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“How have you been?” My heart squeezes when I notice the deeply etched lines in his face and the gray that’s mostly overtaken his hair. He looks like he’s aged years since I’ve seen him last.
“I’ve been worried sick about you.” He brushes my cheek with his hand. “It’s so good to see you, Georgia. God, I didn’t know if I would ever see you again. It’s all my fault, sweetheart. If it wasn’t for me—”
“No Daddy, don’t. What choice did you have? If you didn’t take that loan from the Antonovs, the restaurant would have gone under… and then where would we be?”
A bitter tear escapes down his cheek. “If I knew what it would cost me, I would never have let him take you.” He bows his head. “Your mother would never forgive me.”
Seeing my father so bereft has my heart twisting in my chest. He’s tortured himself with this, and I can tell it’s eaten him up inside. “You didn’t let him, Dad. It was my choice. And it hasn’t all been bad,” I say, quietly. The truth of my words unnerve me as my thoughts turn to Andrei. “We’re under Kozlov protection now.”
“I know.” His lips press together. “A gentleman named Yulian came by a little while ago and we had a nice long talk. I gather you are working for them now.”
I shrug one shoulder and gaze out the window towards the rocky shoreline covered in wildflowers. Such a pretty place for men that conduct such ugly business. “Not quite working for them. Working with them is more like it. We have the same goal—to take down Oleg Antonov.”
“I don’t know what you mean,” he says, frowning. “How can you help gangsters? These men are Russian mafia, Georgia. They are just as dangerous as Oleg Antonov—maybe more so.”
I shake my head, releasing a mirthless laugh. “It’s not that simple. I’ve changed, Dad, and I want to help them. It’s the only way we’ll ever be free of the Antonovs. You know as well as I do Oleg will never forgive your debt. I would be his prisoner forever.”
Dad winces. My news may be unwelcome, but it’s not a shock. My father understands he made a deal with the devil. One he regrets, but regret won’t buy back our freedom.
“Are you in danger from that man?” My father's eyes dart towards the window, where Andrei is outside, pacing and talking on his cell phone.
“No, I promise I’m not.”
Just in danger of getting my heart broken.
As I watch him pace outside in the midday sun, I’m at a loss. Andrei has made me want things I have no right to want, to feel things I’ve never felt before. I’ve been trying to protect both of us from the mountain of pain that lies ahead, but I’ve just caused more hurt.
I want to believe that there’s another option for us. I just don’t know what that looks like.
It occurs to me I can’t leave things with Andrei this way. This arctic chill that’s settled between us is not how I want our last days together to feel. If this is all the time we have, I want to give myself to him completely.
My father’s eyes coast over my face, so many questions lurking beneath the surface. I lean into his warmth, enjoying his heat and the comforting presence that I’ve relied on my whole life.
“I can’t tell you the details of what’s going on, but it’ll be okay. If I’m successful, the Antonovs won’t be a threat, and we can go back to our life. I can help at the restaurant and—”
My father shakes his head sadly. “No Georgia, nothing will be the same again.”
I’m silent. He’s right, of course, but all I can offer him is the comfort of my hand in his.
Throat thick, I say, “Maybe it’s okay if things change. If life moves on from what it was.”
Dad nods, and the knot in my chest loosens. “It’s time for you to go back to school and focus on what you want. Your dreams. It should have never been on you to look after our little family.” I’m about to argue, but my father stops me with a hand on my arm. “Promise me no matter what, you’ll be careful, that you won’t put yourself in danger.” There’s a pleading note in his voice.
My stomach hollows and I give him a weak smile. That’s all I can offer; anything further out of my mouth would be a lie.
The time with my father passes by all too fast. I wish I could spend longer with him. Hell, I wish I never had to say goodbye, but after a lovely lunch and a walk outside, Yulian appears in the cabin and nods his head at me. It’s time for us to say goodbye. Once again, I fight tears as I hug Dad and promise him it will all be okay.
It’s much harder to convince myself.
* * *
“I don’t want it to be this way between us.”
Andrei’s back straightens, but he doesn’t turn and look at me. He sits on an Adirondack chair with his elbows on his knees, eyes focused on the calm blue water in front of him.
When I step beside Andrei, his frosty gaze finally finds mine. He doesn’t tell me to go away, nor does he invite me to get closer. He watches to see what I’ll do next. The bravery that brought me here is nowhere to be found, quick to flee in Andrei’s presence. But if Monsieur Coset has taught me anything, it’s to fake it till you make it.
I don’t wait for Andrei’s permission. I step between his legs, my body eclipsing any view of the water that he was just enjoying. Although enjoying would not be the word—not with the haunted look in his eyes.
