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“I’m sorry,” I back away with force and start walking briskly to the exit to find Damien.
Damien is my safe space. I think I’ve already made my decision. I can hear Oliver calling after me, but I refuse to turn back.
“He is going to hurt you, Ava!” Oliver cries out over the crowd.
I find my way outside. My head is spinning as I look for Damien. When I finally spot him, my blood runs cold, and a single tear falls down my cheek. I’m stuck. The world goes silent, and my voice is muted. I cannot form words.
Damien is kissing Mallory. Mallory and Damien are kissing.
I swear it is like a scene from a bad romance movie. I wipe the tear away and take a deep breath before making my way toward them.Traitor. The word keeps rumbling in my head.
“This is epic!” I say sarcastically, clapping my hands, and they both turn to face me. Except Mallory seems like she’s just hit the jackpot, and Damien like he’s just seen a ghost. “Damien, I didn’t know you had it in you, you big softy,” I scoff, and a fake grin forms on my face.
“Ava…,” he whispers, glaring at me with fear in his eyes.
“No, I get it.” I cut him off. “If you want heaven…,” I run my hand through my hair and shoot my eyes to Mallory, “you have to crawl through hell.”
“Firef–”
Firefly? Is he for real?I roughly pinch his lips shut with my fingers, and he doesn’t fight it. The exact lips that made me feel something I’ve never felt before. Now it’s gone. Whatever we could have had is gone.
Fighting back the tears of anger, I whisper, “We were never going to work, Damien.” My words seem to cut him deep like a knife. His shoulders fall, and his eyes widen.
“Avalyne, you don’t mean it.”
“Oh, but I do.” His puppy dog eyes don’t stop me from hurting him with my words. Hurting me. “I need someone who is actually a fucking man and will own his feelings, Mr. I am Unable to Love!” I shout louder than I’d like to, but none of my screams could suppress the sound of my heart breaking into more pieces than it is made of. And then, I turn and run. “Firefly! Wait!” Damien chases after me and soon enough catches me by my elbow, turning me to face him.
At this point, tears are streaming down my face like a waterfall, and I refuse to look him in the eyes. I wriggle, trying to free myself from his firm embrace but in vain.
“Avalyne, stop!” He raises his voice. “Just let me explain! I’m not letting you go. Please.” He pleads.
He lifts my chin and rests his forehead on mine. Our eyes lock. I want to take a deep breath, but I can’t. I feel like I’m suffocating. I feel like I’m losing the ground under my feet. I was ready to risk everything just to be with this man. The man who betrayed me the second his ex shows up. Clearly, he and Mallory have a history together. And from what I see, a deep one. You don’t react so impulsively seeing an old friend. And that day in the uni hallway, he got all tense as soon as he saw her. He tried to fight his emotions, the effect this girl had on him. Hell, maybe he even tried to convince himself that he no longer has feelings for her. But you can’t fight love. Finally, it all makes sense to me. She had to be his love, maybe first love, maybe the only love he had, or maybe the recent love. But she sure as hell had to be the most important one.
“Baby, please…,” he says, gazing deeply into my eyes, stroking my cheek with his thumb. “I can’t…,” he says and then stops as if weighing his words. As if unable to admit his feelings. And that’s it. The last strike.
“I would kiss you goodbye, but I’m all about staying STD-free,” I say harshly, yanking out of his grip, and turn on my heels before I start running ahead of me.
“Leave her, Damien.” The last thing I hear is her voice, fading out as I run further and further. “I’m here now. I’m back.”
After that, I can hear Damien’s enraged voice screaming something, but his words are just out of reach. It’s all just a muffle.
