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I walk over to Amber in the second row, close enough to where I can hear their conversation, and ask how she liked the book. She replies, but I’m not listening, and instead turning my focus on Leslie.
“Would you go to dinner with me tonight?” the man asks.
Calm down. She is not yours.Leslie can go out with whoever she wants.
“I’d love to.”
I walk back up to the front, and pace for a minute. Leslie is going out with another guy, and for some reason, I’m furious. My fists tighten, and I start to see red. What the hell am I going to do? Personally, I want to go over and punch the guy in the face, but I can’t. We are not even an item, and jealousy isn’t a good look. My fear is she won’t be single by the time the semester ends, and what if I lose her forever? All because I’m too scared to say fuck the university and do what my hearts wants.
“Alright, settle down, class. Your assignment was to read the first two chapters of Great Expectations for class today. First order of business is to take the first fifteen minutes to fill out this worksheet, and then we’ll do a class discussion.”
I turn the timer on from my phone, and the students take out a writing utensil from their backpacks, and then the hall goes silent. I take this time to get a hold of myself, because in this lecture hall, I can’t let things affect me. Especially, Leslie. This is where I need to remain professional and let her do what she wants. I can’t expect her to not go out with anyone. She is a beautiful woman, and I have been clear that we can’t be an item until after the semester is over.Did I think she was going to wait around for me?I laugh, and a couple students look up at me.
Why am I over here acting like a scorned lover? I need to stop getting jealous and let her live her life. She understands that this can’t be anything but professional until after she is no longer a student in my class. So, I need to keep my feelings at bay, and under the radar. Gawking at her talking to another man isn’t helping my cause.
I need to remember my goal and screwing the pooch over a woman isn’t going to secure my retirement. She is free to go out with whomever she wants, and I will stand by idly and be patient. It’s my only option. What would I do if the university found out? Teaching has always been a way to fill a void, and my novel still has two chapters to go before it’s even got a completed first draft. No one is ever going to contract it, so it’s not like I’m going to make a million dollars or anything. She helped me open myself up, and that’s exactly what I need. Someone to help me realize that it’s all in my head. Focus on getting the words on the page and nothing. Imposter syndrome can’t get me.
I pace around the room, and notice the guy smiling at her, but she isn’t paying attention. She is a good student and is working on the assignment. Will she have a good time with him? I brush it off, knowing that this man is probably going to try to take her home on the first date, and she isn’t that type of girl. So, I have nothing to worry about.
The fact remains:Leslie Haddon is off-limits.
11
LESLIE
My eyes stay on the paper in front of me, and I hunch over the desk not to let my eyes wander. I can feel Noah staring at me. Right now, we are in class and I have to act like just a student. It’s hard, for sure, when my heart wants other things, but that’ll have to wait.
The guy sitting next to me asked me out tonight, and since I’m single, why the hell not? Is it rude to agree when you don’t actually see it going anywhere? I mean, guys do it all the time, right? Ask a girl out just to get laid at the end of the night. So, I don’t know why I’m trying to make myself feel bad about it. I mean, the guy is cute, but he’s not Noah.
“Alright, pencils down,” Noah says, as the alarm goes off. “Pass them to the front and let’s begin our discussion.”
Hands fly up and he calls on someone in the back. The student stands up and looks around the room. He isn’t so eager to talk now.
“Well, sir, the first chapter introduces Pip, and some other characters…” he starts to taper off.
“And what did you think about the introduction? Did it keep you intrigued to learn more about him?”
“Yes, sir.”
He looks around the room, and calls on another student. “What about you?”
“Being an orphan myself, the chapter hit home for me. The quality of writing is wonderful and nothing like the books coming out today. There is so much detail, and fluff in them, that just isn’t in newly published novels.”
I look at Noah, and he is staring directly at me. Why? His eyes bear into mine, deep into my soul, and my panties become wet.
“What about you, Ms. Haddon? Anything you would like to add?” He crosses his arms, and leans on his right leg.
“I find it depressing that he never met his real parents, and the only information he knows is what his sister has told him. The cemetery, crying beside his parent’s graves, actually caused an emotional response, which is exactly what a good written novel should do. Get you into your feelings.”
Noah’s lip twitches, and he leans back on his desk. “And what else?”
“The complexity and prose of this novel is second to none. You just don’t find writing like this anymore, and it truly pulls you in and leaves you intrigued at the end of every paragraph.”
He nods, and calls on another student so I sit down.
The discussion over chapter two emerges, and somehow I can’t concentrate. Did he hear the man ask me out? He is acting weird, but he wouldn’t want me to sit around and wait for him. I’m sure he isn’t going to be. A man that looks like that can have any woman he wants, and the way he can fuck, they will come back for more. Hell, by the end of the semester, will he even want me anymore? Or will he have gotten his fix for someone else, and move on?
What hold does this man have over me? He can look at me and I want to fuck his brains out instantly. I’ve never been a very sexually active person. In fact, I’m usually the one that doesn’t have sex with a man until we’ve been together for a while. And not ever on a first date. But Noah is different in every way. He’s educated, well-mannered, great in the bedroom, and his eyes make me melt. Being around him makes me want to jump his bones every time. It’s like a pull, and I can’t shake it.
