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He would understand that it didn’t change what was between them. That her love for him was genuine. She fervently hoped so at any rate.
The drawing room door opened. The nanny was standing there with the twin boys on either side of her, holding their hands. They looked flushed, their cheeks rosy, and their big blue eyes were gleaming like sapphires.
“I am sorry to disturb you, my Lady,” said the nanny, smiling. “Just letting you know they had a very long walk around the square before a game of catch. They are a little tired now. Some quiet activities before luncheon, I think?”
Eleanor nodded. “That sounds perfect, Nanny. You may take them to the nursery.” Her eyes lingered on her children. “I am so glad you had a lovely morning with Nanny, my darlings. Mama shall call on you presently.”
Both boys beamed at her, their eyes filled with adoration. Patricia’s heart shifted in her chest. It wasn’t a surprise to her at all that Eleanor doted upon her children and saw them frequently throughout the day. Her friend would never have been the type to ignore her children and leave their upkeep exclusively to the servants. That was not Eleanor’s style at all. She had far too large a heart for that.
She thought of Jackson, and what he had told her about his own upbringing. How his father had been so distant, leaving the servants to raise him. And yet her husband had turned into a good man despite that. A man who forgave his father for his lack of intimacy and sought to understand his actions. He had chosen not to be bitter.
Her heart lurched. She was the luckiest woman in the world.
The Nanny curtseyed and lead the boys away, closing the door behind her. Eleanor turned back to Patricia.
“How are you feeling now?” she asked gently. “Have you resolved some of this in your own mind, my dear?”
Patricia took a deep breath. “Yes, Eleanor. Your sage words have given me the courage that I needed. Thank you for not judging me and listening. It truly has meant the world to me.”
Eleanor reached out, taking her hand. “There is nothing to judge, my dear. You are a young lady in this society and your life is not your own. You should not judge yourself harshly either. We women have such limited choices. It is what you do now that matters and shall make all the difference.”
Patricia nodded, staring out the large window. For the very first time, hope fluttered to life within her chest. She would go back to St. James’s square and tell Jackson everything. Now that she had finally found her courage, there was not a moment to lose.
