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Chapter Eighteen
The carriage entered Grosvenor Square at a leisurely pace. Patricia jumped a little, feeling suddenly panicked. She had been so lost in her reverie she had barely noticed the journey. Her eyes focused on her surroundings at long last.
The Reynold’s tall, grand townhouse was sandwiched in between two others that were equally impressive. The townhouses surrounded the central green park, where ladies and gentlemen were already leisurely strolling. Grosvenor Square was one of the most exclusive addresses in London and Patricia knew that houses here were highly coveted by theton. If you lived on Grosvenor Square, many doors would open.
A footman sprang forward opening the carriage door and helping her to step out. Patricia gazed up at the house. The last time she had been here was to help Eleanor with the event at St. Anne’s Orphanage. It had not been so very long ago, but it felt like an eternity now. So much had changed in the ensuing weeks that it took her breath away.
She was married now. A duchess. Her troubles should be over; instead, they were only just beginning.
She bit her lip trying to control her nerves, as the grand front door opened to her. At least Eleanor was aware that she was seeking her advice. It would not be a surprise to her friend. That was something.
* * *
Eleanor was sitting in the drawing room with two cherubic boys by her side when she entered. Patricia’s gaze softened. The small boys were obviously Eleanor’s twin sons, Edward and Jason. They were almost identical, with a halo of golden curls, and big blue eyes. A servant who was obviously the boys nanny stood behind the group, in a frilly white cap and crisp white apron.
“Patricia,” cried Eleanor, springing to her feet, rushing towards her. “I did not expect you quite so early…”
“I do apologize,” said Patricia quickly. “But I was so desirous of speaking with you, Eleanor, that I rushed off as soon as breakfast was done.” Her gaze travelled to the boys again. “I do hope I am not intruding on your family time.”
Eleanor smiled easily. “It is no intrusion, Patricia. You are always welcome in my home, whatever the time is. We do not stand by formal ceremony here.” She took her hand. “Come and say hello to the boys.”
They walked towards the children. They both gazed up at her solemnly. Her heart simply melted. They were adorable, with their golden curls, dressed in matching green velvet britches and jackets.
“Hello there,” she cooed, kneeling down to address them. “My name is Patricia. It is very nice to see you.”
They both smiled shyly, ducking their heads.
“Nanny, you may take the boys for a walk across the square,” said Eleanor, smiling. “I need to speak to my friend, and I am sure they shall enjoy the exercise.”
“Very good, my Lady,” said the nanny briskly. She stepped forward, taking both children by the hand. “Shall we bring the red ball to play with?”
Both boys nodded eagerly. Patricia smiled, watching them, as the nanny left the room with them. She turned to Eleanor.
“They are simply divine, Eleanor,” she said slowly. “What joy it must be to have such beautiful children.”
Eleanor laughed. “They are not always so sedate and well behaved, Patricia. Edward, in particular, can be mischievous. They can be very tiring. Twins are double the trouble, as they say.” She took a deep breath. “But I love them more than life itself and could not imagine life without them now. I am indeed very lucky. I thank the Lord daily for my blessings.”
Patricia nodded, feeling tears springing into her eyes. Would she be so blessed with children? Was she destined to have a loving family like Eleanor’s, or would her husband spurn her forever after she confessed all to him? The fear was very real. She did not know how she could bear to live beside Jackson as a polite stranger for the rest of her life, even if she was a duchess.
“Please sit down, Patricia,” said Eleanor warmly. “I shall ring for tea for us.” Her eyes rested speculatively upon her friend. “And then, I think you should tell me everything. I am here for you, my dear. Take your time.”
Patricia nodded, her heart racing, sitting down. The tea was called for, and then Eleanor settled herself opposite. They exchanged pleasantries while they waited for the tea, not talking of much. But as soon as the maid left them room, after depositing the tea along with a plate of lemon biscuits, Eleanor turned to her.
“Now,” she said, in a firm voice. “I must admit I was surprised by your letter, Patricia, and a bit dismayed by it. It made my heart sore, to think that you are troubled.” She paused, gazing at her intently. “Is it something to do with your marriage?”
Patricia nodded slowly. “It is, my dear. And I am sorrier than I can say that I feelI must burden you with it.” She took a deep, ragged breath. “I did not wish to. But you are so wise, and I simply do not know what to do about it…”
Eleanor nodded as she poured the tea then handed her a cup. Patricia sipped the hot, sweet liquid, trying to think how to begin.
“You looked very happy on your wedding day,” said Eleanor slowly, sipping her own tea. “Quite radiant. Both Nathan and I remarked upon it.” She paused. “You are genuinely fond of your new husband, are you not?”
Patricia nodded, feeling tears spring into her eyes. “Oh, I am, Eleanor. Much more than I can express.” She stared down at the rug for a moment. “I think that I am in love with him.”
Eleanor’s gaze softened. “Well, that is wonderful, Patricia. I have always liked His Grace, even though I do not know him well. He conducts himself with honor and integrity.” She hesitated. “Some of the Ton are not charitable towards him, on account of his scarred face. They call him a monster. But I have never listened to such cruelty and do not judge a person on their exterior. It is the heart and the soul that matters.”
Patricia sipped her tea, her face burning. How could she tell her friend that she had calculatingly targeted Jackson because she knew that so many young ladies would not consider him because of his scar? She was no better than any of the otherton, who judged him because of it. She was so ashamed of herself.
She took a deep breath, putting her teacup down. She must be honest. It was the only way.
