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He abandoned even the pretense of eating and watched Eliza devour her food. He wondered at her carefree spirit and the energy radiating from her as she kind of bounced in her seat and kicked her feet back and forth. He remembered being that energetic as a kid. Now, he needed someone to give him a massage just so he could get up off the floor.
He thought last night could have been the start of something. He’d had Shelby right where he wanted her. Beside him.
It took some coaxing to get her there, but the second she settled in, he’d felt like everything was finally right in his world.
Until . . .
“Mama.”
His head snapped up, and he stared at her coming toward him, waiting for the totally warranted attack on his character.
But she walked in like nothing happened, still looking a little sleepy. She kissed Eliza on the head, picked up a piece of waffle, and pretended she was going to eat it.
“Mine!” Eliza glared up at her.
Shelby popped the piece into Eliza’s open mouth, making their little girl smile as she chewed. Shelby grinned at him, went to the coffeepot and poured herself a mug, then came back to the table. She stood in front of him and studied his face for just a moment, but it felt like an eternity. “You look like you actually got some sleep.” She ran her hand over his hair, then sat in the chair between his and Eliza’s and sipped the coffee.
It took him a second to find his voice. “Are you okay?”
She rubbed her hand over the back of her neck. “I tweaked my neck.”
“I’m sorry.” He didn’t know what else to say even if he owed her a hell of a lot more than a simple apology that didn’t fix or erase what he did.
“No worries. I’m just glad you finally got some sleep.” She put her hand over his fisted one on the table.
He pulled his hand away. He didn’t deserve her touch or her company. “You should go now.” He couldn’t take looking at her much longer, knowing what he’d done, and stretching this out until she walked out with Eliza.
Shelby turned to him, blocking Eliza behind her. She stared at him for another long moment, pressed her lips into a tight line, then pushed her chair back, picked upEliza, who had finished her breakfast, and walked out of the kitchen toward Eliza’s room.
It felt like someone wrapped a band around his chest and cinched it tight. He could barely take a breath. The pain of losing her just might kill him this time.
Shelby walked back in, still only wearing her T-shirt and leggings, no shoes. She stopped two feet in front of him. “Okay, Eliza is watching cartoons on her tablet. I’ve only filled up to about a quarter tank of caffeine, so I’m just going to ask and you’re going to answer, and we’ll figure it out. Okay?”
It took some effort, but he met her steady and confused gaze and nodded.
“What’s wrong?”
Like she didn’t know.
“I hurt you.”
She rubbed her hand over her neck again. “It’s just a stiff neck. You can return the favor and give me a good rubdown.” She gave him a sexy smile to back up the innuendo.
He didn’t let her get away with dismissing his deplorable behavior. He sank deeper into the seat, tried not to choke on his regret and remorse, and shook his head. “Don’t. Say what you really want to say.” He deserved it and more for what he’d done.
She held up both hands, palms up. “You first. Because I don’t understand why you want to tear down what we’ve barely started building between us.” Her hands dropped back to her sides, and her eyes pleaded with him to listen to her. “I thought we made some headway last night. I was so happy to be able to help you feel better. I didn’t plan on spending the night, but I found I didn’t want to leave you. I wanted to be next toyou. I wanted to wake up with you this morning.” Her words were thick with emotion and longing.
Hope was a fickle bitch. It rose up so quickly at her words, but he knew how this ended. With her walking out the door and all hope of the future he wanted dead.
“But I woke up alone.”
He hated the sorrow in those words.
Her eyes narrowed. “And you’re pissed off and trying to shove me out the door. Well, no. I’m not going.” She plunked herself right back in the chair, picked up her coffee, took a long sip, and stared straight out the front windows like nothing and no one was moving her.
Chase reached out a shaking hand and brushed his fingertips featherlight up her arm, pushing her shirtsleeve up and exposing the marks he’d left on her. “I am so incredibly sorry.” That band around his chest tightened, and his throat clogged as he waited for her to say something.
She put her hand over his on her shoulder and finally turned her head and looked at him. “You had a nightmare. One of many last night. You thought I was her. It was extremely...”
