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“I’m a little worse for wear, that’s for sure.” Epic understatement.
“How are you now?” The softly spoken question held an inquisitive tone and not a trace of accusation that maybe he hadn’t changed at all.
“I don’t know.” And that was the absolute truth.
He’d been good coming out of rehab. Hopeful. Excited, even, to start a new chapter of his life with Eliza. And Shelby, if she’d have him.
Then everything went to shit when Juliana died, and he’d ended up in the hospital with one more senseless death haunting him.
He needed to find his way back to hopeful.
He turned and took in the house she bought him. “I haven’t had a real home in seven years.”
She put her hand on his arm. “Eliza will always be your home. You need her as much as she needs you. I saw that when you came home all those months ago. Despite the time you needed to heal and you not being in the right frame of mind to be present for her, I could still see how much you wanted to be her dad. I never had one, but I want it for her. You hated your apartment. I think you felt trapped there in that tiny box, surrounded by things that weren’t yours. You talked about getting a place just like this, a place you could put down roots and call your own, and know no one could kick you out. So when I heard about this house and property, I knew it was just what you wanted and needed. This is yours, Chase. Settle in. Make it yours. Make good memories here with Eliza.”
It touched him deeply that she’d known how much he needed this. He’d been adrift for too long. “It’s mine because you were looking out for me. You had my back.”He missed that after leaving the army. He needed it. And Shelby had given it to him.
“I will always have your back, Chase. You’re Eliza’s dad. We are bound together by blood through her. You are not alone. And the next time you feel that way and you’re nose-diving toward the bottom again, you let me know, and I will be there to hold out my hand and pull you back up.”
Because you want me?
He didn’t ask. But he hoped so.
“Eliza needs you, Chase.”
Do you need me, the way I desperately need you?
He knew he could count on her. He wanted her to know she could count on him. “What do you need, Shelby?”
She stared at the house she practically stole for him. “I have Eliza. She’s all I need.”
He saw in her eyes what he’d felt for a long time. She didn’t have anyone else.
He’d felt exactly the same way, except now she’d made it clear he had her. At least as far as him being important because of their connection to Eliza. But he wanted Shelby to want to keep him close for much more personal and intimate reasons.
He wished she knew she had him, too. So he tried to remind her of that, took a chance, and brought up something they’d never talked about. “You and me, we were good together that night.” Good didn’t begin to cover what they shared. Great. Amazing. Special. His mind couldn’t come up with a word that defined that night in her arms.
If he hadn’t been watching her so closely, he wouldn’t have seen the ever-so-slight nod. But she contradictedher agreement. “I’m not the person you end up with, Chase.” The defeatist tone surprised him.
“Why not?” He really wanted to know. Because of his past? Because he’d screwed up and dove headfirst into a prescription drug bottle and never wanted to come out? Until he did. Because of her.
“Because you’re Chase Wilde.”
That didn’t explain anything.
“You could have any woman you want.”
He wanted her.
“You don’t end up with the girl who was ruined before she was ever born. Your father knows that. Your brothers, too.” She moved past him and went to the front door, putting her back to him and shutting down the conversation.
Ruined? What the hell does she mean?
He turned to her as she pulled a set of keys from her purse. He stopped dead in his tracks and stared down at the mat she stood on in front of the door that read, “Welcome Home,” with “Wilde” underneath the greeting.
“A housewarming gift. To remind you this is yours. This is home now.”
How the hell did she keep surprising him like this?
