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When her sister didn’t continue Stephanie prompted, “So, what did you want to talk to me about?”
“Right, um, well…” Simone shifted in her chair and sat up taller as if she was trying to prepare herself. The uneasy feeling that had dissolved earlier returned.
Finally, she placed her hands on her thighs, looked straight in Stephanie’s eyes and said, “I’m sorry.”
Another apology?!Stephanie held the panic waters that wanted to flood at bay, as she hoped to finally get to the bottom of whatever her sister was tiptoeing around. “What are you apologizing for?”
She let out a harsh bark of laughter. “What am I not apologizing for?”
Stephanie waited for an explanation. Instead of giving her one, her sister sat in the chair crossing and uncrossing her legs. Shifting from side to side. Looking about as comfortable as someone sitting in a hive of red ants.
“Simone you’re really freaking me out.”
“Sorry. Sorry, I’m just really bad at this.” Simone left the chair and sat in front of Stephanie on the bed. “Okay, I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for not taking out the trash when you asked. Or cleaning my room. Or doing my homework. I’m sorry for lying to you and telling you I was spending the night at Jules when I was really down at the River with Beau. I’m sorry about sneaking out of the house. I’m sorry that I used to take your keys while you slept because you were bartending all night and go joyriding with my friends before I had my license. I’m sorry that I stole money from your purse sophomore year to get a fake I.D. so I could buy alcohol. I’m sorry I stole money from your purse for alcohol. I’m sorry I—”
“Are you in AA?” Stephanie cut in.
“What? AA? I’m not… Why do you think that!?” Simone’s hands flew up in the air.
Stephanie could see that she’d upset her sister. That was the last thing she’d wanted to do. She was trying to make this easier for her. “I didn’t know what you were doing and then you said you had a fake I.D. and bought alcohol and I thought maybe this was part of your recovery. That you were in a twelve step program and you were making amends.”
Simone stared at her sister for a second and Stephanie waited for her to tell her this was why she couldn’t talk to her about anything and storm out of the room dramatically.
But to her surprise, Simone’s head fell back as she busted out laughing. When her laughter subsided she sighed loudly before explaining, “No, sissy. I’m not in a twelve step program. I just…I had a talk with Ace the other day and I figured some things out and I wanted to tell you.”
“Oh, okay.” Stephanie wasn’t sure what Ace had to do with this but she tried not to overthink it and just listen to her sister.
“I realized that I treated you horribly, and you didn’t deserve it. Before mom left, I was just so mad at you because I thought that if you would just stop, just stop taking care of me and Scott, then she would have to do it. Then when mom left, I blamed you. I was so mad at you because I thought that if you would’ve just left us alone then she would’ve had to come back and be with us. She’d have to be our mom. She wouldn’t have a choice. I hated you because to me it was all your fault. Her leaving us was your fault. I even thought it was your fault dad left us. I know it doesn’t make sense, but I was a kid.” Tears sprung to Simone’s eyes and she made no move to wipe them away before they fell down her cheeks. “I did all of those things I told you I was sorry for, and more, on purpose to try to make you leave. I made your life hell and all you’ve ever done is take care of us. All you’ve ever done is make sure we had everything we need. You loved us, made sure that we all stayed together and I was so mean. I was horrible and I’m so sorry. I love you and I don’t know what I would do without you. I’m so sorry.”
Simone broke down completely and Stephanie had tears falling down her face as she pulled her little sister into her arms and hugged her. Stephanie assured her sister that she loved her, and that she shouldn’t feel bad. She’d been an angry, confused kid. They held on to each other cried and cried until they were all cried and hugged out.
When they were done Stephanie grabbed some tissues from the box that was sitting beside her and handed some to her sister. They blew their noses and laughed at how loud it was.
Her sister offered to make her some tea and Stephanie almost started crying again as she accepted. This was a whole new side of Simone.
As she reclined back against her pillows she asked her as she headed out to the kitchen, “When did you talk to Ace?”
Her sister stopped in the doorway. “When you left me here and asked me to check on him.”
“Oh, he woke up?” She remembered her sister had told her that he hadn’t needed anything so she’d just assumed that they hadn’t spoken.
A mischievous spark lit in Simone’s eyes as a sly smile pulled at her lips. “I woke him up the same way I woke you up.”
“The same way…” Stephanie tried to remember how her sister had woken her up. After the emotional journey they’d just traveled, that seemed like a lifetime ago, not just twenty minutes. Then she remembered. “You asked him if we played naughty nurse and bad patient?!”
Simone nodded, her smile growing wider, clearly proud of herself. “Yep, I sure did.”
Now Stephanie really wanted to crawl under her covers and stay there. She was so embarrassed. “What did he say?”
Simone’s eyes lifted to the ceiling, like she was trying to recall. Stephanie saw the moment she found the memory. Her sister cupped her hands together and brought them to the center of her chest. “He said the same thing you did.”
The same thing she did? Stephanie couldn’t remember what that was. “What did I say?”
“You asked where Ace was. You asked for each other.” Her sister left her post and started down the hall, calling back, “That’s so romantic. He’s definitely your leading man. You better cast him before someone else does.”
Stephanie closed her eyes and thought about what her sister had said. She shared her sister’s sentiment. It was kind of romantic. However, her sister didn’t know she had a whole list of things that scored much higher on the romantic scale. Like him taking her to see Scott when they were supposed to go to dinner. Him taking care of her as if she was the most precious thing in the world to him the past three days. And him going to see Scott when she was too sick to and calling her sister so she wouldn’t be alone. The list went on and on.
As far as being the leading man and casting him, she agreed but they weren’t even technically dating.
Whose fault is that?
Her inner voice was right. It was her fault that they were in relationship limbo. She hadn’t been ready for more before, but now she was. She was ready for her happily-ever-after life, not just her happily-ever-after night. And according to Ace that was going to be filled with dinners, dancing, and the DMV.
She smiled to herself. It sounded perfect.
