension go out of her until she clung to him.
They both let go of everything and lost themselves in each other and the kiss. Reluctantly he rememberedhe couldn’t keep her here all day, pulled back, and said, “Have a good day at work, honey.” He brushed his thumbs across her soft cheeks.
Her eyes looked a little dazed, and he took satisfaction in that. “Use some of the confidence you have in doing that to get through today,” she said.
